Vol 3 Chapter 90 – Little Uncle, your mustache is slipping
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XH 90 - Little Uncle, your mustache is slipping

"It's clearly a foolish story," Long Lian retorted in disagreeable tone. "The story of the Third Prince and his maid is much more believable!"

Xiao Hua: '...' How is that so?

"Every first version of the stories is faulty! Listen to the second version, it's more believable! The Third Prince is worried about his younger brother and decided to send his personal maid to take care of the Eighth Prince! The maid is very caring and naturally, the Eighth Prince had fallen for her. The maid, unable to resist the Eighth Prince's doting attention, had also ended up falling for him! The Eighth Prince decided to find a rare beast to prove to everyone that he truly loves her!"

Xiao Hua: '...' The f*ck?

"Impossible! The Eighth bro - Prince should have his own servant to attend to his needs!"

"We, commoners don't know the truth anyway, but even if we managed to guess the truth, they won't come out and admit to it!"

Xiao Hua made a half-choking and half growling sounds, earning An Jing's worried gaze.

"What's the third version?" Long Lian demanded, her posture was the exact model of a battle-ready soldier.

"This..." Lord Song eyed Xiao Hua. "The third version is not suitable for kid's ears."

Xiao Hua: THE F*CK?! (╬ ̄皿 ̄)=○#( ̄#)3 ̄)

This lady wants to flip the table! Heise, the next time this young lady sees you, let's hope you are able to dodge well from my knives or you will say bye-bye to the living world!

"Is it violent and bloody?" Long Lian asked.

Xiao Hua: '...' I suspect its actually PG-18 but...

"Hah... little kid will need to start learning anyway so it's fine to hear it."

"Wait..." Xiao Hua was finally able to break out from her cage of silence and reached out to stop Lord Song but her voice ended up too soft.

"The Eighth Prince needs a lot of help as his mind isn't working right. That includes bathing him! But his body has needs like any growing boy and that maid accidentally awaken the beast with her sensual caress! She took advantage of it, seducing and dominating him in bed! With her voluptuous body, it's easy for the innocent prince to fall onto her trap!"

"…I want to vomit." Xiao Hua's face was already turning into a light shade of green. Who would want to do the deed with that kid?! And since when do I have a voluptuous body!

"That's enough, Lord Song," An Jing cut in. She had allowed him to continue his storytelling earlier as the princess and Xiao Hua wanted to listen to it.

But the third version was not appropriate for the younger ladies to listen to. Xiao Hua looked sick and Long Lian's face was spotted with a faint blush. Tang Mei's face was red as well, and occasionally sneaking glances at Xiao Hua with knowing eyes.

Xiao Hua: '...' This is slander! Flips table!!! ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻

Spotting a guy waving a hand to get his attention, Lord Song stared at them apologetically, "What a timing, my friends are here and looking for me. Do you want to arrange a day to listen to the story in detail?"

"There's no need for that, Lord Song," An Jing declined. "The stories are not suited for my young," the word 'young' was emphasized, "masters. Thank you, Lord Song, for indulging with my young masters' curiosity."

Lord Song grinned, looking like a scoundrel. "I was once their age after all." He stood up and stretched. "Little Uncle, your mustache is slipping."

Long Lian's hand quickly flew to her mustache, where the edge of it was hanging loosely. Tang Mei quickly helped her princess to stick the mustache back. Lord Song laughed and walked away with a back wave.

The tea arrived at the same time with the dishes, but Xiao Hua could not find her appetite. Her mind was still on the vile stories starring her and the Eighth Prince. She had heard of what happened during Long Lian's birthday banquet and how the Eighth Prince had shocked everyone with the cow and his bold announcement of giving it to Xiao Hua.

She really should have expected people would gossip about it, especially in this time period where people do not have many hobbies to occupy their free time.

An Jing's movement was quick and does not draw attention as she poked silver needles into each dish, checking for poison. After confirming the food and drinks were safe, she poured the tea into the empty cups for her young masters.

Xiao Hua absent-mindedly watched An Jing’s movement and silently thought to herself that the checking would be useless if it was the surface of the cup that has poison.

"Hmph! Obviously it's third brother that's better suited with Xiao Hua," Long Lian grumped under her breath as she waited for Tang Mei to fill her bowl with fried rice.

They had opted not to order in a large portion, planning to save more space in their stomach for snacks when they stroll around the street.

"Young master, are the dishes not to your liking?" An Jing asked when Xiao Hua did not pick up her spoon to eat the fried rice that An Jing had scooped onto the bowl.

