So. I had a thought.

Why did I do that? Why did I think? Things go so much better when I don't bother thinking about things.

Otto and I were sitting in the campsite after I woke up.

I thought about magic. An important question.

If I can cover my weapons in electricity magic, can I do the same for others?

The answer?

Yes.

Was the result good?

Meh?

I coated my sword with water. Nice, but how is this useful? Now I have a sword, cushioned by water. I tried to extend water off the blade, but it wasn't very useful. I tried doing some sort of slash through the air, where a water blade would come off of my blade, but life won't act like an anime. Time to give up on my hopes and dreams.

Coating my sword with light may be good. You can't look directly at the blade now, because the light makes it too bright to look at. The problem is that it doesn't mix with concealment well. A real shame, that is.

The darkness blade looked cool. It's hard to make out the exact location of the blade because you can't see where it is. This is also a pain for me, I discovered, as I can't tell if I cut where I wanted to cut at first, and I have to remove the blade from the location if I want to see if it was a success. 

But then, the real problem came.

I decided to try poison magic.

The results...

I'm on the ground, with some bad cramps. 

How did this happen?

First, coating the sword with poison magic did not have any obvious effects. I could vaguely sense mana, or magic or whatever the fuck that shit is called covering my sword. I couldn't see the actual magic, though. It didn't have a material form. So, I decided to test it out on a passing rabbit. I stabbed it in the foot.

It ran off, but after following it for a few minutes, it fell over, dying. That's great, I think to myself. I caught dinner!

You should not eat your poisoned prey.

Poison magic does not cook out of food.

The more you know. However, I wish I hadn't learned that like this.

Otto is watching over me from the side. Lucky bastard doesn't need to eat. I just sit here and listen to him play some tunes. How fucking magical. I'm glad my pain is inspiring your music. Or is this some sort of lullaby? I haven't heard of a lullaby that sounds this cheerful and upbeat, though. Fucker.

So, here I am. Laid out on the ground, poisoned by my own magic.

And then I realized. Isn't this my own magic? Shouldn't I still be able to control it somehow? Like, turning off or something?

So I tried to sense the magic. I had a skill that proved I could sense it, I just needed to use it. 

After trying hard for a little bit, I figured it out. I felt the poison mana in my stomach. And Damn.

Why is it called poison magic?

This is way more evil than poison.

It's like the mana is trying to erode everything around it. It's evil as all hell. This kind of magic, once at its highest levels, seems like final boss material. 

This is less like poison magic, and more like corruption magic.

I'm going to figure out how to use this shit. THE FINAL BOSS SHALL BE ME!

After trying to reach out to that mana for a while, I noticed that it seemed to be receding. I did it! I figured it out!

That's what I thought.

When I tried to manipulate poison magic outside my body, after coating a blade with it, it didn't work.

Then I noticed.

My poison resistance went up. 

I learned jack shit.

So, fucking around until the afternoon was fun like this.

Moving away from that topic, I realized what was up with this path. This is a hidden path in the forest. This ain't no fucking road. This was being used by those evil bastards to secretly bring stuff to and from the farm.

Because of that, I decided Otto and I shouldn't keep traveling on it. This smells of disaster and unlucky encounters. 

So, Otto and I turned towards the north again. 

And we walked through the forest again.

* * *

"Well, this is what I would expect a road to look like."

Otto and I came across a paved road after passing through the forest for two days. The path we had come across before was made of dirt, so I'm glad to see that someone in the fantasy world government decided to invest in infrastructure. Now we can happily prance down the stone road.

This time, when picking between east and west, I chose east for us. East is the right way. Always. That's what you've taught me, Otto. Thanks for nothing.

So, we head east.

While on the way, Otto was playing something cheerful.

It's nice.

Except you've played this same song for the last twenty minutes.

It's not even that good.

"Otto, I don't mean to interrupt your groove, but could you play something else?" I asked nicely. 

Otto didn't even pause or look at me.

"Otto, would you please listen to me?"

He kept playing.

"Otto?" I'm getting a little pissed off now.

Oh, I get it. We're playing the "Annoy-the-shit-out-of-your-companion Game." I love this game, when I'm being the annoying one. I ain't loving it right now.

FUCK.

