---

"There is no greater pain

than the helplessness of a tragedy with no rebuttal."

-C.S

---

"..."

For once, he had no words to say, nor any thoughts to think. His mind was empty, blank— not even the barest hums of emotion had come to him. He wasn't in a state of disbelief. He wasn't confused. He wasn't much of anything, really. If you had to pin one word to his current state of being, it would have to be quiet.

Not silent, because that was a word reserved only for the dead, but quiet?

Without a doubt, that was him and he was that.

"Excuse me, sir, would you be the one who called the ambulance?"

He blinked.

He hadn't noticed this medical personnel get so close to him. Was he really that out of it?

"Sir?"

He shook his head internally and nodded.

"If you wouldn't mind me asking, sir, where's the reported wound on you? We have to-" He moved his wrist from its previous position, and angled it into the light of the rusty streetlamp. It was a gruesome sight of purple and red, some cuts nearing bone. "...Ah. Sir, please follow me into the ambulance immediately. It looks like it's infected."

{No one has figured out or pinned what you've done to yourself yet, Izuku. Go with them. There are no proper methods to treat you here.}

(Gray buzzed uncomfortably at her slight lie; a lie of omission, but a lie all the same.

Still, it had to be done. She started this mess, and she had a duty to clean it up as well. To fix him. This was the only way.)

He said nothing, but showed his assent as he allowed himself to be corraled into the ambulance, the pleasant sting of a stare from the worker behind him following him all the while. It... wasn't unpleasant, but an instinctive part of him disliked the attention. He always had disliked it, even way back then, during his school days.

He was forced to learn the hard way that attention often proceeded pain.

It was weird to set apart that part of himself for a period of time. Uncomfortable. It was why he had never liked hospitals, and also a very prominent part of the last institution he had been forced to ward himself in out of desperation. A ball of anxiety forced itself into his stomach at the thought, but he didn't let it show on his face.

And so off to the hospital he went, pleasant stings against his spine all the while.

But then he got there, and well...

He started wishing that he had resisted.

---

"Young Midoriya..."

He resisted the urge to sigh.

What was this, reunion hour?

"I must admit that I didn't expect to see you again after the little fiasco last time. After you left without saying anything. Rest assured, I will have a word about that later, but for now... How are you? Are you okay... Have you been eating healthy?"

He shrugged his shoulders noncommittally, half-lidded eyes glued to the floor and mouth seemingly sealed shut.

There was no trauma behind it, but there was a deep sense of... reluctance holding tight to his lips. He didn't want to do, speak, or process anything, so he didn't. Apathy was a close enough taste to his tongue, but ultimately dissimilar. He didn't want to deal with anything, under the hum of a problem too complex to tackle and a mood too low to try. A pit of anxiety in his stomach steeled the feeling even further. 

In a way, he supposed...

He was hiding.

Hiding from the world, for it was far too sinister. Far too tiring.

(He was tired.)

The skeletal man's face fell as the seconds ticked on, and he had to repress the urge to flinch in guilt.

"Izuku..?"

He said nothing.

The man's face slid into a sad smile.

"I'll let you rest, then."

He bit his lip as the hinge of the wooden door screamed.

Then it stopped.

As it if was an insignificant afterthought, All Might spoke.

"Oh, and by the way, Young Midoriya... In light of the circumstances, I've decided to take you in. I'll be your guardian of sorts from now on," He said it so light-heartedly that Deku was of half a mind that he didn't realize what he was saying, because what the fuck. "I'm sure that you've heard, to some degree, of the... re-telling, that has been spread around by Young Bakugo and his missing status as of 64 hours ago."

His eyes glinted grimly, the light cerulean taking a twist towards shadowed navy.

"The public certainly hasn't forgotten one word of it. They need something, anything right now, or they'll riot."

He spoke for the first time.

"...They need me, do they? How ironic."

It felt like just yesterday when he was the invisible boy; now, he was the apple of their eye.

It was true that he was bullied rather harshly throughout the majority of his small life, but that was a small percent of the normal reaction people had to him: indifference. Indifference to his sufferings. Indifference towards his failings, his achievements, and his very life itself. They just... didn't care. He was negligible to their daily lives, and they knew it.

Apathy... it stung just as harshly as a punch to the gut.

Now, however...

He meant everything to their little, meager worlds.

He meant everything to All Might's, apparently.

Wasn't that a riot?

"I know what you're thinking, but being your guardian... It isn't just because of the recent events. Ever since, well... It was on my mind because of necessity. You are still a child. You need an adult figure in your life you can turn to, and more so, to make sense of what happened to you. To reintegrate with society," He smiled, and it wasn't sad, but it was a tad bit melancholic. "I'd be happy to fill that role for you."

Deku... didn't know how to feel.

(Without his guilt, without the circumstances as they were, there was no way this would have ever happened, after all.)

But more than anything else, there was a disconcerting feeling of alarm bells beginning to clank around in his head.

{Izuku... He may be saying the truth, but the fact that he's mentioning it now says something all on its own. He is being pressured by outside forces to do this. And isn't it nice that the Symbol of Peace, one of the strongest, is your guardian? Regardless of his own intentions, he won't let you get away. Although you can't be kept in a prison because of your crimes, this is just another cage. A golden one, but a cage nonetheless.}

His eyes widened.

What Gray was saying... It was the truth.

H-He had to get out of here-

{But maybe... I hate to say this, Izuku, but maybe staying in this cage isn't that bad.}

'...What?'

{It's different than being thrown in prison, if only slightly. If you throw aside revenge, you can get it all back— the life you used to have. You could get help too. Don't say that you don't need any help, Izuku. You know just as well as I do that you're one snag away from snapping. And while this isn't a guarantee... You may be able to do it. Help people, as you've always wished to. Like you wish too.}

'...You want me to be a Hero? A-At this point?'

{Like you want to. And, well, isn't that something you want to do? Atone?}

'I-... I-... Saving one life doesn't make up for killing one. That just isn't how it works.'

{Then you'll have to think it through. What atonement means to you. Regardless, we won't be getting out of here any time fast.}

'What do you mean-'

He took in his surroundings for the first time.

All Might was at the door, watching.

Watching him.

Escaping—if he even wanted to do that—would prove to be very, very difficult.

'Well, fuck.'

 

AN: AHHH. I'm sorry I'm so late-

I got really distracted today ;o-o