It was an average day in Miami—then fractures in the sky appeared. A pulse from those cracks altered the population; some people's biology changed while others received magical and supernatural powers. After the chaos, the political drama ensued, followed by the discovery of portals that brought deadly creatures. They called this event "The Oscillation" and it changed Rachel's life forever.
Note: I've received some feedback that people don't like the foul language. This also included my mother, she wanted me to make a cleaner version for her. So, I thought I might as well release it alongside the more explicit version. I went back and rewrote the parts that have profanity in them. ^_^7
Cover Commissioned From Likesac ^_^7
This story had a lot of potential. The premise was compelling and the characters started interesting with a lot of room for development in forced circumstances. Unfortunately, it was held back by style and storytelling problems. Perspective changes became tedious as the same events were repeated from a different perspective offering a minuscule amount of extra value. Characters stopped acting believably within their circumstances as time went on and it got worse and worse. The focus on cute or witty dialogue held the story back and made it a chore to read. If you cut half the word count I bet it would be a good story.
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This one started out really good so I'm not sure what happened. Some of the POV changes contain copy pasta -1. When it gets to the end of the first part there are chapter chained fights -1. The system seems like an afterthought -1.
I really liked the arc in the college though. I could follow up until after they leave the hospital. After that is just turns into a hot mess of things that any reader would struggle to follow.
For example, reading sequentially, Rachael's fight is left hanging when they move to another POV. But in that POV it says Rachael won. So I'm like wait what?
EDIT: So decided to give book 2 and 3 a shot because I thought they might be good like the first part of book 1. I guess I would still say I have a love/hate relationship with the story. I felt like the stuff with the FBI was done really well and kept my interest. Then the stuff with the crystal happened and I just trudged through it wanting it to be done. Maybe it is just my tastes and I like the slice of life stuff and political scheming stuff more than the power fantasy stuff.
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