The whole premise of the story is intriguing as well. But that should have been a fore warning.
Much of the story is contrived. The MC is "Forced" into certain positions.
This story also suffers from missing information. Constantly I have seen aspects referencing knowledge characters shouldn't have without any excuse given.
The MC has had items/tools built, bit we don't even know of their existence until they are whipped out for use. Never are the tools mentioned prior, leaving a heavy plot armor type feel to the story.
And lastly, tangents. Far too many tangents exist and go on for far too long. These tangents aren't even well done. These tangents suffer from excessive monologs as well.
All in all, I'm disappointed. The author Constantly uses monologs as info dumps telling the audience vs showing them.
Conversations are completely unnatural, with the wrong questions asked and the important ones never even asked or even thought to be asked. Giving the book a truly contrived feeling.
Many tangents are never followed up on. Like the warning to shield, was not followed up on and completely forgotten.
Little things like that leave the audience unsatisfied.
And finally repetitions. I could probably cut the word count in half, by removing all the repetitions and monologs that are useless, and the double the word count by fixing the conversations and completing the scenes that are left incomplete.
This is great so far. Nothing groundbreaking for an MCU story atm, but it's very solid. I like how the story has progressed, the author is not afraid to let their MC just be a good guy and put forward some effort to make the world a better place, (This is honestly a bit rare in my findings). So far there's a very good update schedule, I hope the author is able to keep it up because I'm excited to see where this story goes!
The G Shield –
What does the “G” in the name stand for? Who knows? Maybe you’ll find out in the story or you won’t, we will all see.
Alright, here is the deal – The story is, as usual, a self insert
Ben was having the worst day of his life—then he died. But instead of moving on to whatever comes next, he woke up in the Wizarding World as Benedict Brown, the alternate male version of Lavender Brown. Which is… concerning, because Lavender
The grammar is fine and so is the world building.
The whole premise of the story is intriguing as well. But that should have been a fore warning.
Much of the story is contrived. The MC is "Forced" into certain positions.
This story also suffers from missing information. Constantly I have seen aspects referencing knowledge characters shouldn't have without any excuse given.
The MC has had items/tools built, bit we don't even know of their existence until they are whipped out for use. Never are the tools mentioned prior, leaving a heavy plot armor type feel to the story.
And lastly, tangents. Far too many tangents exist and go on for far too long. These tangents aren't even well done. These tangents suffer from excessive monologs as well.
All in all, I'm disappointed. The author Constantly uses monologs as info dumps telling the audience vs showing them.
Conversations are completely unnatural, with the wrong questions asked and the important ones never even asked or even thought to be asked. Giving the book a truly contrived feeling.
Many tangents are never followed up on. Like the warning to shield, was not followed up on and completely forgotten.
Little things like that leave the audience unsatisfied.
And finally repetitions. I could probably cut the word count in half, by removing all the repetitions and monologs that are useless, and the double the word count by fixing the conversations and completing the scenes that are left incomplete.
Read More
This is great so far. Nothing groundbreaking for an MCU story atm, but it's very solid. I like how the story has progressed, the author is not afraid to let their MC just be a good guy and put forward some effort to make the world a better place, (This is honestly a bit rare in my findings). So far there's a very good update schedule, I hope the author is able to keep it up because I'm excited to see where this story goes!
Read More