0215, Day 173, Month 5.
“I’ve been here for more than five months, so does that mean a day already passed outside?
No, wait. One day should have passed last month. The equivalent of two years here is five days outside. That means it takes 4.8 months here to complete one cycle of the sun and moon in the outside world.
That should make some sense.”
As usual, I am lying down again in a white floor with my shadow as my only companion. It has been more than five months since all of the weird events in my life happened all at once. Well, I am still alive so that’s not something I should be depressed about.
The gravity is still increasing. And it is increasing geometrically. Meaning that when it was 0927, the gravity doubles, which I called it 2x. But every month passes, the number multiplies by two. When it was 1027: it went 4x, 1127, it went 8x, 1227: it grew to 16x, and in 0127, it went up to 32x.
That is the current gravitational force I am experiencing right now. Who would have thought that my bones can hold it in. But the main problem is if it continues to grow more. There are nineteen more months remaining until I come back outside. If that happens, this room will definitely kill me without leaving any trace of my existence. This is a very dangerous and lethal room if I think rationally.
▪ ▪ ▪
“Good grief, I haven’t written anything on the journal. Why of all days!
Let’s see… Where is my pen…”
Even though this room is so bare, I still can’t find a mere pen. It’s not like I’m finding a needle in a hay stack, but the complete opposite of it. If you’re in this room, it’s like everything is floating on mid-air and you can easily see the things you need.
“Now, this is great. I lost a pen in a place where there is almost a hundred percent that you will never lose anything here.”
To avoid too much disappointment, I grabbed all of the notebooks where all my daily journals are written starting from 0827. I have already filled three of the amount that the base sent me. I opened the very first one where it tells what happened in the first two months of my stay here. I can hardly even recall what I wrote at those times.
0829, Day 3.
I discovered that any unpleasant things in this room disappear after 24 hours. You wouldn’t want to know the kind of observations I did yesterday and today.
0916, Day 21.
I can move better now, but the pain has not lessened. I really need to patiently wait for one year and six months.
1003, Day 38.
I can stand with more ease after the gravity changed six days ago. I should expect it to increase more in the next months.
~ ~ ~
I moved on to the next notebook where it covered the time when it was 1027 up to 1226.
1031, Day 66.
I’m writing this because I still can’t easily move. It is very difficult to adapt to the changes. Just like how it is outside. But the world is the one who is adapting to the men’s desires and it is slowly killing the whole world.
1117, Day 83.
If only there is at least just one chance, I want to see the people I left behind a few months ago. My family, my friends and people I know in general. I want to see them all even if it is just for once in the duration of my stay here.
1129, Day 95.
I did say to Hiro and Sean that I want this experience to bear a fruit and at least give me a change. But I haven’t seen any changes in me. Maybe I’m being a bit too eager to see changes, but I need to remember that it will happen in the right time. I just don’t know when will the right time be. I should avoid losing my patience.
1208, Day 104.
I think it’s still Monday outside. I wonder if the two already told my family about what happened to me. I also wonder what my friends are doing right now. Maybe they are already eating lunch right now without me. I hope they won’t get lonely without me when they are eating on that table because there is one vacant seat. Actually, will they ever get lonely when I'm not there?
0124, Day 151.
I still think I’m doing something wrong. There is probably something that I’m not doing to achieve what I wanted. I once said that I’m in a journey where I don’t know my destination will be. That journey has already started but after it began. I suddenly can’t move. I can’t walk nor run. I’m just stagnant in one place. I never once took a step forward, because I think I can’t see the real purpose of this.
0214, Day 172.
Still nothing. I can’t find any piece of the puzzle. Not even one. How am I supposed to find them? I think I’m losing the purpose of my life now. I can’t say the word “normal” anymore. I think I’m not stagnant. I think I’m falling in a chasm. My progress may as well be declining.
Will there be a time where the closest people to me will forget me, or will there be a time where I will suddenly forget about the time I treasured the most?
My tears slowly fell down on their own. I can’t stop it.
“I… I want to curse myself…
What… W-What did I do wrong…?
Why can’t I find the goal I wanted to achieve? Where can I find the way that will make me move? Where…?
WHERE?!?! Whatever it is, bring it to me right now, you cruel world!
Make me bleed…
Kill… Kill me, you piece of a rotten world!
