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Accidental Multiverse Planeswalker
Accidental Multiverse Planeswalker
308.5k Views 4250 Favorites 34 Chapters 1 Chapters/Week 1936 Readers
4.6 (194 ratings)
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Synopsis

John Hansen grew up as a simple farm boy. Or so everyone thought. He secretly studied and made more of himself as a farmer than anyone thought he could. He also had a weird connection to his lands. He didn't really know what that meant until he died. Or was meant to.

Follow his adventures through various books, movies, and television shows.

Cover is a composite created image by me using free images on the internet.
http://static4.depositphotos.com/1017817/352/i/450/depositphotos_3521743-Farmer-walking-in-corn-fields-at-sunset.jpg

Genre
ActionAdultAdventureFanfictionFantasyIsekaiRomanceSci-fiSupernatural
Fandom
Firefly Harry Potter Magic: The Gathering Smallville Star Wars
Tags
Interdimensional Travel Magic Modern Fantasy Multiple Realms Overpowered Protagonist Protagonist Loyal to Love Interest Saving the World Weak to Strong
Table of Contents 34
Reviews 19
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    Yokem
    Status: 02 in smallville

    Critical review. 

    I only reached the second chapter, and read the second one, about one third. This statement normally wouldn't allow me to write an objective constructive review. The keyword is normally, but since this story has enormous chapters, it forms an exception. 

    I read the reviews, before I began to read the story. I usually don't care about reviews, since I figured that most of them are baseless and lack any sort of objectivity. Therefore, I came here without any special expectations. Especially since this genre is not one that I usually read, but I decided to give it a try anyway, so it is safe to say I had no prejudgments, since I didn't know what to expect.

    The good things:

    Your writing style is very sophisticated, and smooth. I can easily understand why many people like it. I was also enjoying it without a doubt, it gives off a professional or near-professional reading experience. Which is rare to see on sites where two thirds of the writers are not originally English speakers. English is also my third language, so I am not one either. I do not know if you are, but even if you are not, your knowledge of the language is obviously on a high level. 

    This is the good part. 

    There are a few big problems, that forced me to stop reading your story. I am going to point out the main issue, and that will take up quite a lot of place. I can already see...

    Do understand please, that I only took my time to write this, with the hope of helping you out for the sole reason, that I think that your writing has potential. It is up to you, if you think about it or ignore me. I am fine with both.

    The reason why I had to stop reading is the following symptom: "unnecessary and extremely forceful overuse of emotional factors". 

    Your story, is a roller coaster. Which in itself wouldn't be that big of a problem. 

    The continuous use of emotional ups and downs are the oldest methods to catch new readers and keep their attention. It is one that every good writer who cares about how many people read his or her book would actively use. 

    The issue here is that, that you use it needlessly and at the wrong places without actual real problems. You try to write a drama without a real tragedy element, then you try to forcefully turn an everyday simple argument into a complete trauma. 

    To argue with your parents for your future is not a trauma.

    Sending your kid to school, even if it is on the other side of the country, is not a trauma.

    Not having the guts to say no to your 12 year old kid's first tantrum is not a trauma. Especially as such things simply do not exist. 

    Then what is a trauma?

    Having an incurable sickness that will kill you soon.

    Watching one of your family members deteriorate daily on a sickbed while you can't do anything to help. 

    Losing your parents or friends. 

    Losing your faith, your livelihood, or your child. 

    Being kicked out of your own home to the street only with the clothes that you wear. 

    Losing your lover. 

    You forcefully create overly dramatic situations, which have no real conflict element. Then you blow them up to an extent where it is simply unrealistic, and sometimes downright laughable.

    You build up pressure for drama and tragedy elements, then make it so ridiculous that no one can take it seriously. The carefully built-up pressure simply slips away, or turns into disappointment instead of taking effect. You waste your own efforts. 

    SPOILER

    For example, the girl's dad, (the MC) acts like a complete imbecil with his daughter that he normally adores. He says things to her thirteen year old daughter that you wouldn't say to your worst enemy. 

    Only to mechanically create an unreasonable base argument for the daughter to become completely evil, again to a ridiculous extent.  There is an already unreasonable situation, but you had to turn it into an entirely impossible one by the sheer fact that it supposedly goes on for years.

    She didn't know that her mother died, because she never picked up the phone for years while she was in school, and never read a damn mail, only took up the money from the bank account they sent her... Yeah right... Like any, parent wouldn't visit their daughter after three days if she acted like that.

    They would break in the principal room, beat the principal black and blue. Then, with the same momentum, they would beat their daughter ass back to oblivion and took her home to never go back to school ever again. 

    The whole drama of the first chapter is completely ridiculous. Something like that simply doesn't happen. There is no legitimate reason for a thirteen year old to act like that. Kids literally change from "I completely hate you" to "I love you, you are the best" in one minute or less. It just nonesense. 

    You see, if you want to write drama and tragedy, the very first thing you have to make sure is that the drama elements, at the minimum, are believable to a certain level. Otherwise, it will turn into a bad and awkward comedy that creates secondhand embarrassment in the reader. 

    It is not an accident that there are much fewer well-written dramas than parodies. To write a good drama, you actually need to plan ahead and think things through properly to the smallest of details. 

