Eighty-second Encounter

“I’m here to put an end to you!” (man)

“Why?” (me)

“Because your story has been going on for too long!” (man)

“Uh, what story?” (me)

“This one! Right here! Look! It’s volume 89 already! I’m addicted and can’t put it down! You have to stop! I don’t have the time!” (man)

“Uh, so you decided to end me?” (me)

“Well, if I punch you really hard, it’ll end, right?” (man)

“Uh, no? I don’t write that story.” (me)

“Um… but the book says it’s an auto-biography by the only tentacled lady to be summoned by the dark god. And people always do what I tell them if I punch them really hard.” (man)

“Well, people don’t like getting punched, so they are probably just trying to get you to not punch them again. Anyway, may I read it?” (me)

“Sure, I guess. My favorite part is when-” (man)

“Sush! Don’t spoil it! Even if I’m reading a late volume I want to see for myself.” (me)

…

“Wow. I think this author makes sex sound a lot better than it really is.” (me)

“Really? You don’t give people heaven?” (man)

“Well… I try. It’s just… I’ve never actually driven someone mad with pleasure, or gotten anyone addicted. I think this author is exaggerating, and I’m pretty sure these are people I’ve never met.” (me)

“You mean it’s all just fiction? The author lied? Damnit, when I find them, I’ll give them a good punching!” (man)

“Um, if you want, I could try showing you how it feels to have sex with me.” (me)

“... uh… I… uh…” (man)

“It’s fine if you don’t want to. I’m not gonna force you and don’t want to pressure you. It was just an offer… anything else you want to do?”

“Well… I guess I have an author to track down, since it isn’t you. Might need to contact an old friend. They might know something.” (man)

“Alright, I’ll send you back to the entrance then.” (me)

“Thanks.” (man)

And with that, the strange encounter ended… why did he refuse? Am I really that bad at seduction? *sigh*

*** Author Note ***

Rolled a 19 for manliness and 2 for party size. One (horribly inaccurate) manly man coming up!

Just a dumb idea turned into a chapter.