Alternate title; "I can't believe my studies of the esoteric got me sent to a Cultivation World!"

Nerdy, chuunibyou 13 year old Colt Emerson is a self proclaimed occultist. At school, he's laughed at. But there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. What is a boy to do when he's sent to a world of martial arts and violence, especially when he's a pacifist? A xianxia/xuanhuan isekai satire story.