Well, it's evening, and we're finally out of the forest. We kept following the path, and ended up in a very wide clearing. All around us were fields. Look at that farmland. All those crops.

"Otto, you see that shit? It's where bread comes from. The more you know."

Otto pointed at the plants we were looking at. Wait, that ain't wheat. That's some kind of other plant. It looks nothing like wheat, now that I think about it. I have no idea what kind of plant it is, but Otto seems pretty keen on me not walking too close. Okay, fine. Have it your way. You can stop hugging me now, it's super weird being hugged by a robot. 

We walked up towards a group of houses, and Otto put up his hood. Something wrong there, Otto? I've never seen you put that hood up once. You didn't happen to do anything here that might make them recognize you, right? Wow, I should've realized how cool Otto was. Breaking the law. My man. I'll be quizzing you on it extensively. Get ready for a lot of yes and no questions, because this is the juiciest gossip I've heard!

As we walked up, someone walked up to greet us. Or not, they have a spear out. Maybe they're just cautious about the guy with a sword and his pal with his hood up. 

"State ya business!" The guy called out. He was a bit skinny and he wasn't wearing armor. His spear looked blunt as fuck. Get that shit fixed. "I won't ask you again!"

"Sorry to impose upon you, kind sir, but my friend and I were merely looking for a place to rest for the night." I put on my most respectful, cheesy voice possible. I want to sleep in bedsheets tonight. No more out in the woods bullshit. Maybe I can learn some common sense too. 

He glared at us. "Oh really?" Shit, I must have missed something. "No normal person would have come from down that path. Was there anything on the road?" Oh, he did know about it? Well, honesty is important.

"Yes sir." I'm sticking with my cheesiness. Get ready for a shit ton of cheddar. "My comrade and I came across the thing in the road and decided to remove it. I thought it may be causing trouble for the surrounding area, but I wasn't sure. Was there something wrong with my action?"

He looked at me in confusion. Then he smiled. "Yeah right, a level 24 like you defeating a level 31 flesh golem? Like hell I'd believe that."

Wait, did this fucker appraise me? That's an invasion of privacy. Only the FBI is allowed to do me like that. I'm feeling a little pissed now. Might as well check his information.

Oh. It was just Frank the human. I understand so much about him now. Fuck. Time to pull shit out of my ass. 

"Well, my friend over here was able to help me. Without his help, I may have struggled a bit." I put on the kind of smile you would expect from a humble protagonist, as I scratched the back of my neck, glancing towards Otto. Inwardly, I was thinking about how Otto was a lazy piece of shit. Now, don't be lazy and help me lie here!

Otto stood there in silence. As if there was any other way he could have stood. He nodded his head at my glance. Good job at playing along, asshat. 

"Oh, like hell a bard could have done that shit." He says, looking at Otto's lute. You underestimate his power. Don't try it. He is made out of metal, so I personally believe that he's just hiding his true strength. Maybe he's the real protagonist. 

"Well, even if we said we beat him, we just went around in the end." I gave a big grin. "Sorry, I like to exaggerate a bit." 

He looked like he was even more suspicious of us now. Okay, something is definitely off about this asshole. Time to beat out some answers.

I used concealment, grabbed my sword, and ran up to him, before pointing my sword at his neck before he could react. Man, he looks spooked now. Time to put on a new act.

"Okay then. I guess it's alright to stop pretending." I give an evil grin. "We both know what's really going on here. Now, where are the rest of you?"

This is a bit of a gamble, but I doubt he was farming all this land on his own. It would take way too much work. Plus, someone would need to transport it as well, so I'll need to trick him into giving me some answers. Acting like you know everything is a great way to scan for some basic information. I think. People like to use this method in the shows I watched. But then the guy in front of me just started grinning.

I suddenly noticed a presence, and turned my head. Ah, shit. Otto, what are you doing? You let some dummy sneak up behind you with a knife? I'm the only one that's allowed to sneak up on others with a knife. Fuck.

It's some guy all in black. Probably thinks he looks bad ass as hell right now. Why the fuck is he just wearing those clothes, it's in the middle day? I get you want to be a ninja, but those clothes don't help you blend in during the day. The sun is still out, dumbass. Well, I guess it doesn't matter, seeing as I didn't notice him.

But there is one thing they weren't expecting. 

"You got this Otto. I believe in you!" I say, cheering on my friend. This is what you get for making me deal with the flesh golem. Overcome your own trials and tribulations, I've gotta beat this guy up.

Your sacrifice will not be in vain.

