I used to be a fat ugly man. But then I died.
Just when I thought it was over, I reincarnated!?
I became Lys Ultima, the wastrel of the Lys clan. A side character if you've ever seen one. But unlike other side characters, I was super duper hot!
And I got a system, the slap face system!
Join Lys Ultima in his journey to become immortal!
(Image from waifulabs)
This story is a masterpiece, and here's why.
The story starts off strong by explaining the backstory of the protagonist. Even with the brief explanation, I am drawn in by how much I resonated with the protagonist. He's a flawed character who rightfully deserves a second chance. There's not many stories out there that can concisely describe the protagonist while also keeping the word count down.
As for the rest of the story, I am blown away by how smart the author is by reincarnating the character as a low class noble with below average attributes. Most stories have the protagonist reincarnate with an unbeatable skill or create loopholes that protagonists exploit to become unbeatable. This story does not give the main character a cheat, but uses a Point Game System that requires hard work to succeed.
If you do not believe me, then I recommend reading My Immortal and Invisible Dragon before reading this story. I promise you'll be mind blown.
5/5, great storytelling.
Happy Scribble Hub Anniversary, Lys!
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This... could have greatly benefitted from some sort of parody tag. Because a parody is what it is, although it's not a particularly good one.
I would not say that the author's writing ability surpasses that of the person who wrote My Immortal (that Harry Potter fanfic classic) other than in the grammar and spelling department perhaps. And the spelling, grammar and story in general deteriorates significantly over time.
Also, My Immortal was funny. This though? This had a few moments that I found amusing. For example, I did like the reoccurring "Anyways she was hot" that followed a lengthy description of certain female characters.
Overall, there seems to be a distinct obsession with certain portions of female and male anatomy, as well as s*x and related activities.
According to the author notes, much of this story was written while the author was in an intoxicated state - and judging by the quality of the writing, I do feel inclined to believe that.
This story is not particularly well-written, and as previously mentioned, it deteriorated significantly throughout - not just linguistically, with an increasing number of spelling mistakes and instances of texting shorthand, but also narratively.
This is supposed to be some type of cultivation/xianxia story, or parody or whatever. And it does feature *some* cultivation/xianxia tropes, but the author keeps including things that do not belong in this setting and the ways characters act and speak are not particularly convincing.
The pacing is all over the place, which could have been forgiven, had this story not had so many other issues.
I actually think that the most positive thing about it is that it was relatively short and a relatively quick read, allowing me to move on to other, hopefully better things - or at the very least, more entertaining things.
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