Chapter 34: Enigma
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“Well, well handsome. What are you doing all the way out here alone?”

A beautiful young woman stood there, smiling at the sight of me. Her tights came up to her thighs and she wore a little number that would cause any man's eyes to explore her exposed flesh. However she seemed different than the other whore's who walked the street at night. Her eyes shined a bright, apple red and even sparkled in the light of the street lamps. And in her smile she bared a pair of white, sharp fangs that protruded down to almost touch her lower lip.

“You!” I found myself spouting.

“Ah, another vampire... I see,” she said calmly.

“Vampire?” I asked, stepping closer to her.

“Why yes, didn't you know?” she wondered as I grew closer to her, almost close enough for her to touch my face. “Your eyes... I've never seen a pair so unique before.”

She reached up in curiosity and placed her finger on the side of my temple. She thumbed across the side of my face, her smile never disappearing almost as if she was happy to see me. Happy to have me there.

“My eyes?” I murmured in absolute confusion.

“You must be new. I'm Alysia.” She held out her hand now.

I looked down to her offered hand yet stood bewildered as to what was happening.

“Can you tell me what happened?” I leaned in closer to her with desperation in my eyes.

“You don't know?” she wondered and then immediately took a gasp and stepped away from me. “You're a half blood?”

“Half. Blood?” I repeated her words, unknowing what they truly meant.

She looked behind her at a small group of friends who hung out just within a small alleyway. Then she looked back at me and stepped forward again, close enough that she wrapped her arms around my body in attempt to comfort me.

“You poor thing...” she whispered. “You must be completely lost. Look, I'm not supposed to speak to halfies but you seem so sweet.” She leaned in close to give me a small kiss on the lips then backed away again. “I'll help you. Come on, let's get out of here.”

She entwined her hand in mine and led me out of the square. She continued to look back to make sure her friends did not notice her departure.

“So, what's your name? You do remember, don't you?” she wondered as we walked.

“M... Mmmm... I don't,” I admitted though I slightly remembered hearing it coming from that man's lips back at the apartment.

“Hhmm. Mark? No, you don't look like a Mark. And you definitely don't look like a Marvin, either.” She chuckled. “Let's see.. Mmm, Mitchell... no... Mike?” She went on trying to spark any memory of my name.

“Mike?” I looked at her. “It was something like that.”

“Michael?” she asked. “No, no, that's too formal. You're name should be Mikael... like Mik ail,” she babbled.

I stopped a moment and looked at her. “Think so?”

“Damn sexy, if you ask me. Perfect for a vampire, they won't know your just a halfy if you go around with a name like that.” She smiled happily as we continued on our way down the sidewalk.

“What do you mean a 'halfy'?”

“A halfy... you're half vampire, half human... or something like that. You know I've never met a halfy until now. I guess I just could tell you're a little out of place,” she continued. “But I must admit now that halfies like you are known to have problems like denial.”

I stopped again. “Denial?”

Her smile disappeared and she stood for a moment pondering what to say.

“It means that you will never be welcomed as a vampire. That's what it is.” She looked straight up into my eyes. “You will forever wonder why you are what you are, living in constant fear of your need to feed. We don't fear that. You already have questioned your being here, that's only the start.”

“Is that all?” I asked her.

“Most halfies kill themselves after the first few years of their turning,” she admitted, her eyes staring down to the ground.

I stood in amazement. In shock to everything that had happened up until now. Had I asked to be here, to be what I am? I didn't have a clue as to where to go from here, all I knew was that I had changed and I had no previous memory as to who or what I was before this night.

“Do you think you could stay with me?” I asked. “Maybe help me fight off this denial?”

She came up close to me and wrapped her arms around my waist. “I guess I could try. What would it hurt?”

It was from that moment on Alysia accompanied me. She escorted me through the first years of this curse. She tried to show me what it was like to be a vampire trapped in a life of denial, despite the fact she did not harbor the same feelings as I. And the more times I fed, the more hurt and shallow I felt as I took that life within me. Stealing another’s energy and making it my own. But with her beside me, I could not show that pain I kept deep inside. I could not show her that I had continuously thought death would be the only way out for me.

Maybe it was that I could not show myself that pain, either. I was now immortal despite my angering thoughts towards myself. Why must I kill to maintain my own life?

However instead of living with the constant fear, I made a commitment to myself that I would seek out the meaning of this curse and a way to prevent this condition from overtaking my life.

Then the night came that I turned to Alysia and said my farewell. Concern for me spread out over her face, she grasped hold of me in her arms and refused to let me go.

“Alysia.” I humbly lifted her face to look into her eyes. It may have been the only and last time I'd seen a vampire cry.

A watery tear came slowly down her cheek. “I've helped you the best I could, haven't I?” She sniffled. “Then why must you leave?”

“You've been so kind to me Alysia. I couldn't have asked for more, but I need to leave now,” I said softly. “I need to see just how much I can live without help, see if I can beat this denial!”

“No... you'll die, Mikael!” She buried her head in my chest. “It's never been done before. A halfy like you cannot live without help.”

“But I believe it can be done.” I grabbed hold of her upper arms and forced her away from me. “I may not be able to find who is responsible for turning me, but I may be able to live the rest of this eternity with no assistance.”

“It's risky, Mikael. You're just asking for death, aren't you?”

I felt no need to continue arguing with her. Instead, I stepped backwards and turned to take my leave. I honestly believed it was quite possible for me to battle this condition on my own. Alysia never could understand what is was to live in a deep depression. She was never left to die such as I.

I heard her call out my name as I imagined another tear rolling down the side of her nose. Yet, I just needed to keep walking despite my own emotions. It was quite possible that I had developed an attachment to her just as she had for me.

When I reached the ends of the downtown district, I found my way through an alleyway and stopped to lean up against the wall to deal with those emotions. It was quiet there, just silent enough for me to wipe a rogue tear away from my own cheek.

I hoped I was correct... I hoped I can go on without her, without her assistance. What if I was wrong?

It was then that I noted music coming from just inside the building I was resting against. I stepped out to the square and spotted a small tavern; an older, drunken man being escorted out onto the sidewalk.

When I stepped inside, I would have never expected to have spent the next twenty years there. The next two decades fighting the constant misery and the thoughts of what could have been different.

I fought my doubt by holding out for the impossible, the hopes that I soon could be like all those other vampire's I ran across...

… at the end of the second decade, and my prayers had been all but lost in my frequent sorrow... he finally entered my life...

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