14 – I Forgot People Had Morals.
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It's time to start destroying Silver Leaf. Gotta save the city from their evil clutches. I'm going full on hero for this one. Call me Santa, cause I'm visiting all these bad kids off my list, and they sure as hell aren't getting any presents. 

This time, I need to where the proper outfit. When I left the inn, I searched through my item storage for some kind of hood or mask that I may have taken-- I mean, confiscated from the farm, and I found a badass looking cloak with sleeves. Perfect. I found another one for Otto, so people can confuse one cloak wearing, lute wielding guy for another. Hopefully. 

I break a plank off of a stable I find on the edge of the road and give it to Otto. He can use that instead of his lute. Destruction of private property? Don't look at me, it was that strange guy in a cloak. Whatever, if they really find me, I'll pay a fucking fine. If they find me.

So, Otto and I decide to start with the Silver Leaf base closest to the inn. Now, where is that?

If I remember properly... It's the inn.

"Otto, we're heading back."

Wait, if we're about to wreck the inn, then why did I strip Frank to get him to guard our room?

...

Shits and giggles?

Oh, we're back. Time to make an entrance.

I kick open the door of the inn, and get ready for some badass fighting. Everyone is about to get fucked up. 

The receptionist is startled, and stands up abruptly. I rush over, taking a short sword out of my inventory, and bash him with the flat of the blade, knocking his ass to the floor. We could have done this stealthily, but...

"Get ready to fight, fucker!"

This is faster. And more fun. 

Yeah, I'm totally a psycho.

This city is not safe.

The innkeeper gets up and grabs a sword from underneath his counter, but I'm already leaping over the counter. As I'm going over, I accidentally kick him in the face, and we both fall on the ground.

So, here I am. My back on the floor, my eyes looking to the ceiling. It was going so well. But then, I had to wipe out. Where did my confidence come from?

Oh, right. I'm fucking crazy. There was that.

I look at the innkeeper, but he's out cold. At least he didn't see me wipe out.

I get up off the floor and look over at Otto. He's just standing by the door. Aren't you supposed to be helping me? Where's my wingman?

Oh, he's probably turned off by the whole, "acting like a crazy person" bit. Got it. We'll act a little more sane now.

"Otto, I need you to take this guy upstairs and leave him with Frank."

Boom, problem solved. Time to liberate some funds.

* * *

Otto took the innkeeper upstairs, and I looked around in the back rooms. I didn't find anything of interest. I guess this base isn't being used much. Might be an emergency base. I found a basement with more weapons and money. I swear, I'm going to have to start dumping animal corpses from my inventory in order to fit more weapons. That was not a very hard choice. 

So, now he has a basement full of animal corpses. That'll be hard to explain when the cops show up. And they will. I'll make sure of it.

As I was getting ready to enact my plan, someone walked in the front door. Sorry I smashed it up a little bit.

"Um, hello?"

Holy shit. It's a cute, young girl. She's got short black hair and is wearing a cloak with her hood at her shoulders. Damnit, I can't just beat up a random stranger, much less a little girl. I leave my hood down, and sit at the counter. Gotta play a role in the hopes she leaves. 

"Hiya!" I call out. "You a customer?"

"Uh," She can see the signs of a fight around the place, and hesitantly walks in. "Yes, I was looking for an inn and I was recommended this place by the Adventurer's Guild."

Motherfucker. I'll remember this.

"Sorry, but we had a bit of a rough situation around here as you can see." I gesture towards the broken door. "Me and a friend are currently dealing with it right now, so maybe you could check into somewhere else? Sorry about this."

"Um, no, it's fine." Holy shit, cute, nervous girls are adorable. I just want to give her a hug. Wait, is she even legal? I'm not showing up on 'How To Catch A Predator,' okay?

"Thanks. Sorry for the inconvenience. Maybe come back some other night. We'll be happy to have you!"

"Yeah, maybe." She walks out. 

I wait a couple of seconds before getting up from the counter, walking towards the door, and putting up the closed sign. 

Fuck.

That was a close one. 

So, time to summon the guards without anyone seeing me.

How will I do this?

Simple.

I'll just fuck with people a little bit.

Otto and I left a shit ton of animal corpses in front of the door. Lot's of them. I hunted way too many animals in that forest. I didn't need to eat that much, so I figured I'd keep them until I needed to eat. Now, this will get someone to call the guards.

"Come, Otto. Our work here is done. We've made the city a safer place."

Time to get the hell out of dodge. 

I am so lucky that the rest of that place was empty of any guests. Otherwise, we would have been caught so fast.

I look down at a list I made Frank write. Yeah, that list I mentioned was real. I wouldn't remember where every goddamn base in the city was, and I needed some directions to get to each one. This is a really shitty map with locations written down, but I can use it.

On to the next one.

* * *

I kick down the door to another inn. These guys really fucking like their inns, huh?

"Get ready to fight, fucker!"

There's a receptionist at the counter. Looks like the layout is the same in this place. I rush up and bash the receptionist in the face with the flat of my blade. He grabs a sword from under the counter, and I leap over, this time not kicking him in the face. 

Time for a tussle, punk.

I swing my sword at him and he barely has anytime to block the sword aiming for his neck. But I got him. I use electricity magic and have it climb up his blade to hit his hand. I also add another little whammy to the mix.

I fuse a little bit of poison magic with my lightning magic. See how you like that!

The receptionist dropped his sword, and his hand fell limp. He can't move it anymore.

Did that paralyze his hand?

This warrants further investigation.

