Tea party (1)
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Hello there. It is I, Zelos. I must say this week was rather… fun. Ahhh it still excites me thinking about it. Are you prepared to read about it? Hehe good, Shall we begin then?




Hehe, here we are again. On this damned boat… doing absolutely nothing. I mean seriously! This is so f*cking boring. Of course it's fun when we arrive at an island or when we fight marines or other pirates but sailing itself is so boring!


The New world may have extreme weathers and climates but those are extremely easy to survive in.


Anyways, right now we are going to an island. I don't know what its name is but I sure am hoping that it will be interesting. 


We did encounter some marines ships and pirate ships on the way and we demolished them until there was nothing left. Of course I had my share in it.


Blah blah blah, days went by and nothing happened. The idiots here were drunk most of the time and did absolutely nothing but scream and sing. 


Shake my head. Drinking is bad for you, you know? It damages your brain and makes you do weird stuff…


Don't ask me how I know that.


We were three days away from the island. We stopped by another island. It was a pretty big island and there was a pretty big city on it. So we took a break and everyone went their own way. 


Captain Stone said that we will be here for two days so we could 'enjoy' our time here.


I decided to go to an auction house. There was supposed to be a big auction tonight, hence I decided to take a look. The receptionist said that I had to wait four hours until it began… 


F*CK. I don't have the patience to wait for four F*CKING hours. Well I actually do but I just don't want to be patient. Who in God's name would ever want to choose patience over fun?


I certainly won't.. 


So I decided to take a nap. I went back to the ship and just slept.






When I woke up a total of three hours and forty five. I tread towards the auction house with a half dead expression on my face. This town was so… well behaved? It was extremely quiet… 


Perhaps because of the auction? Or is it a ghost town? No that's not it… There streets were full of people three hours ago. Hmm.. I can feel their presence? It seems they are hiding? Maybe some dangerous pirates arrived? Or monsters?


Ahh, who cares? This isn't some horror movie. Or is it?


I headed to the auction house. 


Once I arrived there were dozens of people. I guess the majority of the townspeople are here. There seem to be more guards then when I came here before? Hehe did some bigshot arrive? I certainly hope so…


I could have so much fun with them… I paid the entry fee and entered the auction house.


There were lots of seats and the house was already full of people. 


And guess what? I was right. There is indeed a big shot. Apparently these guys are called Celestial Dragons. They are the 'rulers' of the world.


When I first heard of them I personally thought that they were strong. But boy oh boy was I wrong. These 'Celestial Dragons' are even weaker than a f*cking child. They are also arrogant and so much more.


Although, this does make me want to cripple all of them even more…


Sooooo, that's exactly what I am going to do. 

The Celestial Lizard was accompanied by marines. The strongest among them must be at Vice-admiral level. 


Pretty weak for me… Although it does make it easier for me to kidnap the Celestial Lizard.


Hehe, that will wait for after the auction though. 


I wonder what kind of items will show up…




It began. Lights went on and a lady came up. For the average male she would be considered 'attractive'. She had long purple hair and I would say F sized melons.


Heh, I am going to be honest with you. Those 'melons' are a delicacy. They taste like marshmallows and meatballs combined. If you were ever given the chance to slaughter someone of the female gender. I strongly advise eating them.


Anyways, she began to talk.


"Welcome everyone, To Ligma's auction house."


"Today we have a few special items so stay tuned!" She smiled. It seemed like she could vomit rainbows and spew out butterflies.


Blagh! That girl has too much positivity… 


Anyways, the auction went on, miscellaneous items and accessories came and went. There were some 'ancient' items. Obviously, most of them were just frauds and looked like cheap rip offs that are 'Made in China' but who cares? It's not my money.


There were a few weapons being sold but none of them were worthy of my attention. I mostly focussed on the movements of the marines and the 'Celestial' Lizard, who was currently being accompanied by some ladies.


Tsk tsk tsk. The bastard probably forced them.


I kept irritating myself because of the 'Celestial' Lizard. The auction went on and on until it reached its final stage


"Ladies and gentlemen, We have reached the final stage! Now let's begin." She shouted, Swinging her assets from side to side as the first item came on stage.


I am going to be honest… I am 100 percent sure. That she is either a wh*re or born this way.


If she is a wh*re then I don't feel sorry for her. BUT if she is born this way then I feel sorry for her and may God bless her in her next life, Amen.


"The first item is a weapon called 'Madu'. It is said to even rival the 12 supreme grade weapons!" (A/N: Madu is a weapon from ancient India if you want to see how it looks just look it up.)


Ah... those things. I heard Stones and that drunkard swordsman talk about them before. They are supposed to be extremely good swords.


But in my opinion. They are just swords. Just like any other. Why is one sword better than another? They all just break eventually. So why try to have 'better' swords? Just because they look better and cooler?


I have never seen such bullsh*t before. (Lies)


Anyways, this weapon is obviously a scam. It may look like some ancient weapon but in reality it's just an ordinary weapon.


People began to bid like crazy and it was eventually sold for 50 million beli. For someone from Earth 50 million may be a big number but apparently it's not that big here. I heard there were people with so called 'Bounties'. Some bounties easily exceed 50 million.


I too had a bounty back on Earth. It was around five hundred million euros I think?  


(Fun fact: I actually researched what the highest bounty on Earth is, From what I could find its this, Russia is offering $50 million for information that would lead those responsible for planting a bomb on a plane that blew up above Egypt, killing 224 people, including 209 Russians)


It's not as high as some bounties here but who cares?


Now that I think about it... do I have a bounty in this world?


Heh, I will look into it after the auction and my fun.


Anyways, it seems the next item will show up now. Let's see what they have in store for us.


"Ladieees and Gentlemen! Here we are again! The next item was found in the same temple as the Madu! It's radiates an even stronger aura than that of the Madu! Here it is, The Khopesh!" (A weapon from Ancient Egypt. Look it up to find out more about it.)


"Let the bidding begin! We have a starting price of one million beli!"


It looked pretty cool, I suppose. It is indeed better than that other scrappy weapon. I estimate that it's size is around 50 to 60 centimeters. It is a thick, crescent-shaped blade. The inside of the hook is not sharpened but the outer part has a single cutting edge. When I was in Egypt I saw some portraits of Pharaohs with these weapons. 


What is it doing here though? Is there an Egyptian civilization here? Is there an Indian civilization here?


Hehe, I will uncover these secrets later on. For now, I will enjoy living to the fullest. 


Anyways, the auction went on and a couple more weapons were shown. Among others, a zweihaender, a hunga munga, a chakram and a sodegarami.


Apparently all of them were found in an ancient temple on an island that randomly appeared a few years back. 


Oh! You must be wondering how I know of these weapons? Right? No? Hais, youngsters these days. 


I will explain it anyways. Back on Earth, I was chased to the end of the world. I had been to countless nations and seen their cultures. I also took an interest in fighting without guns but with medieval or even older weapons, hence I started studying at times I wasn't being followed. 


Interesting right? No? Hehe, I know that it's not interesting. I am just trying to annoy you guys.


Anyways, the auction went by and I ended up winning two of the said weapons, the chakram and the khopesh. They are the only weapons useful for battle. In my opinion at least. 


Now that the auction has ended. 




𝗜𝘁'𝘀 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝘂𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗴𝗶𝗻.