This is my first attempt at writing, please be gentle with it. I have very little idea where the story will go or how the characters will develop but goddamn it I will try my best to make it somewhat entertaining. Given the free writing style I use I am adding all three content warning, their will be strong language, their will be sex, and someone might get eaten. I am not 100% sure on the last one but I don't want to take any chances
"Clearance to summon one hero, only one! Did you think I would not notice?"
“O relax, it was an accident, besides one or 46 what's the real difference?”
46?... Does he not know about the other one? probably for the best, I can't even imagine what he would do with… whatever that thing he pulled into this world is. I am not sure what I am going to do with that… oh it's waking up.
X47 woke up in a void, alone. not sure what it was, or how it got there it was… quite content letting its mind wander through vast expanses of nothing, piecing together fragmented knowledge that resided inside itself. till one day came a cry, a cry that would shake the foundation of the world.
Follow X47 on its adventures in hopes to live a quiet peaceful life, key word quiet, along the way making friends, enemies, enemies that used to be friends, and friends that used to be enemies. or maybe it will just eat the entire population of souls and go to sleep. who knows, not X47, and definitely not the system moderator in charge of keeping the balance of this world.
I feel conflicted about this story. On the one hand, I like the idea and appreciate the effort, but I can't ignore the big problems I have with this story
The biggest problem for me, lies with the MC. An OP godlike being, who has lived forever basically and has equally experienced everything. The story revolves around her. Obviously, she is the MC, but I always felt that everything happened because of the MC. Every other character is irrelevant to the story and have no real impact.
This leads to a stagnant repeat of: problem arises because of MC, everyone is overwhelmed because they can't deal with it without the MC, MC suddenly appears and does something scary to solve problem, MC family comfort her (?) and eventually MC passes out. Rinse and repeat.
The lack of tension is very noticeable, even for a story with an OP MC. The MC has been described as something so powerful that no one could even think about comparing to her. So how does the author nerf her?
She is very mentally unstable for a start, which at times makes her uncoordinated and sloppy. Yet, that doesn't really work in the face of overwhelming power, so that's not it. Well, her childish attitude may leave her prone to subtler ways of manipulation... or not, because she can just see the soul of a person and that automatically means they are either good or bad (It gets particularly annoying because it's very easy to predict who will be 'judged' as good or bad and how that leaves no room for more nuanced takes on morality). She is also tied to the annoying and childish Amethyst, but it seems the author has decided to buff both her and all her family members so that they can be on par with her (why? Everyone having a God seed is a bland approach to trying to level the playing field).
Ultimately, it comes down to how meaningless and undeserving everything feels. All the friends and family members of the MC get all the blessings because of their involvement with the MC, not because they influenced the story enough to deserve them. If you were to replace them with anyone else, they would just become background characters. For a story that focuses on the interactions between the characters, having weak side-characters isn't a good start.
Admittedly, her interactions with Inutil are funny at times and while unexplained so far, I would like to know more about why the church are so fixated on human supremacy, but I doubt it will be a satisfying reveal if it ever even happens.
Regardless, if you can suspend disbelief and ignore the plot devices, maybe you might enjoy it more than I did.
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So far a great novel, I can't wait for more! It's one of the few stories that does the sanely insane protagonist, if what I am describing it in a way others get that is, right, as in the only other one I can think of off the top of my head is The Death Mage who doesn't want a fourth time.
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I give book 1 a shaky 4 stars. It starts off very interesting, with enough humour to keep the dialogue snappy. There’s also the promise of progress—a new way of existing for X47, outside of Amethyst. It doesn’t wrap up that quest in book 1 though, which is very odd because towards the end of book 1 and in book 2 there’s some s*xual mentions that are inappropriate and uncomfortable to read especially when the MC is trapped in a kid’s body with a kid’s soul along for the ride. I would say this story reads as though the author took periodic breaks away from the writing, but failed to get back into the characters’ heads each time they came back to the story, and so we have pretty obvious out of character/illogicall moments in the tale. A lot of things happen for no good reason, and that’s frustrating/breaks immersion. I had fun until the action really took off and the author started to introduce main plot ideas, because then it became clear that in most pivotal moments, the author had a goal in mind, but had no idea how to get the characters from point A to point B and so just... winged it. Like: they want the MC to have a tough fight, but instead of introducing tough opponents, they just made everyone inexplicably incompetent. The story has great potential and I would love a reworked version of it, but I’ll have to drop it because I cannot keep getting mad at the contrivances. At some point one has to move on, lol.
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This was surprisingly good. I usually don’t like anything without a rational and ill tempered MC, but this has amazing world building, 3d characters, reasoning, and very good explanations. I’m especially hyped about just what other type of legacies she will remember. I hope she doesn’t do the eating white ghost thing in heat to all the ghosts, hoping she will try to get their traits or memories before eating them to maximize efficiency.
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Shattered Moonstone is a fun story, that is mostly about MC and her family lives as chaos ensues, from Hecatolite and because of world slowly falls a part due to a greedy god.
MC, her family (most importantly her sister), friends are all really fun characters. And watching them interact and grow has been a lot of fun.
Now something that needs to be addressed is the MC. She is not exactly sane I say this cause she might not always make the best decisions, or the most optimal thing, but she also isn't dumb? Kind of? To put it basically she isn't a normal person, her mind is literally an absolute mess, but she tries her best for herself and most importantly her sister.
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Pretty good so far the MC is very chaotic which I've always found fun. The character are actual characters not some lose collection of traits and the system is actually interesting especially if you read more into how it works.
A few things that might be a turn off for people, the main antagonist (so far) is the church of light who are evil racists who want to exterminate everyone who isn't a human for no apparent reason. Magic slavery collars exist, and there are major characters who aren't the MC that are canonically attracted to men and do romantic things like kiss on screen.
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Really well written, the MC is funny as god, the world is well crafted and the gods and goddesses are really interesting.
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One of my favorite stories on here, the only story I check daily for a new chapter
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I want to like this, I really do- but none of the characters act in a believable way and it really destroys my suspension of disbelief. The author gets fairly convoluted in an attempt justify contrived situations that don’t make sense, and it breaks immersion. Characters seem to toggle between implicitly trusting the MC and being adamantly against her with no valid reasons, often doing the exact opposite someone in that situation would believably do. People keep making stupid decisions that all seem to inexplicably put arbitrary hurtles in front of the MC, to essentially nerf her. I get that having an overpowered MC that can brute force all problems is difficult to write, but the solution is to put problems infront of them that can’t be solved with brute force, or make the focus something other than conflict like SOL fluff. The author instead chose to unjustifiably nerf her or randomly drop peoples IQ to contrive problems.
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So up front the author has stated this story is a rough draft, wip, etc. And while there are several plot holes and the characters sometimes act out of line from their stated personalities/stated background, I have to admit that I am thoroughly enjoying the story. As long as Tibbet keeps improving their writing and taking note of the tons of constructive critique in the comments, I will be a happy reader.
I'm looking forward to Tibbet finishing the story and starting the rewrite, at least I think that was the plan? I could be wrong *shrug*
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