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Shattered Helix
Shattered Helix
11.4k Views 265 Favorites 78 Chapters 0 Chapters/Week 118 Readers
4.1 (7 ratings)
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Synopsis

[Shattered Helix is a slow burn, Western, Cultivation, and LitRPG mash-up]

[Synopsis]
The end of the 21st century ushered in a new age of gaming. Using the latest Neurolink Delve Implants, players can now explore virtual worlds with every sense intact. Follow Kyle, Samantha, and Collin as they each explore the hottest new FIVRMMO ‘Fantasy’, a game world built using the latest AI technology. Tag along as three different generations take on the mysteries within the next generation in virtual reality.

[Blurb]
Kyle McMcoy’s world was shattered when his parents and sister were killed during an incident with a rogue AI. However, an unexpected journey into the virtual world of gaming helped heal those wounds. Being a long-time player of Phantasmal Realms, Kyle is set to be one of the first to experience this next generation in FIVRMMOs. Follow along with Kyle, aka Flea, and his AI companion Bob, as they try to learn what the AIs of Shattered Helix really created.

Captain Collin Holmes served his country over 40 years, stationed in his hometown of Chicago. With his buddies, Stephanson, Marcus, Travis, and Burt, the members of The Mad Ghosts battalion were the tip of the spear for every conflict this last half-century. Having all retired, they bought their way to the front of the line to Neurolink’s newest game, Fantasy. Join Collin, aka Barricade, as he and his marines bring their real-world experience to virtual reality.

Samantha Brudt was just another victim of the government’s forced retirement policy. With her loved ones gone, she decided to spend the rest of her life in a medical retirement capsule facility playing the virtual game, Fantasy. But a simple act of kindness re-directs Sam, aka Ginka from a normal starter island to an advanced, bustling city. Being the only human in the great Kingdom of Ravaryn, Ginka tries to open a bakery while helping out a race of Demons in a city full of Angels.

[Release Schedule: Mon, Tues, Wed, Thurs, and Fri.]

Genre
AdventureFantasyHorrorLitRPGMysterySci-fi
Tags
Adventurers Artificial Intelligence Crafting Cultivation Fantasy World Grinding MMORPG Multiple Protagonists RPG Survival Game Tragic Past Virtual Reality World Hopping Zombies
Table of Contents 78
Reviews 1
Table of Contents
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    winterFox2
    Status: arc 1

    This review will only pertain to Arc 1 of this story. Arc 2 and onward can be read at your own enjoyment and/or peril.

    The Review

    • Storyline: 3/5

    This story's Arc 1 is fascinating, placing the realm of virtual reality gaming into a unique niche that makes it feel more realistic than usual. There are hints something strange in the world of Fantasy but nothing overtly concerning at this time. The rather relaxed pace for this arc is quite intriguing as well; even the build up of tension to the end of the arc does not create any sort of heaviness to the story. This arc is meant as an introduction, and it does its part well.

    There could be some more explanations through character dialogue or just a small dump of information (maybe the character reads it in some sort of library? Or maybe he talks to the residents and learns more about the world?) to make it become even more immersive.

    • Settings: 4/5

    The settings of the story is quite well done within world of Fantasy. The settings in reality is a bit less established, but still, it goes well as the dialogue and actions in the world are the ones being focused on. There's not too much to say here (many stories kind of forget about settings in the first place, which includes even some professional writers) as the only thing really needing improvement is just remembering to describe certain places in a bit more details would improve immersion into the story.

    • Character (MC) : 2/5

    Unfortunately, there is a couple of things that make this arc... unfulfilling. The story is interesting, the settings are good, but the problem that the plot faces in arc 1 is that it does not seem to move the story forward nor develop the main character in any way. One would think that the MC, having suffered through multiple mishaps within the game, would attempt to rectify his mistakes with more planning and thinking things through.

    He doesn't. In fact, his personality is almost nonexistent during interactions. You can see his actual personality during his thoughts and actions, but when it comes to asking question, being forced by the situation, or just being in the field, he loses almost all of his meager personality traits and doesn't question anything and just goes along with it.

    In a real life, there are definitely people that are passive enough that this can happen, but this really does not make for a good story's MC, especially when he already feels as bland as he does.

    Although this is the introductory arc that sets the story's tone and style, having such a bland MC is not a good way to reach out to snag new readers into reading the story. The plot, settings, and supporting characters are carrying the story, attempting to do what the MC doesn't, but that is not going to work forever as the story should focus on the MC as it is, for the lack of explanation, "the focal point of the story".

    There is more than one MC on the summary, but Arc 1 focuses on one particular.

    • Character (Supporting) : 4/5

    The supporting characters are great. The ones that have more time in the limelight shows dynamic personalities, have interesting quirks about them, and are generally realistic (as much as they can be) enough to provide additional immersion into the world of Fantasy. For the short periods between the gaming time, the characters are less colourful and descriptive, but it is not enough to make them overly bland. This shows a rather intriguing duality between the more vibrant world of Fantasy and the mundane feeling of real life pretty well.

    • Meta: 4/5

    This part deals with grammar, sentence structure, and the writing itself. There is not any outstanding problems with the writing; it is clear, easy to understand, and with very few structural and grammatical errors (most of which are passed over due to clarity). Some of the details could be extrapolated and use different words for them, but other than that, this story's Arc 1 is written solidly and is one of the works on ScribbleHub that boasts higher-quality than average.

    • Overall: 3.5/5

    The start of Shattered Helix seems to be a fine work for those who wish for a peculiar adventure that delves into the mystery and intriguing mechanics of the game world. The story, so far, focuses more so on the world itself as well as the interactions of characters within the world. Both the players and the NPCs have their own quirks and are fun to learn about. The only major issues this arc has is the rather bland main character whose personality and behavior seems a little out of place due to how he is written and his strangely white-washed interactions with characters that are far more colourful and dynamic than he is.

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