Do you want to have a bad time?
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Last time at Expedition Robison... 

 

...

 

F*ck who gave me the wrong script? You better come out here. I won't hurt you... I promise *cough*

 

Okay anyways... It's rewind time. 

 

I had just escaped that hellish island and was eventually found by a group of pirates? Well I assume they are pirates.. They wanted to kill me. HA! Like that would work. I fought 2 of them. One was an in China made lion and the other was some weird *ss black haired idiot. They were pretty weak. Especially the weird idiot. The in China made lion was decent I guess? That's new for stuff made there but anyways. 

 

After I fought them this cobra guy asked me to join his crew. I think his name was Rocks D. Xebec? I eventually made a deal with the guy and joined his crew for information about this weird new world?

 

He started to introduce his crew. There was this weird big lizard called Kaido. His name sounds familiar as f*ck but I can't think of what it could be... The lizard has some anger issues and is a real f*cking drunkard.

 

And that brings us to where we are right now. Sitting on chairs in a f*cking circle like we are in a stupid kindergarten. Right now a big blond haired guy is about to begin his 'introduction'. I honestly don't understand why in the f*cking world would they listen to what that Xebec guy says... Maybe because he is strong?

 

Anyways I learnt more things about this pirate crew.

 

First of all, their pirate crew was created on Hachinosu an island in the second half of the grand line, the New World. Their mutual quest as they called it was to gain fame and fortune. I personally think they are talking bullsh*t right now and that they came together to cause havoc among the seas and to slaughter everyone that crossed their path. 

 

That's one of the reasons I started to like this crew. Yes yes I too can take a liking to stuff. Anyways let's see how the blond giant will introduce himself.

 

"Gurararara, I my friend am Edward Newgate. Feel free to call me Newgate, brat" 

 

Why do they keep calling me brat? Maybe because they are giants but still why? Anyways I will give you a description about him. 

 

The man, now introduced as Edward Newgate wore an open dark gray vest and a black bandanna, he had blond hair and brown eyes. I estimated that his height was around 6 meters. His weapon was a gigantic bisento and judging from how his body is build he must be physically pretty strong.

 

"Heh, It's a pleasure to meet you Edward. But may I ask, why did you decide to join this crew full of maniacs? Especially the lizard. From the way you talk and act I assume that you are a rather cheerful and carefree person right? These people are more aggressive right?"

 

"Gurarara, I joined them because why not? But after a year of being with them they became my family!"

 

He is really carefree... Heh, these people are interesting compared to all those lame idiots back on Earth. 

 

"Ah, I see... You sure are a carefree person Edward." 

 

I really want to see that face of his break apart  after losing everything. AGH! My apologies there go my old habits again.

 

"Ow and brat. My name is Newgate not Edward. Edward is my surname."

 

The f*ck? Who in the right mind would think of the surname Edward? That's just stupid...

 

"Aiya, my apologies. Should I call you Newgate then?"

 

"Feel free to call me however you want to brat!"

 

"Worororo! You damn brat sure like to make friends!"

 

The heck is this idiotic lizard talking about? Wasn't it our damn captain that asked you guys to introduce yourselves? I am just being polite! Learn some manners you damn lizard.

 

"Well you guys are supposed to introduce yourselves right? I am simply being polite enough to respond. Sadly that is something an imbecile such as yourself wouldn't understand."

 

I am speaking the truth. Damn lizards only have around 20 to 40 chromosomes. That makes it damn understandable that they wouldn't understand it. 

 

"HUH? THE F*CK YOU SAY YOU LITTLE SH*T?" 

 

"Aiya, getting angry about every word I say. You sure are a one of a kind lizard."

 

Wait one of a kind? No that's not right. I remember a guy in a popular aneme that got angry about every little thing. What was his name again? Bakagu? Yes! That was it. To be honest it's no wonder he gets angry about every single word. I would be the same if my parents named me Bakagu. 

