I looked at the ground as I slowly walked out of the office, the ground was neatly messy and bloody. What could I do? Raise my head? I didn’t feel like it… Everything was grim, it was as if something had snapped. Well, it did snap… I just did not want to admit it. It's been bugging me for a bit as well... 

 

It was just finally dawning on me. I was finally seeing reality ⁠— what I had done. What I was… 

 

It was funny, really. It was extremely funny ⁠— wanting to die, to not wanting to die, to simply becoming a cruel and heartless monster. Something about that I found extremely funny, perhaps ironic. Pretending to care for others while at the same time being a monster, that in itself was funny. It was ironically funny...

 

I was just lying to myself, an attempt to convince myself ⁠— I became well aware as soon as it happened, I was aware. And yet I allowed it to happen, it was enjoyable, almost euphoric. I was supposed to be human, at least that’s what I believed, even though I was well aware that I wasn’t one. I would’ve died long ago if that were the case. 

 

All the internal bleeding and ruptures would’ve led to my body collapsing completely and shutting down, and yet it never did. I would always wake up sometime later, that was fine, but it certainly wasn’t normal. Not for humans at least. 

 

I was a dungeon core ⁠— a broken one at that ⁠— one that had no chances of fulfilling the purpose they had. Not like I knew the purpose I had. A different core; abnormal. I hated to admit it, but I was a monster running human software. That was the only reason I didn’t do anything harsh, but my sense of the world was getting skewed. It was the same reason as to why I did not feel anything when I killed the first slave dealer. The hardware was trying to update the software. To something more... compatible. 

 

I had no purpose, I was different from what a dungeon core had to be. I had no reasons nor motivations. Simply to live, but even that was impossible. 

 

It simply was a different reality, something I did not want to face, and yet it was something I was forced to face. Was it fine? To be a monster... I wonder what Rin would think? But I still had a promise to fulfill, once that is done… I will die.

 

Take care of her, please… Ah right… She did say that… I raised my head slightly, to see the bawling slave girl. She was moving her sister around and yelling her name in hopes for her to wake up. It was a horrible sight to behold, and something I could've prevented. 

 

Would it be fine? I bit my lip. Can a core really make sure your sister doesn’t meet the same fate? It was something I had no answer for.

 

Was it my responsibility? No. Did I have to do it? No. That was what me from 5 minutes ago would say, but right now it feels as if it’s the least I could do. But… 

 

Would it really be fine? 

 

I had to at least try… 

 

As I extended my hand towards her, I felt an iron grip on my wrist. A hand squeezing it tight; clad in a bespoke black leather glove, it was dry and warm. The owner of the glove was none other than The Collector himself. A bad omen in itself, and probably bad news for myself. 

 

“Come with me.” His voice was colder than usual. Before I could even nod he dragged me along. We went into the other side of the impossibly big house. I could barely hear the cries of the girl anymore. We were just there ⁠— a room with boxes running across the wall; dust running rampant through the air and no direct sunlight to be seen. 

 

He let go of me there and simply looked at me, his piercing gaze made me a bit uneasy ⁠— I wasn’t really following what was happening, although I had an idea of what was going to happen. 

 

“Are you going to kill me now?” I asked as I dropped my shoulders. The question wasn’t far-fetched and simply made sense, after all. He thought of me as a monster from the beginning. 

 

“What were you going to do with the girl?” he asked with a stern tone. 

“Take care of her in an effort to concede a dying wish.” That was the least I could do. 

 

He thought for a second. I could see the annoyance on his face, whatever happened inside this room was going to stay in this room. I did not have good odds. He finally opened his mouth. 

 

“That’s very uncharacteristic of you.” 

“Perhaps… It’s very human to feel sympathy and compassion.” As soon as I finished my sentence he clenched his fist. It was more than obvious. 

 

“You can’t lie to me, I know your nature.” His stern tone re-affirmed it. But I couldn’t lie to myself either. 

“I know it as well, sadly…” This lethargy, this pain, this hopelessness. I didn’t care what he thought. 

 

“... Why didn’t you kill the little girl as well?” That was something unexpected…

“Because... She wasn’t within my goals. Nor interfering ⁠— that’s just how it is…” 

 

That was just how it was… Although… I actually didn’t know why I didn’t kill her? Ah right… She wasn’t even in the initial calculation. That’s why. Albeit, my head was pained and scrambled, wouldn’t surprise me if I was entirely wrong. 

 

“Hmm…” He thought about my reply. “But you are a monster, so… why is it?” 

“... I don’t know…” Objectively speaking it made no sense as to why I didn’t kill her. 

 

His fist tightened. “WHY IS IT?” 

“I don’t know.” What kind of reply did he expect? 

“You killed all of them without a problem, your stats grew from the massacre and now you have the guts to tell me you have no idea?!” Hearing this, I dropped my shoulders. I truly had no idea, but it was funny…  It was truly funny that he was asking that. I also had a question...

 

“Do I need a reason? The fact that you decided to keep me around as your pet is beyond me. If you see me as a monster then… why?” It was something that didn’t click until a few minutes ago. Something I didn’t even think about. Was he really fine with me being a monster? The answer was⁠— 

 

“Of course I see you as a monster, but you seemed different. Until now that is.” It was a definite no. 

“So, Mister Collector, what will it be? Will you kill me without thinking twice about it?” I honestly, was walking on glass ⁠— a point of no return ⁠— the probability of failure was high. I was a broken core after all. 

 

“Kill you? Not exactly, that would be too kind. Now knowing what you are capable of. At first, you struggled and you seemed desperate; I felt bad for you, but now? It seemed that you had plenty of leeway and simply had fun. Killing you would indeed be too kind.” So it was that route… “But before that, answer me ⁠— why did you cling to life so desperately before?” 

