Obinai never expected greatness.
Burdened by self-doubt and haunted by past traumas, Obinai’s life takes a drastic turn when cracks begin to form in the ground before Nurikabe—a colossal wall of unknown origin that has always separated humanity from what lies beyond. No one knows what’s on the other side. Most have stopped asking.
As horrifying experiences cling to him with growing intensity, Obinai is thrust into an unforgiving society where survival is conditional: either he masters essence at Elona Academy, or he is executed. The academy is no sanctuary—only a place where failure carries fatal consequences.
Amidst relentless training and harrowing visions, fragments of truth begin to surface. Not just about humanity, but about the world itself—its layered past, its conflicting stories, and its buried contradictions. More than one story exists. More than one truth. More than one lie.
And as the veil between worlds grows thin, Obinai must confront the darkness that stirs within him… and choose whether to embrace his fate, or be devoured by it.
What To Expect:
- Slow burn until Chapter 7
- Some gore
- A structured power system (I'm trying)
Updates: Once a week
Short review because I'm on a tight schedule.
My fears were valid, I couldn't even make it past Chapter 1. Even just the prologue was a battle and a half. There is just too much filler. Even if I wasn't sleep-deprived, my head would start spinning just reading the first two paragraphs.
In the first chapter alone, you made 3445 words feel like 10000, all in advance. And your formatting is strange too. For some reason, you group dialogue and narration which makes for huge text blocks. It creates a very poor reading experience.
Your analogies are great, but I'd bet they were AI generated like much of the narration. And your "updated" character dialogue hasn't gotten any better from Tempokai's analysis. The only reason I'm giving you 2 stars instead of 1 is because your concept has potential and you are obviously trying to improve.
One final word of advice: just because you spent a long time on a story doesn't mean it's going to be a masterpiece.
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