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Alice Angel of Mercy
Alice Angel of Mercy
404.4k Views 9584 Favorites 91 Chapters 0 Chapters/Week 2001 Readers
4.2 (197 ratings)
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Synopsis

Meet John an everyday teen that went from having a normal life to being paralyzed and an orphan.

Now, without much hope left, he decides to risk it all to test the first deep dive system ever created. Accepting all the risks of plugging your brain into a computer just to walk and be normal again he gave his ok.

Now Locked into a world he can't escape from (in a girl character he made) John now called Alice, is left to figure out what is going on and why this world and its people are so real if it is simply a computer game.

In a world where everything is not as it seems will he be able to survive, love or even find a pair of pants?

If you have suggestions or issues just post them and I will take a look :)

Genre
ActionAdventureFantasyGender BenderIsekaiMatureMysteryPsychologicalTragedy
Tags
Alternate World Beautiful Female Lead Dark Dungeons Fallen Angels Healers Language Barrier Magic Male to Female Psychopaths Transgender Transported into Another World
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Table of Contents 91
Reviews 6
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    Darexor
    Status: c13

    Spoiler

    I'm sorry I tried to read this but this is so f**king annoying to no end. Who can possibly read this when the main characters f**king mother is just f**king whoring away her daughter when she THINKS that her daughter was raped and traumatized. JESUS f**kING CHRIST, chill with the 13 year old s*xualization. I know it's supposed to be a medieval setting BUT WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS f**kING MOTHER. And the main character just f**king goes with it.

    "Oh my mother is buying me clothes that only cover the private parts but nothing more."

    Really? I'm not even a father but I fell like I would slap the sh*t out of this mother for doing this to her daughter. I can't read this story of "How my mother sold me of to prostitution" or "I almost got raped because of my mother".  

    The story itself is quite good and has some promise, at least until c13. But my head hurts with these characters. And when was a duke threatened by a school? A duke is only less influential/powerful than the royal family.

    Do some research.

    I know everybody has their sh*ts and gags with different kinks and s*xual stories or jokes, but this is too far even for me my man. 

    It's her MOTHER for crying out load. What is the father doing?

    [collapse]

    Looking back to my profile activity I found this review, and I can say that maybe I was a bit harsh with this one. Though I will still say that to this day I still remember how frustrated I was about Alice's mothers actions. 
    I do apologize if I was a bit harsh, as family is, in a way, very much important to me.
    I did drop this novel after writing this review, and I am not planning on picking this up again.
    [ 2021-08-20 ]

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    Daijena
    Status: chapter 2

    This story filled me with joy, it feels like reading something from a experienced author. Not just a event  followed by another event, no they're using details and make the MC and other characters express their feelings in a appropiate time, in a appropiate time span. No exageration or lack of anything remotely human. Just perfectly balanced, like all things should be.

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    Yokem
    Status: chapter 39.

    Critical review:

    This story is really hard to objectively write a review of. There are many things to point out, many of which are good and bad. Mostly bad.

    I will write all of my thoughts until now in a linear line as they come to my mind. But before that let it be said that I am currently at 39. -chapter, and I plan to continue reading it.

    First of all. I genuinely hate it when a writer puts game-like statuses in stories. It is not because I hate games. It is quite the opposite, really. Yet, games are not books in the end. They are very similar in a lot of ways, and that is true, but still not the same.

     The reason why a game has status windows, is to make a character's features be described in a very, and I mean VERY, simplistic way. It purposefully simplifies a character or personality. It turns it into easily readable numbers for the player to understand it easily. While this function works fine in games, where there is context around it, there is a breathing and living world built on those numbers, that you can see and interact with through a monitor and therefore experience without or only with the partial use of your imagination. In a game this is fine. Because you have other sound and visual effect to rely on. Not just text! 

    This never works well in a story. Because in a story, or book you can't rely on anything else! Just the textual descriptions. Therefore, when you put a status description so many times in your chapters, that means you are lazy to write your characters personality down properly. Instead, you make up a simplified status that gives numeric descriptions in place of true personal growth, while hoping that your readers will somehow figure out what type of personality your hero and other side characters have.

     As if a human personality could have been written down by sheer numbers and skills. At the 39. chapter of your story. I don't know more about your main character than at the very first chapter. There is no character growth. Only some constant numerical signals that something has changed, but it does not show in his... or her personality at all. 

    Your main character, just like all of the side characters, are essentially soulless. They have no personality. Only numbers that are supposed to describe something vague about them, but fail misurably in the process. 

    What is angering me, is that they are not even obvious about this fact. They try to pretend to have personalities again and again in the story. They are not that cliche at least. Only after a bunch of chapters do you realize how empty they are. There is nothing that would make me be attached to any of your characters in any way. This is a failure in writing characters and personalities. Everything about them is out of character and shallow at best. 

    The main character is supposed to be a boy, or man that was injured and got into a simulator to experience life again. Even if the simulation was risking his life, he didn't care. He didn't have anything to lose. You write this, it is actually a very good start.

