The novel is intriguing. The way you wrote it, shows the smut scenes clearly and portrays them good as it should be for an R-18 story. The way you write is good, so no problems there. The grammar is good and acceptable. The character's emotions are clearly displayed, and gives the readers an understanding on their actions.

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Before starting off, I have to say that I don't really read smut, and this is one of the first ones I read. 

Which is partly why I found the story intriguing. In between the smut (which is quite intricately-described, I would say), I found myself very attached to the characters and their dynamics. I easily visualized the characters and related to some of their problems, particularly the interpersonal ones. Honestly speaking, the story has potential for a full-blown plot-oriented story if the author wants to go that direction.

I found myself very eager to follow the lives of the main characters in this SoL, and while I would have liked a bit more elaboration on character's  thoughts, decisions, and the like, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story.

Some punctuation errors and typos here and there, but they don't matter that much for me. Most of us make those minor slipups anyway.

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I read ahead chapter 13 to see if thing is so bad, and my conclusion is that it worths reading~As long as the shuraba isn't the focus (focus on the fluffy s*x instead~), it's fine for me~

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The smut is good, writing is better than most of the stories in scribblehub but the way the story developed to the later chapters isn't for me.

It was good and fun to read until chapter 13

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