I've got who knows how many hours of this shit to deal with. 

God, you lazy bastard, be a pal and strike my friend with lightning real quick, please and thank you.

Nope, we ain't got shit coming down. 

You gave me this job, it wouldn't hurt to be given some kind of benefit every once in a while!

I'll have to take matters into my own hands.

Hey, Otto. I hear electricity will short circuit robots.

Why don't we test that out?

I grabbed Otto by the back of the head and gave him a little shock.

Nothing happened.

And he kept playing.

...

Fuck it, God. I'll make my own lightning.

I gave him a much larger shock.

And to my satisfaction, he stopped playing.

YES!

Then he fell over. 

NO!

"Hey, Otto?" I nudged him with my foot. Well, shit. I killed him. Fuck, police, don't arrest me. It was an accident, I swear!

I got on my knees, and lifted up his arm. It was limp. I dropped it, and it fell straight to the ground.

Damn. 

I flipped him over, so I could see his front.

Alright. If he's dead, then it doesn't matter if I do this!

I rubbed my hands together. 

Stand clear of the patient.

Get ready. 

And, CLEAR!

I placed my hands on Otto's chest, and gave him a shock. 

Nothing.

That ain't good.

Why did I think that would work?

I better get him off the road. Hopefully, he'll boot up soon.

I started to look around, when I heard a sound.

Music.

I looked down, and Otto was back to playing.

And he was playing the same fucking song as before.

...

Was he faking it?

I can't actually tell. 

I decided it was better to just spend the rest of the day camping off the side of the road. Fuck this shit. 

* * *

Otto and I were walking down the road, when we saw another group walking towards us. Otto put up his hood. Seriously, what did you do that makes you want no one to see your face? Maybe it's because you're a creepy motherfucker?

Well, it's not like I can ask him.

Oh well.

Should I say anything to them?

The group consisted of three people, walking. One of them was carrying a sword. They looked at us suspiciously. 

We walked past them.

Eh? Shouldn't we have said hello or something? Maybe it's best to just not bother? We were going opposite directions, so I guess it doesn't matter. Not like we'll meet them again. 

We kept walking. 

Thank fuck. Dealing with people would be a hassle. Where would I tell them I was coming from?

Wait, when we get to a town, what's my backstory supposed to be?

This ain't looking good.

Gotta think about this.

As we left the other group behind us, I began to contemplate what my backstory should be. 

* * *

Right, I think I figured it out.

Otto is a mute. I'm his friend. I'm trying to become an adventurer, and he wants to become a famous musician. I'm here to help support him while he gets himself settled. 

One problem.

I can't name a single fucking town around here.

How am I supposed to say where I came from? Should I say that we lived in the forest? I mean, the monsters there were weak as hell, so it may seem likely that that is the case. 

However, it's still shady.

If the guards have appraisal, they should be able to see I'm pretty strong. After fighting those guys from the "Silver Leaf" group, I think I should be slightly above average. I guess my title "Blessed By God" had a greater effect than I thought. 

Well, I need to try my hardest to get stronger still. I can't kill a demon lord like this.

I hate trying. And effort. 

Well, let's hope it all works out somehow.

Here's my status. Apparently poison magic is automatically rare rank. Score.

Name:	Simon Harmes	Vitality	199	Mana Capacity	256
Race:	Human	Strength	199	Intellect	217
Age:	16	Agility	208	Wisdom	217
Level:	27	Constitution	199	Perception	235
Titles:			Affinities:
Blessed By God (L)			Water
Hated By An Archangel (U)			Light
Automaton's Friend (R)			Darkness
			Poison
			Lightning
			Space-Time

 

Skills: Level: The Chaos of a Joker (U) NA Language Comprehension (R)  NA Concealment (S)  5 Dagger Wielding (S) 1 Dismantling (C) 8 Cooking (C) 8 Poison Resistance (C) 5 Short Sword Technique (C) 4 Dashing (C) 2 Dual Wielding (C) 2

Magic: Level: Instant Cast (U)  NA Item Storage (R)  3 Poison Magic (R) 1 Moisture Magic (C) 8 Electric Magic (C) 6 Shine Magic (C) 4 Shadow Magic (C) 4 Mana Sense (C) 4 Appraisal (C) 3