    Yet what happens next? The boy enters the simulation successfully. Into a hyperrealistic dream world of his choice changing his body into a girl's body for fun? Saying he will be able to change it later, when they just told him a chapter ago, or even in the same chapter that he will not be able to change his character after he made it... 

    There is no reasoning why he chose to be a girl? Except he will get more points? Really... Give at least some proper reason, like he wanted to be a girl, or he was curious about what it would feel like to be the opposite gender, since he thought it was a simple video game, and he could leave anytime. It is a completely normal thing to want to experience what it is like to be the opposite gender. Anyone who says otherwise is lying or a kid that small that can't realize gender differences yet. But please! He chose it because of two hundred points. If that two hundred points would mean that much, but it was not even a 1% of all of the points he started with and spent without proper thinking left and right? 

    With constant status descriptions and your writing style, you basically kill any chance of proper character growth. Which is really sad. 

    Back to the main character. The guy... sigh. She enters the world, where he can move again freely. This part really riled me up. I don't think that the writer who bless him or her, was ever bedridden for a longer time. I hope he or she will not experience what it feels like to be in other people's care entirely, placing your very life, into many times complete strangers, hands unwillingly, without a choice. Experiencing something like this humbles a person's ego, the longer this state goes on. What does our hero do after he can live by himself again? He states about two times that it feels good to move again and goes to the kitchen and to cook with her mother, who is a complete stranger to him right now. 

    WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! Why? How? How can a character be this shallow? Also, if you choose a dramatic introduction to your choice of a character, then write it into her personality! There is nothing about the main hero that speaks about his past! He is not humble; he never even mentions it again that he was ever bedridden... He just goes on like he just woke up from a dream and this world was his original from the start.

    Next... when he realized that he could not leave the game, he didn't care. Which is understandable, since in his place I wouldn't want to go back to a crippled body either. Yet not to the extent that he or she would never even mention the fact that this is a damn game simulator in the next 39 chapters. She doesn't wonder why they never woked her up from the simulation, never considers telling anybody that she is not from this world, and basically swapped with their daughter. 

    This is like you wanted to write a Sword Art Online copy, but at the very beginning you realized that you couldn't really do anything with that context, so you decided to completely leave it behind. Turning the otherwise well-written prologue into a completely useless waste of time. Only to probably at the end of the story drop in some type of bomb that this is actually a game world, when every reader already completely forgets about it. 

    Using dramatic effects at the beginning of the story to pull in readers is good. But if they don't lead to anything meaningful in the end. Then what? Every time something meaningful appears in your story, it eventually gets forgotten or left behind accidentally. I mean, purposefully, you didn't want to move the plot forward, either because you had no idea what to write, which is likely, or because you wanted to stretch out a 50-chapter long story into 200 chapters which is less likely but possible. Yet I think this time both factors are at play. 

    If you decide to create a character with a sad and even dramatic background, then write a personality that fits it. Your main hero, is an idiot, who is addicted to adrenalin-rushes and jumps into every possible chance to get maimed while saying she doesn't want to get hurt. He didn't even think about what would happen if he died here. Yet he seemingly doesn't care. The half-angel race part. It is a cool choice. I really love angelic races, in stories or down-right angels which are rare to see in any story or even films. In my understanding, there are two types of angels that are realistic. One type is mostly the same as the Bible describes them, and one that is so alien to any common human sense, that it is impossible to understand it. 

    Your half angel main hero is not really a half-angel or anything of the sort. The reason is not because she doesn't belong to that category. I just mentioned. Since she is a half-angel,  I don't even expect her to be like that. The reason is deeper, and more problematic. You manage to describe to a certain decree what it feels like to change into a woman as a man. It is very basic, but it is there. I read many situations were the fact that the main character is a female at the moment comes into play. This is very good, and it is a compliment from my part. Yet there was not a single place when the fact that, and it is kind of a big fact, that she is a damn half-angel came into play. When it is clear that her race is not exactly common, or even heard of, like ever? 

    Without the constant and annoying status windows and reminders, I would have completely forgotten about the fact that she is a half-angel. Her angelic part has no real effect on her personality. She is not genuinely nice, to people. She didn't want to make people feel comfortable  or happy around her. She doesn't even love people. She mostly hates everyone around her, is overly suspicious of others, and is downright rude to the bone. While she is hilariously arrogant and stupid herself to the extent of no return. She is more like a demon in sheep's clothing. The only reason she chose to be an angelic race was to get epic healing abilities and be able to heal herself and not get crippled again. A half angel like that should have already become a fallen angel, or a demon. 

    She is a person who would let someone die, just to try out her new resurrecting skill. She is someone who would let a man bleed out in front of herself just because they were rude to her or fought with her.

     Look, I know that it is logical to do that. You don't heal your enemy to be raped or killed by them later.

