Nice concept, but just a whole lot of 'and then' writing. I did this action and then I did this action, and then the enemy did this action. Or, I said this thing after thinking this thing and the other person said/did this thing. No depth to the writing, we can't even get a solid handle on the MC's thought process since we only see skin deep thoughts and actions. This makes the character and battle interactions seem disjointed and stiff, like a couple of action figures came alive and are fighting or talking to each other.

Read More