You must have heard of Edgar Crow, the gentleman of Greycott, the philosopher. But so have his enemies. And he tends to make a lot of them, the poor man. They call him the Scourge of the Morning, the Terror of the Night.

The rumours say he wants to destroy the Kingdoms, proclaim himself the Demon Lord, that he consorts with the Mother of Night herself, and that he wants to take over the world and plunge it into an eternal winter.

It's a whole lotta hogwash, believe me. All he wants is good tea, and very good cakes. And he enjoys a good man playing a fiddle.

But, sometimes, the rumours can be true. If I were you, I'd just join him in the garden, have a good chat and leave. Just don't stay beyond midnight.