Kill me every single second, kill me every time you want until you’re satisfied!
You wouldn’t want me to live right? Then do it right now!
Just do it!!!
You stained world…
All I just want is to see them… See the ones I love the most…
But now I am imprisoned in this room where no can see me nor can I see them…”
Who are they…
Who are those people who I want to see…?
Why am I not yet dead…
I have forgotten their names and faces…
Why am I still not dead?!
I don’t even know who I am anymore…
There is just one thing that I can do.”
“Who… Who are you?!
Don’t interrupt! I-I’m giving myself the reward I deserve!”
Stop. If you let me take over you, just for once… You can go back to normal.
“Whoever you are, you shut up! Do you even know me?! Do you even know my pain?!”
Yes I do, of course. Because you—you are me and I am you. Drop the knife now, we don’t want to have regrets. Please.
“Regrets? What do you mean…? Regret is the reason why my life is like this! It’s all because of the pain and suffering that the cruel humans gave me. They are heartless. Why didn’t they even kill me that time? What is even the reason?!
Do you know how it feels to regret living?! Do you know how much I regret growing up like this disgusting human?!”
Just forget about it. It’s all in the past. What is more important is that you are living right now. So don’t waste it. I will disappear if you do.
“Then so be it…! Disappear with me!”
You’re right. If you disappear, I will disappear too. If you want to be dyed in black, so be it. I won’t stop you anymore.
Don’t regret this act of despair once everything is done…
Just remember that people are waiting for you to come home.
After that shout came a burst of blood to the white flooring of the room. Gin slashed himself from his right shoulder down to his lower left side that made him fall to the floor that has already stained by the blood from his chest. But before he lost his consciousness, with his blood-stained finger on his right hand, he wrote on the open notebook the word “void”.
▪ ▪ ▪
Hello again. Awake now?
It’s too late for you. You’re already planted to the floor when you came back to your senses.
If you still can’t understand what I am saying, then stop.
If you do… then open your eyes.
Now enjoy what you’re about to see.
Gin finally woke up and opened up his eyes. But he is still lying with his body lying prone on the floor.
Did I fall asleep in a very random time-
What was that nasty smell?”
As he was trying to stand up, he felt a strong pain in his chest as if it was being stabbed continuously by a sharp object.
After he finally took balance in his body, not thinking of the pain on his body, he immediately saw the room changed.
What in the world? What is happening here…
“W-why is the room… black…?”
It looks just as what I have said. The room is complete pitch black. Except that this is not something you could call darkness. I can still see myself but I don’t have any shadow. I guess this is what you can really call…
“Void.” I gazed upon the notebook on the black floor.
The four walls, the ceiling, and the floor are all black. But everything I had, for example my bag, I can still see it clearly.
“Wait, why is my notebook open… And has blood?
Just what happened?
Rather, how long was I asleep?”
Gin grabbed his clock that was lying on the floor but as soon as he crouched he felt the strong pain lingering again in his torso.
0218, Day 176.
“I… I was asleep for three days?
I started to feel more pain in my torso and it has gotten harder to breathe for me. I reached out to my chest just to feel more pain as I was touching it.
It was a wound. A very big wound.
“Seeing that my right hand has blood, and the knife is lying on the floor stained with blood…”
There is only one conclusion I can think of. And it was the worst.
“I probably wounded myself badly, as if I was…
Trying to commit suicide…”
Gin fell to his knees as he was thinking that he did something he never thought he would do. As he was kneeling, everything that happened three days ago finally came back to his mind.
“I… I remembered looking through my logs and started crying… but that’s it. The only thing I can remember after that is writing the word ‘void’ with my blood.
How come that’s the only thing I can remember. It’s certain that I really wounded myself, but why did I do that?”
Thinking through all of the traces of his memory, he can’t seem to find an answer as to why he did that. He has no memory of him slashing his torso but he figured it out because of the things around him.
“I don’t want to think this really did happen that time.
But I think I lost my sanity and had gone insane for a short time.”
What terrified me is that my head seemed to have already sunk in the answer where I got my screw loosen. I am so terrifyingly calm right now. I thought I would be freaking out, but no.
I am just kneeling here, and I can’t feel anything anymore…
Except that my wound is still excruciating.
“I need to treat these quickly. First aid is too late for this…”
He stood up and reached to his bag to get bandages and medicines for healing wounds. After he treated his wounds, he fell asleep again and woke up the next day.