While the receptionist is still in shock, I swing my sword again and hit him in the leg. Flat of the blade, don't want to cripple him. Unless this magic cripples him. Hey, it's for the sake of science. 

His leg falls out from under him even though I did barely any damage. He ain't getting up. Even when he tries to use his other leg, to push himself up, the other just won't work. Well, that is one terrifying ability. The power of being a cheat is strong with this one. 

He tries to shout, so I put my blade up against his neck.

Hmmmm...

What happens if I fuse poison with other attributes?

I grin as I look at the innkeeper. It's gonna be a fun time for both of us. 

I may be a sadist. 

This country is not safe.

* * *

So, after a little bit of experimenting, I found out a couple of things. Poison attribute is highly versatile in its usage. 

Combining it with water made a poisonous liquid. Nice. But what was better than that was the fact that directly fusing a magic attribute into poison gave it new effects.

Putting water attribute into the poison made the innkeeper throw up everywhere. Gross. The light attribute gave him blindness, and the dark attribute made him pass out. Holy shit, this is totally final boss magic.

Actually, this may be slightly beyond the level of being final boss.

I'm definitely going to figure out how to be a mage. I can tell you that much. 

While I was experimenting with the innkeeper, Otto went upstairs to do some snooping. We probably should have checked if the inn had guests beforehand, but this place was empty too. Who the hell would show in this city when a bunch of bloodthirsty monsters are set to show up soon?

Ah, that's right. Me. And Otto. He's not really helping me with this plan much. He probably agrees with me trying to wipe out the evil organization, but may not be a fan of the whole "Steal All Their Shit" plan I've got going. Hey, they sold drugs for this money, and I'm stealing it. Two wrongs make a right.

Wait, that's not how it goes. 

It's an eye for an eye.

But this isn't revenge...

Fuck it, I'll make a new one. Rob your enemies and watch those poor motherfuckers struggle without their cash. A little too on the nose, but who cares? I certainly don't. 

It was after I emptied out the basement that someone came knocking on the door again.

"Hello?" Cute girl is here!? FUCK! WHY!?

Well, this is an inn... And it was the closest place on the list from where the other inn was...

Maybe it was also the closest inn to this place?

Did that shady receptionist send her here? Okay, he's definitely in on this shit. Him sending her to an evil hotel once is a mistake. Twice...

That fucker is up to something...

I move to the reception table. I'm so glad that I closed the door while I was experimenting. I take an apple I found (robbed) out of my inventory and kick up my feet at the table. Need to look casual and relaxed. If I'm acting like everything is fine, she'll probably not call my bullshit. 

The scene is set. ACTION!

"Ah, hello!" I call out. After a couple of seconds, she opens the door. Surprised to see me? Not as surprised as I am to see you!

"Um..." Cute girl is confused. It's great. Wait, I can't enjoy this right now. I need to get her the fuck out of here!

"Well, well, well, would you look who it is!" I say, pushing one of my arms to the side. "Sorry, but this place got wrecked too. I could give you the explanation if you want to hear it. Do you?"

She nods, still trying to figure it out on her own. Don't worry, you'll understand soon.

"You see..." I pause to take another bite out of the apple before continuing. "Some group of teens showed up at my friend's inn, the first one we met at. I was talking with my pal who was working at reception when they barged in, demanding to know where someone was. We didn't know what they were talking about." I take another bite out of my apple. Man, this is one good apple. "So, we tried to get them to leave, but then they wrecked the place and tore through all the rooms, looking for that person I'm guessing. They didn't find anyone."

I gestured around myself. "Can you guess what happened here? The same exact thing. I came over after the innkeeper ran to my friend, asking if he could lodge his one guest over there, but since it his place wrecked too, that plan was a bust. I came over here to check things out, and what do you know? You came here too."

I give what's supposed to look like a bitter smile. "Things aren't going to be good for my friend's business. Hopefully, they can figure things out. Well, things weren't going to be good for a while anyways, so at least he'll have time to fix up his inn."

The young girl takes this all in before responding. "Really? That's terrible! Someone should teach them a lesson."

"Yeah, well I can't do much. I'm not much of a fighter." I smile. Holy shit, she is one naive kid. Someone is going to scam you for all your cash someday. Just you wait. 

The girl holds her clenched fists in front of her before saying in a very determined voice, "Don't worry! I work as an adventurer. I'll find those guys for you!"

Fuck. I knew she was young and nervous, but why did she have to have a moral compass and confidence in fighting. ACT A LITTLE MORE LIKE A SCAREDY CAT!

"Don't worry," I said, trying to dissuade her. "This is something for the guards to take care of. Not an adventurer. I'm sure they'll be able to get to the bottom of this soon enough."

She looks at me, her look still full of willfulness. "I... I want to help! Please tell me how I can help!"

I sigh. Now, this is getting worse. At this rate, I'll have to do something mean to get her to leave.

I start holding my forehead. "Look, the best thing you can do for either of us is to just find another inn. I'm sorry that this evening had been such a hassle for you, but we can figure it out on our own. In fact, it may be better to do that than to rely on someone we don't know. Just... We'll figure it out."

She looks a little sad, but all is well. Just leave. Please leave. I'm begging you.

Finally she leaves, before tossing out one last line. "I hope everything works out for you."

She closes the door.

And, scene.

FUCK, THAT WAS FUCKING CLOSE! God, lazy bastard, thanks for only sending a gullible dummy to this inn. If it was anyone else, I would have been fucked so hard. 

I get up from the counter. 

Time to finish robbing this joint. 

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