    Another example.

    When you had to make the dad's death into a soap opera-level drama-parody... or even worse. Come on, do you have to kill him with a meteor? For real, can't he get a simple stroke on the field after an emotionally intense moment with her daughter? Or got bitten by a poisonous snake or anything? You needed to kill him off with a meteor. If this was a comedy and not a tragedy, then this would be fine, but here it is just out of place.

    But the worst is in the fact that... sigh... he survived. -.-' 

    At that point I just gave up on this story, there is a quantity of nonsense that I am willing to take in for a minimal amount of enjoyment. Then he was in the hospital, basically a living mummie. In that state, after he was splashed with a meteor, he managed to pick up a chick in the hospital to pay his hospital bill. 

    What?

    conclusion: 

    Your story elements are always flickering. You are not willing to follow the flow of your own story and constantly turn it into something else, then back then repeat. The root of your tragedy elements are complete nonsense.

    Advise: 

    Stick to your plot, don't jump around, have patience, and change the atmosphere slowly. Simply have some common sense in your story, even if it is a multiverse, it still should have some common sense, no?

    With best regards,

    Yokem

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    52 Likes · Like
    BokuBoyHater
    Status: c17b

    Ahem. Well, um. It's certainly a fanfiction. The writing was good. Plots a bit panicky with very traumatic climaxes. The only thing that really makes me hate it though is the romantic plots. It just makes me vomit a little. So, when I read the first few chapters, amazing. It was one of the best novels I've ever read. Then, the funniest thing happened. The author decided to make all his smut dreams come true. I don't know why he would ever want to subject his readers to this. Maybe it's his kink, on top of all the extremely debauched and "50 year old politician" things. I really enjoyed the devoted love interest part, and that's why I read it in the first place. It used to have a tag that said "Devoted love interests". Wow, was that wrong. I felt like I was going into a pit of the grossest slime in the world. The normal and quote enjoyable start makes you latch onto the author's thought patterns. This made me f**ked up in the mind later on. I still have flashbacks and feel actual pain from it anytime Matrix or any other of these worlds are mentioned. He dragged me down into his fantasies and I might never heal from these. I'm serious. Thanks, for making my life worse. I hate Bokuboy. 

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    9 Likes · Like
    Dondai
    Status: c25

     Best novel I've read here in Scribble Hub

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    6 Likes · Like
    Ziegfreed
    Status: c17b

    This author never dissapoints, I love how every chapter is its own world. Some of the s*xual experiences ill be honest I didnt like-the neo arc being the best example of what I personally hate. But thats the thing, you cant have perfection without flaws because perfection without flaws is itself flawed. I really look forward to reading the next chapter of what I believe to be one of bokuboys best works. Now for those who are still reading my review... why? Chapter 1 is just a few clicks away.

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    6 Likes · Like
    Stephan_Pi
    Status: 23b in young justice (the...

    2.7/5 

    I skipped the uninteresting universes because I knew they would be repetitive, but it seems like I did not miss anything important.

    Despite the word count and the rather good writing, it would be resumed as

    Spoiler

    *He arrives

    *Gets a partner (sometimes they just met and that's when they start "going out") after flirting with every women he sees

    *f**ks the partner or/and other women (despite saying they he will only have said partner for the rest of their lives or something)

    *help some people while doing the mentioned above using stuff he got from the previous place/universe

    And repeat this process for every universe he goes

    [collapse]

    Despite the flaws it is somewhat good, I think the author keeps trying to move it away from s*xual content, but it always gravitates to it (in this story) which is not my cup of tea

    A moment I liked despite the implications was 

    Spoiler

    when the MC and Megan kind of connect their mind and he sees her true form and he shows that he accepts her despite how she looks (scary alien)

    And obviously they end up "doing it" just after this :/

    [collapse]

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    5 Likes · Like
    CazadorHydrus
    Status: 17b in rise of the...

    Amazing story. The interactions MC has with the members of various worlds, slowly uncovering the mystery about his identity, and watching as he changes as a character are pretty interesting and I cant wait to see how this story continues

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    5 Likes · Like
    Tajarim
    Status: c12

    One of the best fictions on the Internet. The author is really good, in some aspects there could be a bit more versatility (as in that certain situations happen again and again, probably due to author preference), but that's only a small gripe. 

    [btw, the mechanics to assign stars are very wonky on this site] 

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    5 Likes · Like
    MisterUnfortunate
    Status: chapter 1

    I’m only on chapter one, but after reading it, I’ve decided I don’t need to read more to decide that this will be AMAZING. Few; if any, spelling/grammatical errors, great story, relatable protagonist, all around a great work.

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    5 Likes · Like
    kindlyfire
    Status: 17b In Rise of the...

    I can really only say one thing... beautiful, absolutely beautiful.

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    4 Likes · Like
    Daytrue
    Status: 07 in scooby-doo (main timeline)

    Just finished chapter 7!

    I'm really liking the story. You don't have to be really well versed in the main stories that John Planewalks to in order to enjoy it. I'm really looking forward to where he'll go next! Keep up the great work, as always.

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    3 Likes · Like
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