    But, do you remember the title you gave to your story? She is supposed to be the Angel of Mercy? Someone who gets the title of nutcracker by bashing people in the nut multiple times around her. Someone who first hits random people and only after she beats them half dead asks what they are doing here? If this is the angel of mercy, I am better off with Lucifer in hell... The only thing you placed in that made this angelic thing into a slight factor was the passive ability to not tell lies. Yet you managed to make it so, that this ability also becomes useless.  She can't tell lies, but she can choose so to not tell something anytime, some would think, that this ability would force her to speak the truth when someone asks a question. But instead she can easily tell them that it is a secret. That's it, therefore this very good idea had also been turned into a simple comedy factor. It only appears to work properly in situations when there is no weight in the conversation. There would have been so many chances to make it into a great creative tool, to turn the story into unexpected directions and spice it up, yet it seems you lacked the creativity or the will to use it properly.

    The main character is sadly annoyingly stupid. At this time, I am quite certain that she is a mental case. Her parents were certain that she was kidnapped, which is true; and raped, which is not true. She had like half a year time to the 39 chapter to clarify the fact that, oh, I was not raped, by the way. Te-he? She did not. Her parents are shamed and completely broken over this fact. First, I thought, that she did not tell them because she wanted to get into school, and her mother would not let her go otherwise. But this thought was destroyed after a few minutes of reading. As it turned out, that the Duke wanted to kidnap her again, and she needed to go to school to get protection anyway. So there was no reason not to tell them immediately. But, she instead proceeds to forget to tell them this fact for half a year now, and who knows how long  since she didn't tell them even now. How comfortable. 

    Next, she gets into the most epic school in the country, where this world's Gandalf or Dumbledore-level mages are supposed to drink tea at the same tables everyday. A few chapters later, it turns out that the whole school is taken over by one single darkside mage who lives in a  low level dungeon that is open to everyone, and actually the teachers know that another teacher works there on risky and dangerous research that can corrupt him. And where is that dungeon? You figured.

     UNDER THE SCHOOL OF COURSE! Like, no one else thought about that until the first year half-angel commoner with the iq-level of my shoe size, told it to the first guard she deemed trustworthy, and she deems no one trustworthy until he or she almost dies for her. Yep, that's the standard of the angel of mercy. By the way, the guy is a total random mob, and he figured this out in under two seconds. He didn't even have proper magic. How did no one else of the legendary teachers figure this out? 

    Generally, everyone who is not the main character or close to the main character is treated like the utmost incompetent fool in this story. Almost every man character that has more than one sentence of stage time is described as a raper, a s*x maniac and a fool that will soon be beaten to near death only to be killed later by someone else, since the main character can't kill humans with her own hands because she is half-angel. 

    I mean... She is now a summoner, so she can kill with her summons. Therefore, the other influence of angelic blood is also useless, at this moment. I don't really understand why you needed her to be a half angel, as 39 chapters went by only to neutralize anything that her special race basically gave to the plot, except that she could fly. But anyone can fly with magic. There is an enchantment that would make basically the same wings as hers, too. 

    There is no sense in it.

    That's it for now. I could go, but I said what I wanted. 

    I will still continue to read it further until it gets too frustrating. 

    Good day. 

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    Carpfish
    Status: c14

    I love what I've read so far, the author is great and I love the MC's insights and the slightly amusing and hillarious situation the character finds herself in.

    I found descriptions to be a tad sparse and the pace a tad rushed, for my taste. It could do with more ecchi for my tastes, the setting is quite nice.

    Spoiler

    The initial setup hasn't come into play yet, except giving a backstory as to why the MC has a aversion to getting into romantic relationshipswith the opposite s*x.

    The MC could've simply atarted off as an isekai'd female or skipped the isekai portion of the tale altogether, but this isn't necessarily bad per se.

    [collapse]

    I've enjoyed the tale so far, it's a wonderful 1st draft, the author has a bright future. I hope the author republishes after some polishing later in the future.

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    PiRho
    Status: chapter 65 – tequila (unedited)

    I absolutely love this story and the MC. My recommendation for new readers is to give it time. Get to know Alice, her motivations and question everything! Treat it a little bit like a mystery novel. This story is multifaceted and deep. There are hidden things going on in the world she left and most definitely in the world she went to. Without revealing anything I can say that almost nothing is exactly what she thinks it is. Alice both is and isn't perfect. She can absolutely dominate a fight yet at the same time needs help to do almost anything. It's these contrasts that make it an interesting read. She also makes some interesting (read as questionable) decisions sometimes... but why? :) She says that she's not that nice or selfless but her actions say differently. Is something influencing her perceptions and decisions? I don't know for sure and can't wait to find out! One word of caution, the stuff going on around Alice is dark, like really dark so prepare yourself.

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    KuroKurama
    Status: clink

    Very good story and world building.

    But if you hate discrimination and stuff like this it's not for you, but if you don't mind this, you will have a very interesting story before you.

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