“I don’t know.” Perhaps it was the feeling of being human, perhaps it was the fear of missing out. I just didn’t want it. Now? Perhaps the same would happen. 

 

“You don’t know much and yet you insisted on fulfilling a death wish. That’s very uncharacteristic of your kind.” I knew it was. His condescending tone did not affect me. 

 

“Well, I am broken after all…” 

“I know you are.” Eh? “I just wonder what made you fully embrace your nature. Did something happen?” 

“I am looking at reality now…” That’s what I think. I was going to die here.

 

“Is looking at reality becoming a core?” I nodded with hesitation. “Then you can’t take care of the girl. You will end up killing her sooner or later,” eh? why would I? “broken or not you are a core. And that won’t change. Monsters can’t change. Even letting you go out would be a mistake.” That’s… Right… I am a monster, first and foremost, but...

 

Why was it? Why did that comment make me so mad? It shouldn’t make me mad, he was right. Cores only care about efficiency. And yet here I was… Thinking about other things. Somehow, or in some way, I didn’t want to admit it. Perhaps it was denial, or perhaps I simply wanted to be told otherwise. Being told how kind I was… Well, at least I can be truthful… 

 

“I wanted to take care of her to atone for my sins if you could even call them that.” I let out a dry laugh. “Because I felt guilty.” 

“Monsters feel guilt?” Why did he keep on categorizing me there… No, I had asked for it. 

“I can feel guilty.” 

 

“That’s good, something to check off from the list.” This… “The monsters that I had to kill didn’t have that. So, I wonder how long will you have it?” 

“Why?” I knew his reasoning. In denial, I was starting to get mad.

“Because you are a monster.” Of course. 

 

“Right. I am a monster, cold-blooded and subjective that killed the slave dealer almost out of sheer enjoyment. Right… I had done it, I did it and I admit it, it was something that I did with my own two hands, that’s what made me a monster…” I was done. 

“Yes⁠, that indeed makes you a monster.” 

 

“If that makes me such a monster, then what does that make you? Justifying the murder of people because it’s your job doesn’t make it any different ⁠— it’s just an excuse. Tell me, do you not feel anything? You know about all these slave houses that basically sell people as if it was a black market, and yet you don’t move a single fucking finger?! And you are telling me I am the monster? Don’t be a hypocrite.” Why was it? Getting so emotional wasn’t good…

 

He stopped for a second before he started gritting his teeth and clenching his fist with rage. Right… getting told what was right or wrong by a monster himself would certainly make someone mad. Especially if you hate them with all your heart. 

 

“That’s right, I am a hypocrite… And you are a filthy monster, that is not allowed near anyone in this town. Nor the slave girl ⁠— I will be taking her to the guards, and that will be the end of it. You are not qualified to decide things.”  

“If I am not qualified. Then you aren’t either, you know? She has a sister and she is dead on the ground. I allowed her to get beaten up because I wasn’t mentally strong enough, it was my fault.” I paused. “But, in retrospect… It’s your fault. If you had negotiated you would’ve gotten both of them out, what makes you qualified to call me a monster?!” 

“That’s⁠— 

“That’s fucking nothing. All you did was be stone-faced and then throw me into the fray telling me whatever happens here stays here? So you know, this stays here. The fact that I am a broken core, the fact that you are a heartless bastard. You expect me to simply lick your shoes and plead for my life?! That isn’t happening.” 

 

He paused before breaking into a smile. “That is because you are a monster. So, plead...” Eh?! I could see it in his eyes, he did not give a shit anymore… I had… stepped too far. “What’s wrong? Getting scared? I already abandoned my humanity long ago, what about yours? Right now I only walk forward, I have nothing to lose anymore. It was all taken by your kind, which is why I can also take away things from your kind.” I realized... I wasn't going to leave this room alive if it was for him... 

 

Humanity… Something I clung to, and something that I… don't mind abandoning… 

 

“You won’t lay a finger on that girl, nor go out of this room. I will kill you before that.” That decisiveness… Ooh… don’t tell me… 

“You care about her. You care about the little girl way too much.” He had mentioned her more than once, he wasn’t heartless. How funny. 

 

“That’s right… I care, which is why your little journey ends here. As far as your little friend goes.” He paused. “Rin was it?” 

 

“Eh?”

“About Rin, right I will be buying her. She will finally have a free life! And get to decide what to do. But not before appropriate punishment. Negotiating with monsters is forbidden, and she is also a monster herself.” 

“Negotiate? A monster?” I was shaking, what was he even talking about? 

“A promise was it? You would leave together?” H-how… “I see it all. I have to say, it was quite brutal how you killed everyone here. I saw all of it.” … Now it all makes sense… The: why he didn’t help me. But what part of Rin was a monster? But I could see his true colors now...

 

“You had planned it from the beginning. A final test… Would I struggle to death here and you would save my ass, or would you see once in for all if I was what you feared.” 

He broke into a smile once again. “That’s right.” 

 

“What will happen to Rin once you buy her?” 

“She will have to Collect, and once I see her true nature I will decide. Did you know? Her race is rather unique. Once I take that into consideration, I will decide.” Is it… How come he didn’t have a collector partner before? ‘

 

“Will she be your partner as well?” 

“That’s correct…” I have a bad feeling about this…

“What about your previous partner?” 

“All of them dead. All of them killed by me.” 

 

The seriousness of his voice just told me all. I had to survive, perhaps I was a monster, but this person… He was beyond a monster. I took a deep breath and started to focus on everything that could happen… The odds weren’t in my favor. 

 

Then I had to get them in my favor.

Even if it meant becoming a monster.

There is no other choice is there?

There is no other choice… other than to finally embrace nature and to simply... let it happen. 

* * *