By cathfach
When a Creature of the Void fails to find friendship among her own kind, she instead sets her sights upon another, human-filled world. Unfortunately, humans turn out to be rather small and squishy things, resulting in a mostly accidental trail of
I started off loving this story. A guy who becomes absorbed into becoming a villain in a game. It was funny, it was creative, it twisted clichés on their heads. It was written well.
It slowly dropped. The plot became less thrilling, less fun, less chaotic. It became hard to read. The story became less about the villain coming up with creative means to troll others, and more about the guy who has problems with his life and some issues with the game company. Don't misunderstand, the story is still well written and entertaining, however, it seemed... lacking.
I feel I was hyped up for a new movie, only to be shown a power point presentation. Despite the power point presentation being world class, the expectation of a movie created disappointment and boredom.
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This story is a bit of a jab at the serious VR stories out there, the MC is guy who just plays for fun in a revolutionary game where everyone is competing for supremacy, the jokes are fun, the characters are interesting and the fights are cool. Overall an entertaining read
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Atm I'm writing this review, this fiction has 60 ratings with the average of 4.9 stars. I can tell that this is absolutely well deserved.
The story flows very smoothly. There are no high stakes or crazy drama but it's still very engaging and easy to get immersed in. All the characters and the interactions between them feel alive and the small little details really fall into place to paint the whole picture.
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While I'm glad that the author got a contract with amazon and was able to get paid, getting invested in a story only to find out that if I want to read the first three books I have to buy them elsewhere is giving me some serious litterary blue balls.
Great for you, author. Less great for casual scribblehub readers.
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Absolutely the best novel I have ever read on this site.
Granted, it's not perfect and there are quite a few plot holes in terms of reasoning for characters to do things and even a few forgotten gadgets.
But hey, compared to other trash infesting this site, like "Refining the rivers and mountains." where the writer constantly gives the character items that can solve specific problems, only to forget them entirely when said problem pops up.
This writer almost never forgets to make use of their chekhov's guns. And boy, do they have a lot of them. And it's brilliant.
The Jacques were an absolute delight to read about, their antics literally, and I do mean literally. Almost killed me with laughter. I legit almost died from the amount of laughter they caused me in the earlier chapters. I have asthma FYI.
I would highly recommend that anyone looking to actually enjoy their time spent reading, to pick up this novel.
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This is a wonderful Lrpg, without number crunching and stats but with things that make gaming fun for me. Roleplaying and menus and games. It's even better is that it's VR and doesn't have all that meta garbage of typing on keyboards and hand-fastness or min-maxing. It's a monument to good storytelling and characterization, I love the MC and each of the characters around him. They seem to enhance and feed into each other rather than the center of the universe revolving around the MC. Since they each their own goals and reasons why they play, all in all, I can't wait to continue reading.
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I have to say, this novel has been one of the most entertaining reads I have come across, ever.
I love the way that the MC comes up with and interacts with the mechanics of this game.
Of course, if you aren't a fan of roleplaying or really anything pertaining to superpowers, I still suggest you give this a read. It might just give you a surprise.
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I have to say, while this story is very fun, and is extremely narmy in the charming sort of way, it also is very flawed from a narrative and character perspective.
To start with, while Dr. Zlo (the player character and roleplay persona) is great, we very rarely see much of the player behind the character. There's also a very poorly signposted timeskip between the opening six chapters and the start of what I would tentatively describe as the "first episode". I was hoping we'd see Dr. Zlo rise to become the supervillain he is, but there's what amounts to a jump cut and suddenly he has minions, an airship, and a army of... robots? Clones? I'm not quite sure, the Jacques aren't properly elaborated on, and therefore I'm unsure what they're meant to be.
Pretty much as soon as this jump cut, the status of the world as a video game is largely forgotten, and I don't think it's ever mentioned if Dylan ever logs out? At least within the first two arcs, it seems that Dylan has been just continuously playing the game without stopping, and this raises some serious questions about his health in the real world. Is he eating? Is he getting any water? Has he logged out and gotten any sort of excercise since he started playing? It's fine to have all of these things happen off-screen, even if that then results in a loss of opportunities for character development and growth outside the game, but it's never even mentioned within those first thirty four chapters.
Structure wise, the story isn't too great either. Each chapter clocks in at a average of about 1.6k words, which is way too short for my taste. The chapters are also formatted wonkily, with a lot of the paragraph spacings being inconsistant on a chapter to chapter basis, and it would be generous to call them paragraphs in the first place. Most chapters have a very skeletal approach to painting a description of the world, the characters, and the events taking place, with the largest paragraphs being maybe two or three sentences long. There is such a thing as being too attached to your enter key, and if I had to make a guess, I would say the author is very deeply in love with that button.
Realistically, this story could do with a rewrite to increase the granularity of the detail and make a number of the elements clearer. It could also do with a full reedit to ensure formatting consistency, and to also make the absurd number of carriage returns less excessive.
3/5, fun plots, extremely charming; but the characters are static, the world is poorly described and lifeless, and the story has poor formatting and layout.
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i quit reading this a while back because I felt that the authors intent with the story misaligned with what I wanted from it and expected when I started
anyways 10/10 amazing sh*t great start but it starts to feel really slowed down later
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Not going to lie, I was kind of frustrated that Dr. Zlo have to return the alien mothership despite how much efforts put in the plan, and also Thomas who almost put the entire city under his control but the company say no.
Despite that though, I enjoy the read and the author clearly know what he was doing. Keep it up!
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