▪ ▪ ▪
0219, Day 177, Month 5.
“Ah. Good grief. I fell asleep again.”
My wound at least doesn’t sting that much anymore, and it is easier for me to move around.
The blood is already gone, as I would expect to happen. I thought this wound is deep as a whole, I feel that the knife penetrated deeply on my shoulder part.
But the room is still the same. It is still covered with an ominous color of black. The blackness of it is as if every color you pair with it won’t have a good contrast to it. It’s like the black is rejecting any color it came in contact.
I felt that the room got hotter but that’s not the case. It’s just that I’m having a very bad fever.
“I need to quickly prepare breakfast, it’s a miracle I’m still alive even when suffering from a wound without eating or drinking for four-
▪ ▪ ▪
0331, Day 217, Month 7.
The room is still black for unknown reasons.
To summarize, what really happened, at 0215, I seemed to almost kill myself and after three days, I woke up with the room all black.
It’s been more than a month after that. The wound in my torso already healed, but I think the scar will last for a very long time. That time, I lost a precious belonging of mine: A shirt. It’s still intact, but a large gaping hole was made because the knife pierced through the cloth.
I will properly wash this once I come back outside.
But, it’s very unbelievable that I lost myself and did something out of my will without my consciousness being present.
Setting that aside, my condition is still getting better. But I still think that there are still lots of cracks in my bones. As what I would expect, it still hurts even with this given time. I guess I can’t escape one and a half years of natural healing process. I will be more patient, Hiro, Sean.
Oh and also, I think there are changes in the gravity. As what I had written in 0227, the gravity went up to 64x and it is really difficult. But I forgot to write that when it hit 0327 a few days ago, it feels like it’s not that heavy but there is still a weight to it.
▪ ▪ ▪
0827, Day 365, Year 2, Month 13.
Today marks that I have already stayed here for a year.
12 months? Who would have thought I will survive this long in this room? Though, the past three months is really rough. In that duration, I lost my sanity again for two more times. Fortunately nothing happened out of the ordinary. No blood, no knife, and no corpse.
I just need to wait for six months until my body fully heals, or so that’s what I think.
I just need to wait for another year and I will be out of here.
Though I won’t say I want to “escape” this room. I’ve been through a lot in the past year and the only thing that saw it was this room. If I say it honestly, I’m deeply attached to this room already. Next year, it will probably be painful to leave this room. It’s really ironic how I complained a lot but now here I am, loving this place like this is my home.
~ ~ ~
I’ve been using these headbands for so long that I didn’t even notice how long my hair is.”
I removed the headband that is keeping my hair from falling down and then my hair exploded everywhere. I don’t have a mirror so I can’t see my face. But in estimate, I would say my hair is at the length down to my chest.
“Longer than Rin’s, huh…
Gin just fell down as he thought of how long his hair is. He was reminded of his friends who are probably in school that time. He let out a sigh and started muttering again.
“Hahh… I missed those guys.
I miss… her…”
▪ ▪ ▪
1027, Year 2, Month 15.
I have lost count on how many days I’ve been here.
Yes, I have turned seventeen today. I aged two years being in this room with no one but my shadow. Well, I can’t even see my shadow because the room is like a blank canvas painted with ink. It’s still pitch black.
I still haven’t made a concrete answer as to why this once white room became black. My assumptions aren’t that clear yet.
My body is healing slowly but steadily. If not because of the so-called regeneration in my skeletal system, I may not heal naturally and perhaps I may not be able to walk for the rest of my life with only a lone limb functioning.
As usual, the gravity is increasing, but since 0327, the amount of how it increases became constant. I think it is safe to assume that from being geometric, the gravitational increase became arithmetic. I guess this room really has mercy and don’t want to kill.
"Are you serious…" at random, I got to feel my chin that had become surprisingly rough. "Is this facial hair…?"
▪ ▪ ▪
1219, Year 2, Month 16.
I am once again looking on my log notebook, specifically at a very bizarre page—Where I wrote only one word on that day with my own blood before passing out.
“Thinking about writing with your own blood is creepy. I should rephrase what I say next time…
I’ve lost my mind for three times already.”
