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/ Series / In Naruto with the power of One Piece.
In Naruto with the power of One Piece.
In Naruto with the power of One Piece.
71.2k Views 1174 Favorites 57 Chapters 0 Chapters/Week 273 Readers
4.3 (30 ratings)
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Synopsis

So what if they have Byakugan or Sharingan, my observation haki is better. They want to chop me down? Bamm Arnament Haki. They can use different ninjutsu and defeat me? So what it's not like i can't use ninjutsu.

I am going to be the strongest and live my life freely.

https://www.patreon.com/coolestnerd

Genre
ActionAdventureFanfictionSupernatural
Fandom
Naruto
Tags
Ninjas Reincarnation Wars
Table of Contents 57
Show
  1. Black marketSep 6, 2021
  2. Itachi’s dilemmaSep 4, 2021
  3. TrainingSep 2, 2021
  4. IntroductionSep 2, 2021
  5. RaceAug 29, 2021
  6. New GroupAug 27, 2021
  7. Itachi’s diseaseAug 25, 2021
  8. DealAug 23, 2021
  9. New HokageAug 22, 2021
  10. EscapeAug 21, 2021
  11. ConfrontationAug 20, 2021
  12. TruthAug 19, 2021
  13. SpeechAug 18, 2021
  14. Meeting beginsAug 17, 2021
  15. 6 monthsAug 16, 2021
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      LilBreh
      Status: minato’s place

      The grammar is good. The story, well, it's a bit above average, I guess. The style is alright. My problem, is with the characters.

      1 It's not really explained how Yama (the mc) got his one piece powers. We don't really know where, who he was before his time in the naruto world. He uses powers from one piece easily, like he has experience, even though I'm fairly sure he comes from the modern world.

      2 Yama becomes extremely powerful extremely quickly. It may have felt more natural if you didn't have all those time skips.

      3 A general problem with character development, but mostly how you did third hokage a bit dirty. I think the third should have had a different reaction to yama calling him out. His reaction in this story is like he's the grandpa of a generic xianxia arrogant young master.

      4 This novel has no Romance tag, yet despite that, it has romance. A lot of naruto novels were either dropped or not read by me because they had romance or a harem tag. It's a small thing, but it annoys me a lot. And the romance isn't even that good. It's basically out of nowhere. I could tell it was gonna be sh*tty from the time when yama saw his love interest and thought "She's hot" or something similar. Basically crammed in cause the author lacked originality.

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      Rodan
      Status: chapter: tension

      It is an interesting crossover as the story starts out before the beginning of Naruto anime/manga with the MC having a Devil Fruit. But the MC, Yama, comes off as too much of a Gary Stu, especially for being set in the Naruto Universe.

      The biggest gripe I have is the multiple time skips. I feel that the time skips, where used, you lose out on seeing/reading about Yama and Friday's growth and this causes a disconnect with the reader. Getting to see them improve and overcome various obstacles/weaknesses/injuries/setbacks/etc., beyond the few that are shown or just mentioned, would make Yama more relatable to the reader as it shows he is not perfect or have Main Character syndrome where everything goes according to 'his' plan all the time.

      A lesser gripe is the supporting characters, those other than Yama, have little personality. They are too 2-dimensional/flat and have no real role or character growth themselves outside of being there for the MC's growth or to move the story along. While not all supporting characters need to have personality, especially those that are filler, they should have their own thoughts and motivations beyond being there for Yama's growth or to move the story along. Especially in the Naruto universe where nearly everyone has a secondary or tertiary agenda that is either personal, clan, or village related.
      The good points of the story are that I have not noticed any glaring grammar or spelling mistakes as I read. Also the prose is extremely good as the author, coolnerd, is able to describe most scenes in such a way that draws the reader into the story.
      Overall the story could use some improvement, but still worth a read. Give a rating of 3.5 stars.

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