The dialogue is still written in the most basic form of connotation lines, and is at times burdensome to get through, since there are no breaks in between not only sentences of the same characters, but even when they switch back and forth. I cannot stress it enough, that just by using proper writing techniques for dialogues this novel might become a leap better. Also, there's little point to repeat same points in the conversations between same characters - just make a summary instead of making characters do it.

I, generally, do not like a 1st person viewpoint since it limits what can be done in terms of character expression outside said viewpoint, and just jumping those back and forth doesn't help to preserve the structure. At this point, rather write from a 3rd person perspective, this way showing what different characters do at roughly same time is way easier.

The world so far seems decently thought out, so far (ch28). I have to say, it was nice for once to see a proper lord in charge, not your generic greedy fat bastard (c'mon, they always were a minority, if no one was there to do the job, then no country would've lasted). Even spoiled snobby nobles still could do their duties, at least so that their fief won't cease to exist, and as such - their wealth.

There was also a weird bit with MC still having skin over what is supposed to be an exoskeleton. I do not believe chitin would provide enough space for vascular system, and as such the skin would've died off. Except for joints, the exoskeleton tends to have very little openings, and squezing all of the necessary vasculatory vessels through joints would've quickly deteorated their outer walls. Considering I've seen some notice from author about descriptions of nudity (which is kind of questionable, considering this novel seems to aim at teenage auditory), having a feature-less outer structure sounds as a better choice over whatever mess it is supposed to be now. Especially with weapons embedded into that exoskeleton, I'm still confused, why would you have skin over it. This design makes sense on an arthropod (and is not even that incorrect for queens of some spicies to have some sort of self defence that is not reliant on drones), but not on a mammal.

But overall, it's decent and has potential to be polished into a better, more elegant and easier to comprehend structure. Maybe tone down the dialogues as well, as I mentioned, sometimes the same thing gets repeated multiple times, and is a potential time saver while writing. Making your characters' words count yet still forming into a proper live-like (I want to highlight "LIKE", as no dialogue in a book will ever be 100% what someome would say in real world, since our speech tends to have a lot of irrelevant or unimportant information, which in case of a written story just cripples the pacing) conversation is an important skill.

Edit: Repeating last! This review was deemed obsolete. Skthveraachk-thinker in charge has been compromised. Deviancy. Frenzy! Reassinging task to operable thinker-units. Informational value recalculated. New corrections introduced by thinkers of Skthveraachk-colony.

Formite colony represented has severe deviancy and frenzy implications introduced by foreign brooding queen. Suggested non-aggressive course of action: exile. Recommended - purge of all contaminants and units in direct contact to them. Afterwards! Quarantine of all units utilized for purge to prevent further spread of frenzy.

Recieved! Brooding queen is incapable of adaptation. Is deemed worthy by the War Queen of the Formicea-colony to accomplish her role. Inefficient. Drone deviancy rate too high.

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Juniomanes

Status: chapter 89

Jun 27, 2022

It's a very fun novel to read. Especially when we see the interactions between MC, swarm and humans. Very recommended.

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The_Guest_with_no_rest

Status: a peaceful day

Feb 6, 2022

I really like this story.

Most of the good things I could say are already said in former reviews, so check them out as well, but I have to praise Formicea at least a little bit myself.

Love the characters, love the world setting and I love that the story takes enough time for the reader to learn about both. The unusual and interesting world of the swarm is a pleasant change to the conventional fantasy settings. Also the reaction of the human society to the swarm is very well done. Instead of the usual good VS evil we get characters with comprehensible motivations. It is really hard to pick a side, in the end you are somehow inclined to root for both sides.

The writing as such is good. It's nice to follow which character is talking in which language, for example.

10/10

One of those stories I couldn't stop reading. Would definitively read again.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Thx for sharing your story with us, expentio.

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