As I was leaning on one of the four walls near the door, I recalled the times where I didn’t have any recollections of what happened. Only relying to tangible evidences, I came to the conclusion that I lost my rational mind for three times.
I am once again talking to myself as if the room itself will give an answer.
“What happened to me has a connection to these changes, right…? If so, this is something I should fix soon, but I don’t know how.
For me, black symbolizes a lot of things. Sometimes it’s my self, darkness, sadness, sorrow, lifelessness, and more.
I do play a lot with colors when I was outside you know. I pretty much describe all of the colors and compare it to life. But black…
I would say that that color is special.”
It probably started when I was five. I’ve gone through a lot despite being at a young age at that time. I was just a brat but it’s painful. That’s probably the first time I felt that my life has no purpose anymore. I was genuinely depressed, but I thankfully came back before even completely falling to a chasm…
But I can’t remember more than that.
I let out a sigh as I’m stretching my arms and I started walking around the room.
I’m just alone in a room where no one is here except me. And here I am talking to nothing about a story of my youth in-“
I suddenly stopped walking with a surprised look on my face as I realized that I’m missing something.
He went back to where his belongings are placed and opened the notebook where he writes his daily entries. He briefly read all of the entries and closed the notebook and sat down.
All this time… Since twelve years ago.
I’ve been running away from everything… up until now, I’m just a coward brat who doesn’t want to face the reality.
I always insist that I want to live a normal life, and thought that if I continuously live a life like that, everything will be fine. But that’s wrong.
The pain, sufferings, and sorrow… They are unavoidable to one’s life. Given that my real self was forcefully hidden with a facade, it’s not a reason to run away. I thought everything was fine while I was growing, but deep within, there is a side of me that wants to escape the facade.
And it came out, losing control, and wanting to disappear because he can’t stop me anymore. I didn’t even think that despair is slowly swallowing me down to the deep dark until I can never move, paralyzed.
If… If not for my mutterings I may just be one step away from completely falling to the abyss and never go back. If I fell to that, I will never see what’s up above anymore. I will be there until I rot and turn back to dust.
But to think that something similar to it saved me…”
I guess these void is not meant to kill people who entered here, but to make them discover the darkness from their roots. This room connects to people whoever they are, and it adapts as to whether a person does change.
“How come have I not realized something like this? I am here for more than a year already, but I just became an ignorant fool who doesn’t even know his own self. Trapped in a useless cycle that will never go to anywhere, I kept walking and walking but I can only see the traces that I left over and over again.”
I finally discovered that my journey wasn’t going anywhere. I’ve lost track even before I started moving.
“Was it because I’m just a ‘failure’ who survived for no reason?
Well, probably not anymore… I’m not different to the Exiles then.”
Once again, I opened a random page of my journal and read the contents of it. I then looked at the ceiling of the black room and thought of the things pertaining to the problem.
“Now, how should I defeat despair…? No. Is that something you could even vanish? I think it’s a part of a human to live in this twisted world.”
Then, how should I let him be free?”
Without Gin even noticing the time, it was already night and he suddenly dozed off to where he was sitting down.
Thank you for finally accepting the real you.
▪ ▪ ▪
The next day.
1220, Year 2, Month 16.
My auto-programmed alarm clock that was set to wake me up every 6 in the morning finally rang to start another morning in the once pure white room.
I guess I nodded off last nig-“
As I wiped my eyes to fix my blurry vision, I saw something I haven’t seen for a very long time. The room is once again in its old glory, returning anew to pure white.
“H-hey… Am I seeing things…?
How long was it since I last saw this?”
▪ ▪ ▪
There are only eight months before the door opens for good. But before that happens, a lot of things had happened in the duration of a year and four months that I can’t enumerate all of them even though I mostly do something light here.
I have just proven that the color black can always be altered. But it can’t disappear once it left its trace.
I finally regained the purpose of my life. There are a lot of people caring for me, and I know that I am worrying them for days now. I can’t always have a normal life. But not being normal doesn’t mean that you can’t exist with those who care for you.
~ ~ ~
“I guess I will be leaving a note on the next opening of the door.”
Tearing a page on his journal, he wrote a note to be received by the underground base once the door closes in 1227.
“Could you send art materials that can supply me until I leave?
P.s. No papers, please.”
“If not for writing entries everyday, I may practice handwritings again after eight months. Wait, I need to study again after I leave. I forgot that I am still a fourth year in junior high school even though I’m already 17.
