So, I'll preface this by saying I think I've read enough to be able to give a fair and impartial review. 

Overall, the story is enjoyable. It does it's job in drawing the reader in and making them want to continue reading. There is enough being hinted at that would make it worthwhile to continue following the story. And there's just enough hints at a previous, connected story to stoke the interest of a reader and possibly get them to go back and read previous books. 

The only real issues I have with the novel is the execution. Your first handful of chapters suffer from some redundancy in your sentences and word choice, making the reading experience a bit clunky from the beginning. Some of the sentence structure doesn't quite flow properly and makes me, as a reader, second guess the intent behind what's being said. 

Mainly in your first few chapters, you get a bit too verbose and heavy handed with your descriptions. I appreciate that you want to lay out a proper setting for the reader, but it gets really close to purple prose and comes off like you're trying to overwhelm the reader with your vocabulary. There's nothing wrong with having a robust vocabulary but you can show your command of the language without being too wordy. 

Lastly, and this is a point that all of us writers struggle with, is proper syntax application and balancing our writing. This is more on the side of proofreading because it's hard to proofread your own work and not become blind to your own mistakes. The only reason I'd suggest getting fresh eyes on your work during the editing process is to have an outside view that won't be desensitized to the mistakes that slip through the cracks. And this is a natural occurrence for all writers, we are only human and can only catch so many of our own mistakes.  

The more you write, the better your command of the craft becomes. I'm a firm believer in that and I believe the author has room to grow and the potential to do so. The base foundation of an interesting, well thought out story and world are already there. You just need that extra bit to be tightened up and then you'll be golden. 

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A good story so far. I don't go for darker fictions full of killing, but the storytelling is really good! You put a lot of consideration into what you're writing.  Right now it's pretty bittersweet.  I won't comment on anything that specifically happens so I won't spoil.I'm curious about where it will go.  Grammar and spelling and whatnot aren't the most important thing. It's the journey that matters most.

My bias tells me that I like a happy ending, but that won't affect how I evaluate the work.  It's just great so far. The characters are interesting, they have clear motivations so far.  The evil characters aren't evil for the sake of being murderous.  There is a clear goal.  The MC is sympathetic as of Chapter VII. There's a great deal of Tragedy here, so you might want to consider adding it, but since it's not a main point of the eventual story-line, it'd probably be unnecessary.

Why does it deserve 5 stars?  Simply because it keeps the interest of the reader, even someone who doesn't appreciate the type of story. That in itself is worth the stars. Keep up the good work! You will rise. =^.~=

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OP loli go BRRRR~!

Cookies go AAAAHH~! *Crunch*

OP loli go *munch munch*

Poor cookies, OP loli consumed their doughy flesh ravenously.

Oh, and the story is aight too.

Assurbanipal as a writer, at least for Schwarz, is a person of few words but picked very very carefully. Too carefully imho, loosen up! Be free! #FreeTheWriter

Personally, I think it's an excuse to hide all the innocent cookies that were harmed in the making of the story. #FreeTheCookies

If you like OP loli, and you like them go BRRRR and bad guys go zoom, splat, squish, surprise blood puddle, and are not adverse to blatant cookie massacre, you might like this story.

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This is a horror story. The tale of a monster dressed in a little girl’s body that preys on cookies. You can truly feel the pain of the cookies demise. Cookies are not one-dimensional victims. I wept for their loss.

Alright, beyond the jokes, it’s a fun story. If I tried to describe things without spoiling I’d say, some bad guys tried to ruin a prestigious family by killing their daughter, and they kicked an iron plate.

There are a couple of chapters that made me feel pretty bad for the “MC”, so there is character building. And there is a decent amount of comedy thrown in, but not forced comedy, it just feels natural. 

There are some new characters added that look like they’ll be fun as well. So I’d seriously give it a shot if anyone’s on the fence about reading it. 

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What can I say?  This is one great story.

But, of course, no great story is without flaws.  My negative feedback would be, some paragraphs or lines of the chapter have missing punctuations, and I noticed some 'incomplete' sentences too.  I'd also suggest in using synonyms for the redundant words.

However, don't let these things hinder you from enjoying Aurora's story.

Now on to the positives.  

1) I don't know, but I can't help but root for Aurora.  Mister Author did a great job in writing her character, and really, I felt like she whatever she did to her enemies is justified.  (I tried my best not to spoil... sorry).

2) Also, the chapters are written in short, 'easy-to-digest' parts, without sacrificing the flow of the story.  I am a fast reader, and I breezed through the current chapters without missing anything... while at the same time, I'm feeling that I shouldn't miss anything!

3) The pace would surely hook you.  I just kept on hitting the 'Next' button, and then was surprised when I finally reached the end.  Yep, I want more!

Overall, Schwarz is a great read.  Mister Author surely did a good job in writing this story, and here's to me hoping for more chapters!

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Good and funny story that I definitely recommend. The character Aurora is very good and loveable and the doll is even more. This story is on my watch list for more updates because it feels that this story need about 1000ch to conclude because the chapters are in the short side and the story is in a slow pace but without a doubt the series is promising and very recomended.

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I really love the story. It's not complicated and direct to the point. Plot-wise: The story is awesome. I can see the plot moving with each chapter. No fillers - every chapter has its own meaning to progress the story. Character: Aurora will literally make you smile and giggle from time to time. Nevertheless, I do hope that it doesn't get clogged with too much comedy. Just a little spice of it is enough. Too much is also bad. Grammar: A few errors on the way, but hey no biggie. Every author makes mistakes. Just a little insight for readers - Authors in SH doesn't have a full-time editor or proof-reader. So, meh. Overall: It's neat and clean. A treat and a goody. A nice adventure comedy - a remedy for your a stone-faced silly.

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I really like this story and hope it continues.  Like someone else said there is some weird parts that could use some editing but it doesn't ruin anything.  I started reading the first few chapters and though "Hey I am interested in what happens next."  And after making it to the end of the published stuff I still think: "I want to know what happens next."

In my opinion that is enough for 5 stars.  If there is enough 5 star reviews then it'll have to continue right?

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