4 – Leveling Up Is Kinda Fun, If You’re Into Murder.
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'Okay, this is a lot less fun than I thought it would be.'

I was still traveling through the forest, even though it had been an hour. It was pretty fun at first, but I didn't think they would leave me so far away from civilization. I managed to find a stream, so I filled up my water skin. I do admit, the scenery was gorgeous, but I'm easily bored. 

'Is that?'

In front of me, I saw it. Holy shit, it's real. I never thought I would see such a thing in my previous life, but here... Such a magnificent creature.

'The mythical slime? The pushover of all pushovers? You came to see me?'

It was beautiful. The way its pale blue translucent body rippled as it lay upon the forest floor left me breathless. The way the sun reflected across its surface blinded me. The pure majesty of its presence left me in awe. It was... It was...

Free EXP.

I took out my sword, walked over, and stabbed it. The thing popped like a bubble. What a hard fought battle.

'Now what? Do I get my level up jingle or something? Let me check my status.'

It didn't go up. Well, it was just one slime. Not much you can do about that. Oh well. 

I heard a rustling in the bush and looked over. I paused when I saw its bombastically round body-- I'm not doing this shit again. 

I poked it with a sword and it died. Fuck yeah.

'Status? Nope, still nothing. Guess it's time for a slime genocide.'

I looked through the bushes until I found another one, and I decided to give it a side slash. It splashed everywhere. I checked my status, and finally, Level 2.

Name: Simon Harmes Vitality 44 Mana Capacity 73
Race: Human Strength 44 Intellect 52
Age: 16 Agility 48 Wisdom 52
Level: 2 Constitution 44 Perception 60
Titles: Affinities:
Blessed By God (L) Water
Hated By An Archangel (U) Light
  Darkness
  Poison
  Lightning
  Space-Time

My stats all rose by four, except mana rose by five. Things are looking up. LET THE GENOCIDE GO ON!

* * *

Okay. It's been three hours. I'm kinda bored now. I also found a couple rabbits which I skewered, but they weren't anything special. I decided to shove the corpses in my item box. Hopefully they won't age in there. If they do, we'll see if I can ever find a use for smelly dead rabbits. I'm sure I can work up a prank with that.

However, I am truly learning the wonders of modern civilization. I miss toilets and toilet paper. I have to crouch in a bush and use some leaves. They never talk about this in fantasy stories. At least, not in the ones I looked at. 

Status time.

Name: Simon Harmes Vitality 70 Mana Capacity 104
Race: Human Strength 70 Intellect 80
Age: 16 Agility 75 Wisdom 80
Level: 8 Constitution 70 Perception 91
Titles: Affinities:
Blessed By God (L) Water
Hated By An Archangel (U) Light
  Darkness
  Poison
  Lightning
  Space-Time

Well would ya look at that. As a side note, my stealth leveled up as well. I was hoping for some kind of sword technique to be learned, but I guess poking blue bubbles and stabbing small animals isn't exactly difficult. But then I had a thought.

If this is so easy, isn't likely that normal people have status's even higher than mine? Even if it's more challenging for some, pretty much every mercenary worth a damn will have all their level's through the roof. That ain't good for me. If I want to make it to the town, I'll have to survive out here for a while first. Then, once I think I'm strong enough, I'll show up. That's probably for the best.

And thus, I began my life in the forest.

* * *

'Well, that ended quickly enough.'

This was a terribly thought out plan, I realized by the end of the night. I have a limited food supply, and I have no idea how to dismantle the rabbits and squirrels I've caught. I tried eating a bite of slime, but I ending up spitting it out. I gained a poison resistance skill from that though. I tried eating it again, but even though the poison didn't affect me, it tasted like shit. The more you know. 

I tried making a fire, but I didn't know the proper technique. I tried to do that thing where you spin a twig really fast to generate friction, and though it took a while, I managed to get it done in an hour. I bet it was because of my higher stats, which let me spin it faster or something. Maybe. I dunno, but I'm just glad to have fire.