 

"YOU WANNA FIGHT?" 

 

Here we go again... I guess it's time to teach this lizard a lesson. 

 

"Sure, Ummm captain? Could you let us fight? We can finish this children introduction later."

 

"HAhah! Sure! Try not to destroy the ship though!"

 

~Serious mode activated~

 

We stood opposite each other. Ready to strike and fight till one of us could no more. 

 

*Megalovania insert* (Just for fun)

 

I unsheathed my bone sword. The sheath was made from the leather of some monsters back on the island.

 

A dark golden energy enveloped the sword. The same applied to my eyes. A stream of golden energy flowed out of my right eye. Power surged through my body and a smirk formed on my face. I stood motionless in my fighting stance. Looking at the lizard with a twisted smile.

 

Lizard had his giant kanabō in his hand and was ready to strike. He looked at me with disdain. He was trying to mock me. A big mistake...

 

"Raimei Hakke" Is what the lizard yelled as he charged towards me at high speed. Soon after he swung his weapon horizontally with great force.

 

I stood still. Waited patiently as the weapon came closer and closer. I stepped backwards. The weapon missed by an inch. 

 

Hehe, It's time to show you a trick I somehow learned after defeating Kitty cat.

 

My right eye started to release more energy than before. Behind me, four tiger skulls appeared. Their eyes were the same color as mine; dark gold. Golden flames erupted from their bones. They were moving in a circular pattern behind me. Two of them flew towards the Lizard and opened their mouths, a golden ball started to form radiating of energy. 

 

They fired the balls towards Lizard. The balls had turned into beams of energy and were directed to Lizard at devastating speed. 

 

Because Lizard is so big he couldn't manage to dodge the beams and got hit. He was barely scratched... The f*ck is this guy made off? 

 

The others two skulls also flew towards Lizard and started to fire energy beams. Agh! This really excites me. 

 

I started to smile like I did during the 'GAM'... Oh wait. You guys don't know what that is. It is the Great American Massacre. It was when I first made my debut. I massacred tens of thousands of them. Hearing their screams was so satisfying and exciting. It was when I singlehandedly massacred a big part of the 'Titan' named U.S.A. It was so exciting...

 

I started to turn back into the 'demon' I was back on Earth. I was different for a while... Heh, a couple of years in solitude sure do change you...

 

I lifted my arm and held my hand in the sky. I pointed towards Lizard and numerous bones appeared and started to fly towards him at high speed. 

 

He can't do sh*t to me while he is busy dodging hyper beams and a hurricane of bones. As the hyper beams and Hurricane of bones were busy attacking Lizard I was charging up an attack that I was sure could harm him.

 

My bone sword was radiating an extremely strong form of energy and was coated in Busoshoku. My twisted smile grew bigger and bigger...

 

It was time. 

 

The Tiger skulls were preparing a devastating blow and the hurricane of bones was continuously attacking Lizard, giving him no chance to attack me nor defend himself against me.

 

I disappeared from where I stood. . .

 

A cold breeze passed by.

 

It was silent for a solid second. Absolutely no sound was made. 

 

I appeared in front of Lizard. 

 

And just as I appeared, I disappeared just as quick. . .

 

I appeared at the place I stood before. I sheathed my sword.

 

Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru

 

*Megalovania end*

 

That was one of the only Japanese sentences I remember. I saw some jokes on the internet and learnt it from there.

 

. . .

 

Blood came spurting out of Lizard's wound. The skulls and the bones disappeared...

 

A big cross like wound could be seen on Lizard's waist. He was kneeling.

 

I walked towards him and stopped in front of him. I smirked.

 

"Are you feeling it now? Mr. Kaido." 

 

"Sadly enough you couldn't use your lizard form. Oh well, this just states how pathetic you really are."

 

I defeated the lizard. He was weak... Or am I strong? Heh it doesn't matter..

 

Time to continue this damned introduction...

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