Our race has been around for a pretty long time by now.

If I had to make a qualified guess, I would guess it to be in the hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions of years of hard-fought survival.

How have we survived for so long?

Well, we use our intelligence, our science, our logic, to create miracles, and to solve the mysteries of the endless universe.

And perhaps, unlike some other civilisations, we learn from our past mistakes and fix whatever problems we may have in order to come out even stronger!

Everyone is here for a purpose, and we are here to learn the truth, to solve the mysteries, and to keep on living...for eternity.

That sounds very dramatic if I do say so myself.

It has kind of become our civilisations motto after we became known throughout the galaxy.

Most of the galaxy's inhabitants know about us since, about 25 000 years ago, where our ancestors conquered a fourth of the galaxy with the use of our technology.

They could've probably conquered more if they were sly, but the remaining three-fourths of the galaxy threatened to make an alliance against our race...and even for us, that would've meant extinction, and it still does.

So our ancestors did the most sensible thing, which was to enter a peace- and profit treaty meant to maintain peace, and earn all the civilisations profit by developing safer trading routes.

Oh, now that you remind me, I completely forgot to introduce myself!

Where have my manners gone?

My name is Alex Lloyd, a 57-year-old award-winning scientist, specialising in cosmic radiation and unknown cosmic energies, UCE for short. (A/N: Huge disclaimer right here...I know absolutely nothing about science at all, so most of this will probably just be jibberish and not have any relation to what actual science is, so don't take any of this as the truth as it most likely will  not be...)

For the past twenty years or so, I've been researching my fathers' secret journal, explaining how our ancestors found an extremely potent, powerful and dangerous UCE back when their technology was what we would call...handicapped.

Back then they named it as the Curse of Destruction.

Yes, I know, it sounds cheesy as hell, but what can I say? Perhaps their brains weren't that developed, or they just had an extremely bad naming sense...just like a certain someone. (A/N: *cough* not me *cough*)

His journal however also mentions that that was well over 50 000 years ago when they hadn't even developed proper rocket science yet.

So the big question remains...how in the flooping hell did their technologically handicapped instruments pick up on a UCE when some of our equipment even to this date sometimes struggles to do so?

You know, it may be that we simply give them too little credit for how developed their technology was, but my brain simply can't imagine how poorly made their equipment must've been.

But, maybe it wasn't that poorly made since it did pick up that UCE...that godforsaken UCE, that I've been trying to track down for the past 20 years!

I mean, how hard can it be to actually find this?!

I've looked at the star patterns drawn in the journal...I've looked at the data and coordinates it was found in...and last of all, I've looked through the entire god damn galaxy but NOTHING about this UCE has ever appeared on any of my devices!

I've even had to resort to the galactic black market to look for any clues or data as to what that UCE is, and where it could be, but I've come out empty-handed!

I'm slowly beginning to believe that all about this UCE was just one big hoax my ancestors made to trouble their future generations...

However, suddenly I'm interrupted by a familiar beeping sound that rings throughout the laboratory.

One I'm all too familiar with and extremely annoyed with.

Once again, my now malfunctioning equipment is telling me it's found a UCE closely resembling the one my ancestors found...but you know what?

For the past 1000+ times, it's done that, it's just some disturbances out in space, resulting in the equipment turning out faulty results.

I slowly drag myself out of the cushions and walk over to the ultra highly developed faulty technology piece of sh*t equipment I used most of my fortune to buy...and what can I say, except;

「Huh?!」

FlowerOfEternity

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed :P

Not gonna say much more than that, other than I'll probably ruin your day with another shitty joke :D

Chapter-ly Joke:

What did the left buttock, say to the right buttock?

Spoiler

There's been so much shit between us, don't you think?

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