Hello everyone! I decided to make a discord server. If you are intersted in chatting with me or other fellow readers feel free to join: https://discord.gg/4cJv2EZvg6
For those of you who don't know what discord is, it's a social network that allows for structured group chats. I reccommend giving it a try if you never used it!
Please consider this is still more or less a draft. There might be some contradictions or information skips. Please be sure to report anything that isn't working to me so that I can revise it. I plan on doing a complete revision at some point, but it's not going to be anytime soon.
One of the reasons I decided to publish this was to get feedback in order to know where I need to improve. That said, have fun reading!
[Awakening Realm] Mana core creation - Grants cultivators the ability to manipulate mana within their own bodies, resulting in a stronger body and the ability to use basic body techniques. People in this Realm can also expect slightly longer life spans compared to normal people, averaging 100 years of lifespan. The colour of the core represents the degree of achievement someone has in this realm. The colours in order are Black, Dark Red, Light Red, Orange, Yellow, Dark Green, Light Green, Dark Blue, Light Blue, Purple. The minimum requirement to move on to the next realm is to achieve an Orange Core, but a Yellow Core is preferable.
The Awakening Realm, like any other Realm, is split into Stages. In order to breakthrough to the next Realm, one, unlike the colours, has to go through all of the Stages. In order they are Early-Dawn, Dawn, Late-Dawn, Early-Noon, Noon, Late-Noon, Early-Dusk, Dusk, Late-Dusk, Twilight
The premise is good, but thats about the all the credit I can give.
MC is a manipulative A hole, I really cant see how the romance will come into play.
Extremely unreasonable,
1 year old child being told by his teacher to run miles? Doing 1000pushups?
Weird/unfitting wording used. Such as using, "wives (or husbands if the heir is female) " instead of spouses. Or describing a new character as whatever, then MC "laughs at him supressing his rage" where did the anger come from?
The girl (FL im guessing?) Doesnt seem real at all. (She seems to have some development so she isnt completely cardboard later on.)
Ultimately, I was able to enjoy it for the most part, due to the premise seeming fun, and the plot which is enjoyable as well. The reason I am giving up on this novel is because originally I was mostly interested in the relationship between the MC and fl, as well as the plot. One chapter I relized that the MC is bassically the type of MC that I hate (repetitive, edgy, robotic, emotionless) and that the plot is actually just a joke and hardly matters at all.
Plot: MC has a soul contract with his mistress, must protec.
Real plot: MC is a dude who is playing a vr game for work that puts him in a body in another realm. Aka, he wont even die if he disobeys the contract, this whole story is also just a job for him aparently.
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Here we have a story filled with few mysteries and full of twists. Our protagonist Vince has goals that are unknown but are hinted upon early on. We see his growth and power up as he seeks knowledge and strength. At the same time he must look after his annoying and cute little mistress who is just as talented as himself. Good action and well written characters. More depths to the characters and some backstories here and there would spice things up. Along with some humor.
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