Episode 152 - Bound Secrets (Book II Epilogue & Book III Intro)

Author’s note: Continuation of Episode 69: Bound Reality “Bound Memories”

(Eugene’s Past Life)

Something I never understood was when my mother said I was just like 'them' when I wasn't. I was an outcast and I wasn't a true member of the family, so how was I the same as them? Her eyes, which flashed with anxiety at the time, showed me that she stood by what she said, which was frightening.

I woke up one day, almost numb to all emotions. There was only a small percentage of my humanity left until I lost it all, and the one thing I haven't lost yet is not the emotion of vengeance, but the sense of freedom. Yes, I desired freedom. The only light in my world that made me feel alive was the desire for freedom, thus, I began to plan for it.

On New Year's Day, with all of my family present and not a single person missing, I will achieve my freedom. There was only one thing I had to do to achieve my dream and that was this family perishing. No one could leave alive, and if I can’t manage that, what’s next will be my head being sliced off.

Since the day I decided to desire freedom, I’ve been gathering leftover sleeping herbs that my family uses to make their targets fall asleep. Of course, I was aware that my family is resistant to the sleeping herbs that are converted into incense sticks, so I reasoned, "Why not just have everyone digest the whole herb?". This way, the sleeping herb will work. Though it wouldn’t kill them as it would to a normal person, one full herb will make them fall asleep, which is enough time to set phase 2.

After a while, I began to doubt that my plans for freedom would work. The reason why I thought so was that my family were hired assassins working for the government. If my family was killed and I was the only one left alive, the next thing that would happen to me would be a trip to prison. And that this was not the freedom I desired, but then one day, as my mother was mocking me, she said something that decreased my tension.

She told me that I was not in their family register because they had been embarrassed that I was born as a girl. That they would have reported my birth if I was born a male; a male that would break the curse placed upon my family that made us only give birth to female offspring. The mention of this curse was in the family book. According to the book, as long as the curse is not broken, the family must continue to be assassins. And out of hatred that I was born a female, my family named me after the first predecessor; Eugene.

After my mother's information, there were no more impediments. I didn’t care about the villagers who knew of my existence simply because I was taboo. Even if they knew that my family had died and that I was the only one left alive, they would still ignore me if they saw me walking down the street. Ignoring my existence had become their habit, and it was unlikely to change for the rest of their lives.

Time passed by and New Year’s came.

As usual, I was the odd one out at the New Year's Eve family dinner. This didn't bother me and made prepping my freedom easier. If there was one way to get my family to eat the leaf in one bite, it would be to put it in the new year's dumping. All I had to do was replace the vegetables my grandmother bought with the sleeping herbs, and wait for the kitchen maid to make the dumplings. Of course, the maids didn’t doubt the vegetables my grandmother ‘bought’, hence everything went smoothly.

I was alone in the dark corner as everyone fell onto the table one by one. The moment I stepped into the light that was cast by the moon, I knew that I was halfway to my desired freedom. I walked out of the dining room, past the kitchen, where all of the employees had died from shock from digesting the dumpling containing the herb and went down to the basement without looking back.

I walked over to the switch where the second half of my plan for freedom would take place and flipped it without a second thought. Because I had long forgotten what hesitation and anxiety felt like, everything went smoothly. After that, I went to the basement's emergency exit and exited the house.

Water spraying could be heard five minutes later. This was not a sprinkler that extinguished the fire, but rather a sprinkler full of oil that spread the fire. My grandmother set up this system to destroy everything in case of an emergency. Why? Because there were so many secrets in this house, some of which were still unknown to the government.

I was watching the house when I noticed something beyond the window. Even though it was dark outside, I could see clearly that one pair of eyes were staring straight into my eyes. It was my mother standing there quietly as she watched me.

Amidst this, I lit the lighter in my hand and threw it at the house. A section of the house was on fire not even a second later. The fire spread quickly, and I took a step back while still maintaining eye contact with my mother.

I stood there watching my house, my family, and the place that had shaped me into who I was that day burn. I watch my mother, who has no expression on her face, watch me. Though I was not feeling any particular emotions that time, the crimson sky stuck with me forever.

“Yes, I’m just like you,” I said then, to my mother whose body had already charred. At that moment, her eyes seemed to move as if she heard me. I didn't bother watching the house burn to the ground any longer, and I turned to leave when I paused.

My head lowered as I stared at my shoes; I lost all my emotions and lost the reason that kept me alive.

Freedom.

.

.

.

(Present)

The sky was still dark when Eugene woke up. Though there was not much expression on her face, she was completely covered in sweat. She dreamed of something that happened in her past that she had never dreamed of before because Louis had returned from the academy the day before and told her something out of the ordinary.

Louis told her that a famous fortune-teller had told the Veria family that their mothers would perish if Levis and Moniqua married. That they would not die in peace, but rather at the hands of their grandchildren.

That was one of the primary reasons why everyone was against Levis’s and Moniqua’s marriage. Because their marriage was destined to fail because of this matter.

Eugene rolled out of bed and grabbed a towel to wipe her sweaty body, “That damn Louis. Making me sweat in the middle of the night.” She cussed as she wiped herself down. Because of him, she dreamt about something incredibly unpleasant!

She mumbled again as she turned to her door and glared at it, “Why did he even have to come back? Come back and what? Make fun of my relationship with Euria? Tsk.”

Fighting with Euria was a common occurrence these days. They pretended that their relationship was fine in front of everyone at first, but after a while, they stopped pretending.

There would be days when Euria would jab Eugene and days when Eugene would jab Euria. They no longer get along and have split up due to personality differences. Eugene overheard Levis telling Moniqua that Euria and her were having an early puberty season, and when she heard that, she wanted to fight Levis as well but she stopped herself because Levis was a bear and she was a rabbit. She was well aware of her limits, hence she did nothing to him.

Their relationship deteriorated further when she was confronted with a harsh reality in the future and felt nothing but despair. Despair that was far worse than her past.

She had assumed that she didn't care about the twit who had clung to her since they were born. She had assumed that they would go on to live their own lives. However, these thoughts came to a halt when Euria was no longer here.

All she could do when Euria was gone was blame herself. She blamed herself for not caring about Euria and not being nicer to her. When despair struck one after the other, she lost control of her emotions once more. Emotions that were made possible by Euria and... Moniqua. It was only after severe regrets, despair and depression that she came to realize the importance of family.

“I… already - Huk-  Miss you…” Eugene sobbed in between her breaths as she squatted to the ground. Her heartbreaking cries caused animals walking through the forest to come to a halt as her emotions also affected them.