I'll just figure out some way to reassemble you.

Yeah, you're dead. Unless you truly are hiding your hidden powers.

I turned back towards the now slightly worried farmer. "Alright, so... Where were we?"

I heard the noises of metal hitting metal behind me. Sounds like it's getting heated. Have fun, you two. 

* * *

The farmer already figured out that I didn't know anything. However, my sword and fists were persuasive enough for him to explain. The truth was that this place wasn't an ordinary farm. In order to properly explain, I have to get into character. Cue the Disney music.

*Ahem.*

Look, Simba, everywhere the grass touches is our property.

Wow...

A peasant's time as farmer rises and falls like the sun. One day, Simba, the sun will set on my time here, and will rise with you as a new farmer.

And this'll all be mine?

Everything.

Everything the grass touches... What about those fields?

That's illegal contraband.

Yeah. I said it.

All these crops are drugs. 

Clover Leaf, named for the leaf's similarity to four leaf clovers. The fantasy equivalent of Marijuana.

I realized this after the flesh golem, but this is reminding me that my fantasy adventure is not PG-13.

I wonder if Otto knew that? Maybe? He did try to keep me away from them, but I don't really get it still. It's not like being near them would make me high, right? Maybe he just wanted to keep me on track? I am known for tangents. Whatever, I ain't got a clue.

Oh, look like Otto managed to snag a victory over the ninja. He's standing over the body with his lute. I completely underestimated the power of that instrument. That is definitely not made out of normal wood. Nice one, pal. OW! HEY! FUCK, THAT HURTS! I get that I threw pebbles at you that one time, but you didn't even react! I'm not done interrogating this fucker, okay!? GIMME A SEC! 

So, I managed to beat a bit of information out of mister drug dealer here. Apparently, they're part of some large underground group called "Silver Leaf". They're involved in a lot of shady shit, and some of that shady shit just happens to include, guess what? DRUGS! And here's one of their farms! Isn't that just great? 

Apparently, they made the flesh golem, and put it on that road in order to close the area off. Normally, in order to make a flesh golem, you need a specific skill, as well as a shit ton of corpses, so he was naturally suspicious of me when I walked in like nothing was wrong. They don't have people stationed at the farm, because the surrounding area is actually filled with a shit ton of smaller flesh golems hiding in the woods. I guess taking care of the big guy was the right move. 

The path that we came across is also a hidden road used by "Silver Leaf." Most people aren't out in the middle of this area, ever, so they had hidden pretty well. But now, someone just happened to come across their hidden farm.

Fuck, I'm so screwed.

I immediately get involved in trouble as soon as I touch civilization. Isn't that just fucking peachy? The farmer spouted some shit about us being hunted down until the ends of the earth. This ain't good.

Really, the best option here is to just kill the two and leave. 

It really is.

I know it is. 

But I just can't do it.

They're both subdued right now. I've never killed anyone before. And this feels like something I shouldn't do. Fuck. Fuck! FUCK!

So, I knocked out the farmer. I hit him over the head with the butt of my sword.

"Ow, Shit!"

Well, he's still awake. Let's try again.

"Fuck, I already told you everything!"

This ain't for information. Just go to sleep, already. 

Third times the charm. How the fuck do they do it so easily in the movies? Usually it's just a one hit KO.

Anyways, he used appraisal on me, so I have no idea what he knows about me other than my level. Hopefully, I can just tie him up and leave him here. Just forget about us, we didn't mean to be here. Maybe they'll get memory loss from the severe beatdown. 

I waltzed straight into the farmhouse under my concealment. Hopefully, they aren't any others hidden in here. 

After looking around the house for thirty minutes, I managed to snag five gold coins, and a shit ton of other change. Well, if we're gonna piss of an evil drug cartel, we might as well go all the way. I robbed as many weapons as I could find and shoved them in my item storage. Also snagged some food. I ran out of bread a while ago, so finding some is great. They also had some root vegetables I don't know, so I snagged them too. 

Time for the true fun to begin.

Well, they are criminals. I guess what I'm planning now shouldn't be that big of a deal to them. They're getting off easy. After all, I'd appreciate my life over my clothes any day. Of course, being naked in front of your burning drug farm is never something one would appreciate. Oh well. Beggars can't be choosers.

Otto and I decided we should probably go back the way we came on this one. Or, I just told Otto we should, and he nodded. Thanks for nothing, Otto. It's your fault we came this way. You picked the direction, so you get the blame. That's how it works. 

But, we weren't expecting to run into more of them on the road. 

What now?