I tried cutting apart a rabbit, and though it was pretty disgusting, I suffered through for the sake of food. I was going to be living in this world for a while, so I at least had to put in some effort when it comes to daily necessities. Ugh, effort. I tossed the intestines and skin to the side though, as I'm not sure how to cook with those, or use them. I took a stick, skewered what remained of a leg after my poor attempt at butchering, and cooked the it over the fire. Tried to do a slow roast, but I got impatient, and the outside burned while the inside remained raw. I ate it anyways. It tasted terrible. I wish I had salt.

I remembered afterwards that I forgot to drain the blood, so it was no wonder that it didn't smell so good. The power of knowing random facts from the internet has saved me from making the same mistakes again. 

I went to sleep under a tree. That was, until I was awakened by a presence. 

'Huh. Do I have a sixth sense now or something?'

I probably did. My perception was only a little behind my mana capacity, as my second highest stat, so it would make sense. (Eyy, now that's a pun.)

'Disregarding that, what the hell is that thing?'

There was some kinda boar monster sniffing around near my camp. As I observed it while trying not to move a muscle, I noticed that it was actually eating. Eating something I left out. 

'Did it come because of the intestines I left out? Is that thing a carnivore? Well, that ain't good. Time to pull the good old fashioned "Strategic Retreat" for now.'

I slowly got up, hoping that my level four stealth was good enough for the job. I slowly backed away from camp, and it didn't look up.

'That's good, I was expecting something to go wrong that would force me to fight the boar, and then we would have an epic showdown where I would eventually snag a narrow victory and defeat it, realizing how weak I was before vowing to get stronger so that I would never be pushed around like that. It's a good thing that didn't happen.'

I continued to back away into the bushes. 

'Yup. It's a good thing.'

I kept backing up.

'Most definitely.'

I stopped.

'Fuck it, I'll just go fight it already.'

I circled around the boar so that his back was to me. I crept up slowly, before stopping, realizing I didn't have a weapon equipped. What was the plan here, Simon, were you going to hug it to death? I was going to take out my sword, but then decided that a knife might be cooler for the whole assassin route. I used the knife from my belt, cause I didn't want to bend over to grab the other one on my ankle. Gotta be stylish as I murder this defenseless pig.

'Gotta aim for the eye. Or the jugular. How do I do that? This was not well thought out. Actually, do I even need to kill the pig? Maybe I can just make it my pet or something. I mean, it may not even be a threat...'

Fuck it, rabbit can't even compare in taste to bacon. Let's go for the eye. I walked up slowly behind the thing. When I was only a foot away, it stopped chewing, and stiffened. 

'Well, I could just stand here like a stick, afraid he's going to notice me, and let him see me. Or I could not act like a scaredy cat, take the initiative, and stab him. The one who strikes first wins!'

I jumped on his back, and plunged the dagger into his eye. The boar roared, and began to run. I was expecting squealing, but this ain't no pig. 

As it started to run, I pushed the dagger deeper into its socket, and it stopped, falling over and twitching. I pulled the knife out of it eye. It, and my hand, were coated in blood. Gross. I need to wash that shit off.

Well, now I have bacon. Before I forgot, I picked up the body, (Pretty light now. Guess my strength going up is real.) and propped it up against a tree upside down. I don't have any rope or vines or anything to hang it from a tree, so this will have to do. I then cut the neck, and left it there for a while.

'Wait, didn't the boar come here because it smelled rabbit blood? What if something stronger comes because it smells boar?'

I thought about it for a second. Then I smiled.

'Then I guess I'll kill it too. Better hide out in a tree, then.'

I scaled a tree nearby, and tried to go to sleep. I learned my lesson from sleeping on the ground. I'm never going to let something creep up on me like that again. I made sure to check my status before I slept though.

Name: Simon Harmes Vitality 75 Mana Capacity 110
Race: Human Strength 75 Intellect 85
Age: 16 Agility 80 Wisdom 85
Level: 9 Constitution 75 Perception 97
Titles: Affinities:
Blessed By God (L) Water
Hated By An Archangel (U) Light
  Darkness
  Poison
  Lightning
  Space-Time

 

Skills: Level:
The Chaos of a Joker (U) NA
Instant Cast (U)  NA
Language Comprehension (R)  NA
Item Box (S)  5
Stealth (C)  5
Dagger Technique (C) 2
Cooking (C) 1
Dismantling (C) 1
Poison Resistance (C) 1

 

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