I can't read this mesh-up. And excuse "english is my second language" doesn't cut in. What I see instead is laziness: author doesn't give a damn about punctuation, about the construction of sentences, about descriptions. Someone passionable enough could easily download grammar app on the browser and make most of the work done, but here is our author that makes our eyes bleeding with his casual placings of big characters and punctuation.

I can handle that, I could see big potential in the idea and it seems situation changes somewhat in 40-TH!!! chapter.

BUT!

The whole writing is empty. Author is just lazy, doing nothing to flesh out the character, the world, the surroundings, EVERYTHING.

I don't understand anything about what I've read, I could only make guesses. I don't know who MC was before death that author hints was because of bad health (very elusive hint). I don't know who he is in the new life. I don't know where he lives, how the f**k he lives, why the f**k he isn't bringing attention to himself.

I don't know how he summouned his first two servants and how their relationships began, author jumps strait to the point. I can't understand their characters, they are empty, carboard walking around.

I don't know MC's motivation, I don't know his relationships with, well, everyone.

Author made MC an artist and mangaka, it could've brought an immense potential to the story if author made an attempt to exapnd it past the few sentences, making this suppousedely "slice of life story" much better.

Author could've... You know what? That just doesn't deserve my time. If author thinks we don't deserve a casual check out and proofreading of the capter to solve MOST BASIC mistakes, than I don't think he deserves a review that considers his feelings or points all his mistakes. It's easier to say what was done right instead of what was done wrong, because the two are incomparable.

2 stars just because of the brilliant idea. One of the most wasted potentials I've ever seen. Read with greatest caution.

14 Likes · Like

Whiskey

Status: 1- new life [edited]

Dec 16, 2021

It's not a bad story,

However the timeline of this story, And references a little bit vague.

To show a issue of the story, The entire event of the story in the Canon series is a little messed up messed up to say the least in the beginning.

And I believe the messed up storyline in the beginning is mit's messing up the rest of the story continuing on.

Recommendations please fix the beginning timeline for the future chapter to make sense.

Thanks

3 Likes · Like

Nusan_Walen

Status: 51- aftermath.

Dec 1, 2021

this is DXD fanfic where MC is not stealing harem of Issei...

also there are grama, pronunciacion and most likely other types of mistakes, especially at the beginning.

3 Likes · Like

Lacrima_salina

Status: 79- eagerness and misunderstandings

Aug 14, 2022

Very good. After reading a lot my mind ignores the mistakes and focuses on the story, they are small and don't affect anything else. Keep up the great work.

1 Likes · Like