LONER MEETS GODDESS
Takei Tanaka, an average high schooler, goes about his life in an uninterested manner until he stumbles upon a girl in need of help. That girl turned out to be Akari Akazawa, the number one beauty of his school. Due to some circumstances, they end up spending time with each other which results in their relationship blossoming into something new. A romantic comedy filled with 99% fluff and 1% seriousness is about to start!
Written in the style of Japanese web novels. This is the original work of an amateur writer, so feedback would be greatly appreciated.
Illustration by @dotturndot
Discord server: https://discord.gg/ReZFWxjNS2
A fairly solid and enjoyable slice of life/romance story. The premise is simple enough: average loner meets the school beauty and they kick it off after some events occur. Whether the romance is realistic or not, I don't know since I've never talked to a woman before. However, I can definitely say that it's sweet and enjoyable, just make sure to have insulin nearby.
Still, there are some aspects of the story that can be a turnoff for readers. First, the story is remarkably cliché. If you've read plenty of Japanese romcoms or even consumed Japanese youth media, this story will be extremely familiar to you. Secondly, the MC is as dense as lead, or to put it in more understandable terms: as dense as a Japanese harem protagonist. However, the author is hinting at a logical reason for this trait so it doesn't exist just to blueball the reader. But you're still getting blueballed no matter how well the author pulls it off.
In regards to grammar and writing, it's perfectly functional. Everything is perfectly understandable, although I have a tendency of skimming so I'm not the best person to consult on the matter. The prose fulfills its job of creating a sweet and enjoyable romance to indulge your most likely lonely self in. It's definitely not poetic, but you should seek out other genres if that's your thing.
Lastly, the story so far doesn't show signs of deep symbolism and complex messages. And frankly, it really doesn't need to. It's just something to enjoy after a long day of work. If you for some reason want those two aforementioned things, I recommend looking at a different genre or reading Oregairu.
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The story is fluff and cute and just like it says its 1% seriousness, it can fill up the sugar you need in your body, even the author admits it, I might as well make it their quote "Here's your daily sugar <_<" and the author would place end notes that most would find enjoyable.
The biggest mystery you can ask yourself in this story is the title itself, but it could just be some kind of 4th dimension terminology to imply the unmentioned goddess's interference, that's all my theory anyways. I mean it's a sugar free enjoyable life with its serious traumatic moments.
And yes this is the love story between from between teenager probably in high school, a simple boy and a girl, it can't get any more complicated than that alright, but even simple plots with a simple beginnings can lead to the best endings and storylines.
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I've reached chapter 70+ without getting tired of the story. Seeing the titles of the last chapters from the table of contents. I'm excited to learn what's going to happen to them in the future.
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One of the best rom-com novels I've read on this site. It clearly scratches that itch actual romcoms can't solve bc the story
actually progresses and doesn't revolve around the main character's denseness.
Btw this helped me through countless sleepless nights. Thank you mister author. You've helped me and my mental health a lot.
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Very good and nice, this gives me diabetes when reading
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Wholesome sweetness. Need I say more.
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