That means that I’m still a student once I go back. What a pain…
I guess I should draw again, firstly.”
▪ ▪ ▪
0227, Year 2, Month 19.
It was said that my body will fully heal because it is already one and a half year since I had gone through rehabilitation. I would say, the pain is really going away quicker a few weeks ago.
But my right arm still hurts the most since that was the most damaged part of my limbs. One and a half year is only an approximate count of time. I should expect my right arm in bandages after the remaining months here.
▪ ▪ ▪
0401, Year 2, Month 20.
It’s really a bummer that my sketches and paintings last only between three to seven days. But I guess using the room as a giant sketchpad wasn’t a bad idea after all.
I lost my touch because of not drawing for more than a year. And to retain it for four months is very difficult.
I guess I will be drawing until 0827.
Also, it’s bad to do a prank if I’m alone here acting crazy. Or should I say I’m already crazy?
Anyways, I think my body is 95% healed... except for my right arm, of course. It’s still the only one covered with bandages.
I exercise everyday and does jogging and sometimes sprinting. Jumping exercises is also necessary for vertical leaping.
As I am writing, I realized something. If I finally go outside, how will my body react? I’m so used to a very heavy gravity and it’s currently 90x. Since I move a bit slower here because of my slow adaptation, does that mean I will also slowly adapt to how light it will be outside? Am I going to become a speedster?
More importantly, can humans really take this much gravity?
▪ ▪ ▪
0611, Year 2, Month 22.
I finally made my drawing senses return to me.
But something has happened to me at the middle of the day. My right eye started to hurt and it still hurts as I’m writing right now. My vision also became blurry sometimes, but only in my right eye. My left eye is fine though.
I only have more than two months to spend here and I want it to be a time where I will definitely remember this place once the door opens.
▪ ▪ ▪
0708, Year 2, Month 23.
I guess this should do it.”
What is in front of Gin is a painting. A painting that he never once believed that he could ever finish, an artwork made from the top corner to the very bottom corner of one of the four walls of the room. The painting displays a landscape of a scenery where it is something you describe as tragic. It was a barren wasteland filled with nothing but destruction and cruelty.
“A dystopia… no. The world in one big mural, huh.
Soon, I will be back to that world where it will give pain more than I can comprehend. Even though it’s like that, there’s still a place waiting for me. For that, I am very glad. Even if that place is a bloody world, there is still a place I can consider ‘home’—where my family and friends belong there, with me.
I also belong to that home. That home where I can once again feel the real happiness I’m searching for. It’s almost at my reach again. It’s not necessary to live the life to the fullest.
One of my teachers once said, “You can have fun, but keep the moderation in mind.” Too much happiness can only bring sadness.
I took four pails of paint and aligned it in front of the mural. Once again, I looked at the painting.
“Ugh. It’s such a waste. I’ve finally surpassed Piano of Tragedy so this will kind of hurt…”
He grabbed the first bucket to its handle and bombed the whole content of it to the painted wall. He repeated it three more times seeing that there are four pails of present.
“White. This is you—‘The Room of Reality’.
Blue. You are the sky—that was once glorious but covered with clouds of rain that led me to here.
Silver. This is me, my only trace here. I don’t care if this trace will ever disappear.
Black. You were once my despair. But now you are free from it. You are me, and I am you. Got that? You are silver again.
I will soon be home.”
▪ ▪ ▪
0727, Year 2, Month 24.
This is finally the last month.
I think I’m still going to wear bandages once I got out.
I’m focused on exercising right now to maintain my shape. I think I got a lot taller in this duration.
▪ ▪ ▪
0803, Year 2, Month 24.
I will end my physical activities in 0813 so I will have two weeks of rest and then I will pack up whatever I can pack.
My entries are really full in the past, but I can’t seem to fill it anymore with a lot of words now.
▪ ▪ ▪
0810, Year 2, Month 24.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Omae wa mou shindeiru.
▪ ▪ ▪
0814, Year 2, Month 24.
I wonder if I can reproduce the three days I hibernated.
▪ ▪ ▪
0817, Year 2, Month 24.
words like tomorrow or future or fate no matter how far they extend their hands we breathe we dream we raise our love in a timeless land that is far out of reach even the second hour hands of the clock they look at us sideways as they tick and tock how I hope to have forever to spend this life no our future lives right here in this world with you
These are lyrics from a song I really liked. I can’t bother to put punctuations because I can’t think of anything to fill the remaining days.
