I read the first five chapters, and here is my impression. Overall, the story is okay. The plot is good, unique, has room to develop, and is interesting. However, one glaring mistake makes this story so much worse in my eyes. The grammar. A few mistakes are okay here and there, but there should not be multiple mistakes in every paragraph. What I recommend working on the most is verb tenses. To sum it up, "Read this story makes me want to jumped into a hole." This kind of grammar need to be fixed. Grammarly is a great tool to help with this, and you can also look up info about how to properly use verb tenses to help with your current issue. Also, you can always ask readers to help. I often point out mistakes I notice in the comments, so authors can fix them and improve. In fact, I was going to do that for this story, but there are simply too many mistakes to fix. However, I am still able to point out broader issues, such as improper tense usage. To sum it up, grammar makes the story so much less enjoyable than it should be. Many authors underestimate the importance of grammar, but I never see stories with bad grammar able to consistently stay at the top rankings. IF you want to improve as an English speaker and writer, fixing this should be your top priority.

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