A thought pops into my mind, a sense of self coalesces as slowly I wake from what feels like an eternal sleep.

Its dark.

 

"Ugh, did I drink that much last night?"

 

I try to open my eyes, to rub my face or slap my cheeks

It doesn’t work, I have no eyes to open, no cheeks to slap or hands to slap them with.

Strangely, I don't panic; the part of me that can panic seems absent, gone to the same place as my other missing pieces.

Without form or substance, I am suspended in a void. 

 

Cold

 

Empty

 

Void

 

That’s all there is for an infinite distance in all directions; assuming distance is even a meaningful concept here.

I come upon the most dreadful realization

 

"I am alone."

 

Nothing is left for me to do but think.

 

"Am I dead?"

 

"I don’t remember dying."

 

"Then… where am I?"

 

"Come to think of it, I don’t remember living; but I must have, right?"

 

"Who am I?"

 

I get the sense that I’m waiting for something, and so I do, but to no avail.

No stars, no lights at the end of any tunnels, no angelic messengers or great revelations come to me.

Just... nothing for a very long time, then again I don’t have anything to measure time with.

Only after I begin to resign myself to this eternal empty nothingness does a single flicker of hope materialize.

A voice that isn’t a voice asks me a question.

[Who are you?]

 

"My name? I… I remember."

 

"I am Amber."

 

[What colour is your hair?]

 

"I… don’t know?"

 

[Do you enjoy the sunrise?]

 

"Yes."

 

[Have you ever had your heart broken?]

 

"I don’t remember."

 

…

 

It goes like this for a long time, questions heard by ears that are not there and answers spoken without a mouth. 

I don’t know the answer to all of them, I come up blank on my last name, my birthday, a great many things just aren’t within me.

 

[What is your favorite color?]

 

"I don’t remember."

 

In a way, it’s very fun; at least when compared to the ultimate solitude I’ve been existing within. The queries range from benign to strange and downright intrusive but I try to answer all of them for fear that the voice would go away and I would be left alone again.

 

[What is your greatest fear?]

 

A strange question, on the surface its ‘being left alone again’ but the more I think about it, the more I’m certain that’s not it; from deep inside me something more visceral rises to the surface, a bubbling rage and terror.

 

"Being taken advantage of, being controlled, being used, being told who and what to be."

 

The final question is close, just a few more now. I can’t tell you how I know that, but I’m sure of it and it fills me with terror.

 

[What do you wish for, more than anything?]

 

"Freedom and Power."

...

"Freedom to choose where and how to live, to be whoever and whatever I want to be and enough Power to never let anyone take it from me."

 

[Process is 23% Complete - All vital functions restored]

 

[Initializing]

Suddenly I feel myself taking shape; I have mass and with it comes weight and gravity as well as a sensation of something underfoot. A solid platform supporting me in the otherwise empty nothingness.

I open and close my eyes, relishing in the fact that I even have them and trace the shape of my body in the darkness.

The world explodes into light and sound, I hear an orchestral score and see… beauty; it's like someone is painting a masterpiece around me. The world comes together as if leaping from a paintbrush with me standing on an oddly solid portion of nothing and still somehow soaring above it all.

My view sweeps over a sparkling crystal sea, a pearly white sand beach, over forests and hills and plains filled with flowers and and wild wheat.

I am transfixed, so very overwhelmed by the sudden influx of sensory information after existing in a void for so long. The world seems to be an untouched paradise and I merely an invisible watcher blown along with the wind.

Words can’t begin to do it justice.

 

[Good morning Amber, and welcome to Aonus]

 

The feeling of transcendent joy is fading pretty quickly after reading through the message. It paints a pretty grim picture of the grand structure of existence and summoning up a new emotion within me.

Anger.

After reading the message a number of thoughts go through my head, many of them the sort that even I wouldn’t repeat in polite company, the following sums it up pretty clearly though.

“They fucked up and destroyed the universe.”

“They fucked up and destroyed my universe.”

“There are other universes.”

“How are these assholes in charge of multiple realities?”

“23%. I’m only 23% me. Is that why I can’t remember my birthday? My last name!?" 

“How long was I sitting in… that nowhere place?”

“What the fuck is a ‘cycle’ and how long is it?!”

“Reincarnation is real?!”

“I better get some kick ass ‘bonuses’.”

“Deep down, I hope that someone, somewhere lost their job for this.”

After a minute of silent meditation and deep breathing, I stand up, noting that my confused and angry questions aren’t cutting it for ‘confirming’ that I’ve read this little message, so I went ahead and said it.

“Confirmed, but I want it on record however that I don’t like this shit one bit.”

Immediately after that a screen of blue pops up and slowly populates with information; when I say slowly, I mean slowly.

 

This is as much as it’s loaded in... eleven hours.

The sky has gone dark and I’ve long since been desensitized to the once awe inspiring view; though studying the unfamiliar stars and the pair of moons did keep me distracted for some time.

“Is this gonna take a lot longer? I’m almost excited to get started with this new world business… granted this is probably not going to be like the web novels; I definitely don't remember them having two day long loading screens.”

No response of course.

“I mean I’m making a lot of assumptions here, but I’m guessing humans are a ‘thing’ here and probably have a pseudo-medieval society. In that case I’m probably going to spend most of my life… farming? I'm not sure I have a whole lot of relevant skills...”

I let my mind wander and imagined scenes of heroism with myself slotted into the position of the protagonist, sword held aloft; recognizing the inherent ridiculousness, I quickly dismiss them.

"Yeah, not happening; being realistic I might be able to make an okay living cooking somewhere; but all of that is pointless to think about now because I'm gonna be sitting here for another thirty-fucking-six hours waiting..."

No hesitation.

"Holy fucking shit yes, lets get this show on the road!"

Seconds after the words leave my lips I feel myself plummeting to the world below, invisible carpet swept out from under me. Like a meteor I plunge down towards the ground and have a surprising amount of time to think.

On some level, I knew something like this was gonna happen, but I'm still angry about it.

Somewhere along the way I just sort of flicker out and by the time I know what’s happening I’m standing in the center of a small ramshackle camp.

I pop into existence at an odd angle a few feet off the ground and knock over a cauldron of stew, dousing the small fire that was the only major source of light.

By the guttering glow of the steaming coals I can see several small figures, childlike in height but oddly proportioned… their eyes glint like a cat’s in the dark and they seem just as surprised as I am about this turn of events.

“Uh… hi, I’m sorry about yo-”

Before I'm done with that thought, one of them points at me in shrieks in wordless fury; it's other hand reaching for something in the shadows that reveals itself to be a foot and a half long bladed implement.

"Okay so... lets talk this out, no need to..."

More blades are drawn and they glint evilly in the moonlight as the crowd closes in; I find myself backing up slowly as they approach.

"I'm almost certain this isn't the prelude to a friendly welcome..."

Hovering text appears in my vision as one approaches helpfully informing me that it is a level 37 [Goblin Blackheart Thrall]

“Lets… just stay calm here… wait fuck can you even understand me?”

“Oril necor... kass’at!”

"I take it that's a no."

"Ah... fuck..."

A few more careful steps and swift kick sends a cauldron and a cloud of smoldering ashes flying in the direction of my would be assailants, giving me just the opening I need to turn tail and run.

[Critical Hit - Targets Blinded]

Behind me I hear a loud clang and a chorus of furious screams, in any other situation I might stop to celebrate a critical, because well... who wouldn't?

As I am now however, I barely have the spare seconds to check my footing as I rush through the briers and scramble off into the unknown darkness.

"Oh why don't you fuck right off..."

---