"Guilt is the source of sorrows.

The avenging fiend that follows us behind

with whips and stings."

-Unknown

---

A few minutes earlier:

All Might was incredibly worried for Young Midoriya if he was honest. All for One's words... They were incredibly foreboding, even predicting the death of a young lady who was most likely his mother. The thought made him grit his teeth with suppressed rage because not only had this man manipulated a young man who desired nothing more than to be a hero, he had also sentenced his mother to death to 'complete his masterpiece'.

(That was also ignoring the fact that Young Midoriya's current condition was partially his fault.

He just didn't want a promising youth to die in the pursuit of aimless dreams. That was all he wanted.

So why did it turn out like this?)

He immediately ordered some of his fellow (unoccupied) heroes to go out and stop this tragedy in the cradle, but he feared that it was already too late. For all that the Symbol of Evil delighted in causing misery and hardship, even going as far as to point out his plans at times, he never released crucial information from his grasp until it was far too late for anyone to do anything. And sure enough...

"...Sir, we regret to inform you that..."

"Midoriya Inko is dead, is she?" Rage bubbled in his veins, but more than that, there was a feeling of defeat. He was supposed to be the Symbol of Peace, capable of protecting everyone! But, he was just a human, in the end. Somedays that comforted him, but now it just served to make him frustrated. He didn't let it show on his face, though. He must always smile. "...What about the boy? Take me to him."

"A boy? ...There's wasn't anyone at the scene of the crime besides Miss Midoriya herself."

All for One started to laugh, long and hard the moment he heard the news. In truth, there were a couple of ways Deku could have reacted to the situation, especially considering his unique mental condition. He could break down permanently, or maybe even kill himself. Or he could rise to the challenge and seek vengeance. Out of all the three possible outcomes, the last was the only one that would let All for One achieve his goals.

This whole thing was one massive gamble, to put it in simple terms.

A massive gamble on Deku's character itself. He had always been a resilient, adaptive one, so the chances of him going insane were rather low. Rather, it was his brain itself that made him suffer. Always thinking into things a little too much and hurting himself so much. That was his modus operandi. Controversially, this also made the chances that he would kill himself increase exponentially.

He thought a bit too much, after all, and no matter how adaptive he was, if he decided living wasn't worth the guilt...

He wouldn't hesitate to bid farewell to the world forever.

The final option, vengeance, was rather questionable because of that accursed kindness of his. Well, saying that wasn't the right word; even the most benevolent sage would go berserk the moment his or her family was threatened, needless to say, murdered. No, what All for One was worried about most was his disturbingly, nauseatingly, high sense of morality and justice.

The boy might, just might, view the whole thing as his fault, and simply take it as the retribution that he deserved.

(In truth, All for One was thinking into things a little too much. It was true that Deku deeply regretted killing the lady, or rather, Yuutsu Jihi, and saw the whole scenario as his fault. It would have been perfectly fine if he was the one slain as retribution, or even if he was tortured.

But harming, killing his mother was a whole other thing that he could never forgive. Perhaps if it was the Izuku who had never killed a person or an Izuku that had never seen the world's many evils. Maybe, just maybe, he would view the whole thing as appropriate retribution and leave himself to just wallow around in misery. He wouldn't be able to act on the hypocrisy. It would just be left as an eye for an eye.

A heart for a heart.

But he wasn't that Izuku. Not anymore. He was Deku now.

And despite how little trickles of kindness and morality remained his essence, he was still rotten. That was an unquestionable truth.)

But now, it seemed that his little gamble had paid off!

 

In the remains of a ruined and destroyed city, only the ecstatic laughs of a man like a god and the anxiety-fueled shouts of a man too small to fill the role he found himself in remained. No, he fit his role perfectly, but he wasn't just the role. That made him suffer. It made many suffer.

'Only in apathy will you find true freedom.'

(But do you really lose it if you bind yourself in chains of your own making?

Who knows? Or rather, the question should be...

Was there any right answer to being with?)

---

Days melded into each other as time passed at the speed of light. Deku was on his 11h target now.

He flipped down from the ceiling, dragging his knife across his foe's artery. He watched on emotionlessly as he choked to death on his own blood. Gray similarly swam emotionlessly in the target's sea of thoughts that was quickly drying up, gulping up as much as she could. She swam out, and the body fell lifelessly to the ground. Instead of feeling the guilt grow, or feeling like an awful person, he just felt the evergrowing hum of apathy thud in his veins; the blood that was pumped by his heart was growing corrupted and stale.

(Or maybe it had died the moment his mother was laid to rest in her own heart's blood? He wasn't quite sure when or why.)

No, instead of that, he simply wondered when a new person would expose themselves.

At first, it had been easy. A quick stab there, a bolt of lightning here, and he had quickly racked up kills all the way up to the 4th person. But the members of the Underground weren't stupid; they definitely noticed the long line of their fellows missing. Then, feeling that their pride was being insulted, they targetted him all at once. He shot up straight to his 8th target needed after that little fiasco.

Just when he was feeling lucky, and wishing that they'd come in large swarms, they all disappeared.

After that, it was tremendously annoying to find even one person, let alone bumping it up to fifteen. Over the course of a month, he had only been able to get his total to eleven. Theoretically, Gray had also said that ten would be enough, but it didn't feel like it. The power of the lightning had increased two-fold, but nothing ever felt enough. Thankfully, he had never been one to enjoy killing, so he didn't get wrapped up in the feeling.

{...Izuku, this guy had a lot more thoughts and energy compared to normal. I-... I think I've got all the energy I need.}

His eyes opened wide in pleasant surprise, and even felt the urge to lift his lips up in a smile, but it didn't come. He couldn't smile anymore, it seemed. His face felt like it was stuck. So instead, he nodded uninterestingly. Gray didn't notice anything wrong, simply happy.

(Well, as happy as she possibly could be, considering this little murder spree was primarily her fault.)

While Gray was off in lala land, he forcefully tried to tug his lips up with the muscles in his mouth.

It didn't work.

'...Could it be that this murder spree is making me worse? Even after, mom... died, I was able to force myself to smile when Gray was around. But now, I can't even do that. It's like they are locked in place... Still, it doesn't matter. I just need to get in and kill that little piece of shit, and then the next one and the next one after that...'

He leaned against the wall. He didn't trust himself to stand.

'It feels so awfully futile. Every death just makes me number and number. The only one I can bring myself to still feel true rage for is that man and no-one else. I knew that I would feel this way, eventually. If I fill up on blood, I'll only get emptiness in return. But...'

He repressed the urge to gag.

'It's so much worse than I thought it would be. It reminds me of the time right after I killed her. It's obvious now that it was just trauma.  But in a way... This is worse. Because I'm aware of it. The sheer futility. Even without that, right now, I'm in a greater chasm of apathy.'

He stared at the morning sun, not even realizing that it had been night.

The buildings glowed with a pinkish hue.

'Well, it doesn't matter. None of it matters.'

He turned away, rushing off into the distance, focused on the ever-familiar building in the distance.

'I. Never. Mattered. The only thing that did was mother. And they stole her from me.'

He kicked through the door with a bang.

'So I'll have to steal something from them as well. His most precious thing.'

His eyes were dull and cold.

'His life.'

AN: Yeah. This was exposition.

But it was good exposition. (I think at least)

Oh, by the way, we're having a singing competition over on Discord (don't ask), so if you wanna laugh and cringe...

We're over there. (I'm singing to, because why not. I'll just be scarred for life. Happens all the time.)

Please hit those hearts and comment. Peace out.