"Sorry, I'm just thinking about something..." Xiao Hua picks up her spoon and stared at the dark brown fried rice that seems to be cooked with some sort of dark sauce.

The rice was small and oily, not at all appetizing like Xiao Hua's fried rice and Long Lian agreed after trying a bite.

"This tasted nothing like your fried rice. It's even worse than the fried rice I've eaten at home." Long Lian placed down her chopstick and picked up a spoon to try the frog porridge and immediately put down her spoon after a small bite.

Curious about the princess' reaction, Xiao Hua scooped some porridge to taste it. "Hmm, it's pretty okay."

The look when Long Lian stared at Xiao Hua was filled with sympathy. Her future sister-in-law was never choosy when it comes to food. Sighing with disappointment, Long Lian picked up her teacup and took a sip. Unconsciously frowning, she took another sip before stopping.

"I apologize, Lord Lian. It seems that this servant's information was not accurate." An Jing would have stood up and kneel for forgiveness but it would not be appropriate at their current place.

Noticing Long Lian's dislike towards the tea, Xiao Hua tasted the tea and found nothing wrong with it.

"What's wrong with the tea?" Xiao Hua asked curiously.

The pity in Long Lian's eyes grew pronounced as she stared at Xiao Hua.

Xiao Hua, who recognized that look, wanted to facepalm herself. Le XiaoTing was not a tea expert and as long as the tea was not bitter, she will drink it.

"Don't drink low-grade tea, little brother." Long Lian took the teacup that was still in Xiao Hua's hand and put it down on the table. "Let's leave. The food here is terrible." She had not tasted the lotus root soup, but she knew it would taste terrible as well.

"It would be a waste of food!" Xiao Hua protested.

"Young Master, you do not need to force yourself to eat them." An Jing coaxed, treating her just like a child.

"They don't taste that bad," Xiao Hua insisted. "I could not say about the fried rice but the frog porridge is pretty good."

"Ah Hua-"

"Ah Lian, if we leave with barely eaten food, the manager would think something is wrong with their dishes or with their service."

"There is something wrong with their dish."

"No, there's nothing wrong with these dishes," Xiao Hua said, almost pleading for Long Lian to understand. "Ah Lian, to the commoners, this standard is already the best they had ever tasted."

Long Lian's eyes slowly widened in understanding before it turned to guilt. "I'm sorry. I'm being picky and demanding, aren't I?"

Xiao Hua grinned in relief. "A bit, but then you got the right to be, with who you are... Can you wait until I finish off the porridge and tea?"

Sorry fried rice, but this young lady is afraid my stomach won't be able to stand your oiliness!

"I- I will eat too!" Long Lian picked up her spoon and starts eating the fried rice.

Xiao Hua could have stopped her but she just grinned and leave her be. "Sis- I mean, An Jing, Tang Mei, why don't you eat too?" She faintly nodded her head at the struggling Long Lian.

Tang Mei quickly started scooping up fried rice onto an extra bowl. "I will eat too!"

"This will be the only time you are allowed to," Long Lian warned her maid. Servants were not allowed to eat with their master, much less sharing food, but the food in front of her must be wiped clean!

Xiao Hua scooped the lotus root soup from the large pot until it filled up the empty small bowl and passed it to An Jing. "Have some soup as well! Your throat must be dry."

An Jing's smile was especially warm and gentle and she accepted the bowl. "Thank you, young master."

"...You know, I can pretend to be as Ah Lian's servant..."

"No! Today, you will be my younger brother!" Long Lian insisted. Even if she does not get to call Xiao Hua as 'sister' now, it would satisfy her to call Xiao Hua as her little brother!

"It would have been more believable if you get rid of the mustache..."

"Is this mustache that bad?" Long Lian whined. She loves the mustache as it was fun.

"It's unhygienic if you don't clean it after eating." Xiao Hua blurted out as she remembered seeing a foreigner eating, with most of his food consumed by his thick, long beard.

"Huh?"

Trying to cover her randomness, she changed the topic. "Nothing. The mustache makes you look older and do you remember what Lord Song called you? He thought you are my uncle."

Long Lian: '...' Don't want to remember! (ಠ o ಠ)¤=[]:::::>

Long Lian ripped off the fake mustache with annoyance and tossed it aside, which Tang Mei quickly picked up to be disposed of later.

"Call me big brother!"

Xiao Hua giggled as she obediently called, "Yes, big brother."

Like Xiao Hua had expected, the manager was shocked when he saw the beard-less Long Lian when they – it's An Jing actually - paid for their food.

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