Years ago magic entered our modern world and changed everything. Twenty years later, the world has Access Facilities to help budding magic users and the MDE to help manage, police, and control magic. Raven Delias is a normal teenage girl who is getting her Core magic awakened like everyone her age. She just wants to get into a good school and maybe find love in the process.
But normal died years ago and everything changes for Raven when chaos erupts throughout the facility. A society already on edge doesn't want or need something like her. Raven must figure out if she is human or monster. But Raven isn't the only danger. Something is growing stronger and wants to see the world fall.
A well done start to a story. Very well done, in fact. While not too long, Illusion/Core has already achieved more than I expected from it in terms of worldbuilding and characterization, though not in story progression. It's a bit on the unique side, and comes off as well thought out and executed. Pacing is good, as is actual dialogue.
Oh, it isn't the highest quality read, but I still liked to indulge myself in it. And honestly, what not to like? Oh, I know, I know. Some of you won't like a girl being flirted on by 'prodigies' right in the first few chaps, but, hey it's the author's story. Let her do what she wants.
Story:
Storywise, there's a fair bit of content already. Worldbuilding and magic system explanations, as well as character interactions. While the story hasn't progressed all that much, the content still feels important, with it fleshing out characters and providing needed explanations for the unique magic system.
I did want to point something out. You're in danger of falling into an old trap here. I've seen the plotline too many times. One where there's a 'powerful magic' and everyone besides the MC thinks it's weak. Yes, you actually did explain what makes Illusion magic unstable, but be careful when handling the subject.
Your action scenes are also well written. Better than I thought I'd get actually. As someone who specializes in writing action, I have to offer my congratulations on that.
Style:
Nothing to criticize. It's easy on the eyes and easy to follow. No bumps or hiccups along the way. It stays largely consistent throughout. Simple, and effective, but not minimalistic. It isn't the best I've seen, far from it, but would I tell you to continue using it? Yes.
Grammar:
Again, all is good, aside from one hiccup I'll point out below, the grammar in I/C has no flaws, by my reckoning. Words sepelled right, commas in the right places, periods not forgotten, first word of every sentence capitalized. In other words: All good.
Now for that one thing g.
• Using exclamation (!) marks instead of question (?) marks. If you want to have a question, and have it pose dramatic effect as well, do a question mark first, then an exclamation mark right behind it. You can add on another as well, but don't overdo it.
Characters:
While small, the cast is largely solid, and on their way towards fleshing out., for now, many of them feel like sketches just past the first stage. Don't take this as an insult. You can easily expand on these characters and flesh them even further. They have strong starts, but how you follow through is what will determine how much people like them.
Raven is already goodly done, but give attention to the people around her as well. You don't need to add entire paragraphs of thing, tbh, just small, human quirks and faults. Some of them already have those, in case of Micah's father, but expand more. Better characterization is never a bad thing.
That said, I like how they've progressed so far, and how they react believeably I some situations. Take for instance, Raven's final test. They didn't shrug that off or let it slide, laughing that she was alive anyway. No, they reacted as people would in real life, to someone putting another person's life in very real danger for their own curiousity. Call me picky, but this is the sort of thing many of the stories on IsekaiRoad lack, and I want to see more of it.
Closing:
There are a few things here and there that niggle me in the story, but none worth bringing up as of right now. I stead, I'll let them play out before bringing them up. In the meantime, you've done a good job on the story so far.
This is one of the more promising fics on RoyalRoad in recent memory, and if you keep going, stay dedicated, it'll pay off.
Cheers, L.
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