Fate is ever changeable, unpredictable. That day when I collected my things, I never guessed the mess it stored for me.
At the end of the first university semester, after the long hours of intensive studying, I longed for my first return home, for my first visit to my family. The slight bickering with my siblings, the warm banter. The face of my parents. And the tender smile of my grandmother.
The yearning ate at my heart. The sudden separation ravaged all the reasons that caused my absence. As if those couple of months were a trip to the netherworld. Yet I couldn't accept the defeat. In this period, I never tasted the flavor of comfort or the pleasure of rest, always studying to succeed.
My girlfriend Anna, I informed her about my desire to take her with me, to introduce her to my family, but sadly the illness that her father suddenly discovered, played a part in her decision to not travel the long-distance and to stay beside him.
Anna Marchetti, the slender young girl with smiley lips, a long brown air, and a face painted with inharmonious freckles. I knew her before my first time coming into this city. Haphazardly, our friendship began years ago. Who could think an old-fashioned letter exchange will foster a long relationship?
She has grown up to become one of the most charming women I had the chance to talk to.
A nice old Victorian house was her home, near the campus. My frequent visits to her home sustained my unbearable homesickness, charged my soul with determination. It gave me the power to resist the drama of another day. Spending some time away from the university's up and downs life turned a blessing hard to come by.
A few months ago, we started to get close. Since my arrival, since seeing her face for the first time. The big city never felt foreign. Then things developed rapidly, and now we are officially going out.
I stood in the railway station, checking my luggage, preparing the ticket, the time of my expected tripe approached near. Suddenly, Someone startled me from behind, wrapped arms circled my torso, tightly hugged my back. The sensation was familiar. When I turned back, I guessed right. It was the frail figure of Anna that greeted my eyes.
Accompanied by her ten-year-old brother, Liam looked exactly like his older sister, a tiny child version of her. The freckles light and brownish sealed their blood kinship.
Intensely observing her face, I could see the redness surrounding her eyes, the trace of tears rendered her visage shyer. The impression that she was crying all night, the only thing my logic worked up.
My breath halted at the entrance of my lungs. A sort of pity sipped into my chest, I felt my heart filled up with some kind of tenderness, at the same time, a load of appreciation for her will.
I knew her… and I knew how strong she is… I also know how hard the situation was. Not only on her but all her family…
From the moment the reality slapped her face, I was there; I stood beside her. Right now, she needed some time alone with her family… and I respect that.
In a failed attempted to seem fine, the intensity of her hug tightened, the force of her feeling transpired through the contact. Nevertheless, for her, it wasn't enough unless she poured me with hot bouquets of farewells and kisses. Demanding with a melodic voice, to deliver to my family, the same kind of hot bouquets of greetings and tributes instead of her.
The truth was: she never met my family; She didn't know who they were? All for the sake of my personnel selfish reasons. In contrast, my family also oblivious to her existence.
Actually, my family was oblivious to a lot of things that concerned me. Only the keeper of my secrets, the bearer of my egocentrism, my elder sister, aware of many things of my private matters. About where I am, About the major, I chose, About Anna. though not about us going out.
My elder sister and Anna got the chance to meet, just for one time. Anna accompanied me to receive her at the airport. It was long ago when I was new to the city and did not precisely could find my way around the streets.
At that time Anna was my savior, an angel descended to guide my step and help in my installation. A blessing was to have someone like Anna, in one of the biggest cities, in a place that you don't know anything about. Where you have no support...
The bell rung, its sound reverberated. The next moment, the train started its long trip. To the far east, I was heading.
Searching for my cabin, the shaking toyed with my balance. And here there the door. I chose a seat near the window after carefully placing my luggage.
the city sceneries cascaded faster and faster, I closed my eyes for relief, waiting for the sensation of the rhythmic movements of the train to flow within my body.
Yet somehow I recalled all the scenes of our goodbye, how emotional it was, despite that my visit to my hometown wasn't going to take long. We were saying farewell like we are never going to see each other again.
I opened my eyes, looking at the glass of the window. I could see the reflection of the fainted profile of my two companions when they entered.
***
The same way I came to this big city, the same way I am returning to my hometown. After a long absence… I don't know how to describe my yearning. A lot of things had changed, I have changed, as a person… and as a man…
My relationship with my father… wasn't the best. It has its ups and downs. We had, and we still probably will have plenty of differences, in ideas, in the style that we see and understand the world, but my stay in a different environment, I came to appreciate even to such a small extent my father's point of view, and I erased a big deal of my false assumptions on the world and on how it should work.
The success I had achieved in my study was a prize for my own growth and efforts. I decided to bring this happy news of my hard work with me and inform my family of my achievements personally.
Right now, the railway is at its top speed, and in the blink of an eye, I perceived the line that marks the end of the urban area and the beginning of the Grassland with its winter white dress that has started to melt. It was very long since I took the time to appreciate the natural beauty of the earth without the disturbance of the filthy hands of humans. This scene always made me lose contact with my reality. How much I wished that I could show this majestic spectacle to Anna, even in a set of pictures…
I was never good at socializing, neither I was a smooth talker, and it seemed that my two companions were very much like me. They hadn't spoken a word since the moment they have entered the cabin. Honestly, I was glad for that because they looked exactly like the type of people that I would pretend that I didn't see in the street. Yet the glances that they exchange between each other from time to time got me nervous. Like they are hiding something…
After four hours, I got startled by the train whistle as it announced our arrival at the station. It was the time of sunset and the darkness begin to spread bit by bit. And to my amazement, in my town, there was no trace of snowfall, only the frigid wind that pierced through my thick coat when I left the station. The roads were wet and vacuous, giving me the sensation as if I were in a horror movie. Yes, this is my town and how I remember it.
I stood near my luggage waiting for a cab or any carriage to pass, but unfortunately, there was nothing. It was eight PM when I decided to carry my baggage and walk silently in misery. The station wasn't very far from my house, about one hour of walking. Finding my way through empty, silent streets with almost no light was somehow depressing, also the cold wind and my heavy luggage didn't make the trip easy.
But the moment I recognized the twigs of the grape tree that hides the entrance to my house all my weariness vanished.
Oh, home sweet home… I finally have come back.
I promised myself to sleep for 24 hours when I reach my bed…
I stormed toward the old wooden door with the big metal knob, leaving my luggage behind and I knocked using all the force that resided in me without rest just like soldiers who are going to break in.
I caught a small noise behind the door, so I stopped knocking, then I heard a childlike voice asking: "Who is it?..."
I smiled happily, and I thought to myself, "so finally, Fayina is big enough to answer the door,". Trying to not make my voice very high, I told her: "Fayina!... Open the door, this is your big brother."
The one who opened the wooden door wasn't Fayina, The one who opened the door was my mother…
The look of surprise on her face was priceless. It was mixed with longing and a bit of blame. I found myself unconsciously wrapping my arms around her for a deep, long hug.