Actually, it’s really surprising that I still knew the lyrics of one song after two years.
▪ ▪ ▪
0824, Year 2, Month 24.
Three days left. I’m all packed up and I literally had nothing to do anymore except for eating three times a day.
▪ ▪ ▪
0825, Year 2, Month 24.
Do you know da wae?
▪ ▪ ▪
0826, Year 2, Month 24.
I ate breakfast, then ate lunch and intentionally slept for seven hours. It is now around 10pm.
This will be the last 24 hours and 30 minutes in this room. I’m not planning on sleeping anymore because I already hibernated long enough.
I wonder how coffee will react to my constitution again.
Well, see you on the next page.
▪ ▪ ▪
0827, The Last.
For the very last time, The air got a bit denser and the gravity went up again.
“So this is 100x, huh.”
~ ~ ~
Here I am just sitting right in front of the soon to be opening door together with three bags beside me. The first bag contains the clothes I had in my stay. The two bags mainly contained all of my journals.
~ ~ ~
“I burnt through all of my stock of food already (in my belly) except for the beef here. I think I should make it as a steak since this is the last day of my rather eventful stay here…
Wait, steak for breakfast, steak for lunch, and steak for dinner…
Screw it. It’s cheat day today.”
~ ~ ~
“I was out for five days outside. What could be the things I missed in those times, I wonder. I have no idea what could have happened in that duration
I also missed some episodes and chapters, huh…
I really need to do some catching up.”
~ ~ ~
“I hope my family was really notified about what happened to me since I said I want them to spill everything. The underground base is an unknown location that no one from the outside knows, so I guess they will only tell to the principal that I was hit by truck and hospitalized.
I’m kind of worried of what excuse did Hiroomi or Sean told Nagi and the others as to why I’m absent for five days. I guess the only way to find out is to wait for Monday.
Actually, how should I spend the weekend?”
~ ~ ~
“I think I’ll wear the gray sweater they sent to me a few months ago. I haven’t worn it since ages because the temperature here is constant in approximately 20 degrees. Well, I consider it cold already but there is no wind here so it’s not that cold.
My hair is also really long. I should tie it up.
~ ~ ~
“Exactly one hour, huh. I guess this will almost be the conclusion of the two years I spent here.
So the time will almost be in sync later. I wonder if what is the time outside and are they already waiting for me? Man, I’m like a time traveler. The main difference is I didn’t travel in time though. I just kind of broke the laws of time by disappearing from the outside world and entered this accelerated room.”
I’m actually growing a bit impatient now. Just a few more and the doors will open. I should occupy my head with something to lessen the boredom.
“Hmm… Think… Think… Think… Think… Red… Red… Apples… Apples… Apples… Silver… Silver… Silver Apple… Silver Apple… Silver Apple…
Rin… Rin… Rin… Rin… Rin… Rin… Rin… Rin… Rin… Rin…”
“Uh-oh… Can it please stop?”
It won’t stop cycling in my head. Whatever I do or whatever I think of, it remains and keeps echoing inside my head like a broken tape.
“So it finally came to this point huh…
~ ~ ~
”Man, the entry for today is still bare. I wonder what I should write, though there are only five minutes left. I better make this quick.
I really can’t think of anything…
So that’s the only thing I could write, then.”
Instead of using a pen, he took a marker from his bag and started writing on the final page of the final journal.
He closed the journal and placed it inside the bag where all of the notebooks are all placed. He grabbed the three bags and stood up, ready for the door to open.
Now I’m getting sleepy.
~ ~ ~
“This is it…”
A sound of beeping came from the watch he had for already two years. It is finally the time and the slow sound of the door creaking is giving Gin a suspense that is making him really nervous to the point that his heart may just escape from his mouth.
Once again, the view of the midpoint room is on his sight but the door beyond is still not open but unlocked.
Gin, who had spent two years in an unknown, pure white room, is finally walking and stepping outside it.
Finally at the front of the door of the midpoint room, he twisted the doorknob slowly and silently.
~ ~ ~
0827, The Last. September 1, 2017.
“Goodbye to you, Room of Reality.
I will be going home now.”