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Life Of The Vampire Girl – [Stopped]
Life Of The Vampire Girl – [Stopped]
441.7k Views 4424 Favorites 127 Chapters 0 Chapters/Week 1324 Readers
4.0 (217 ratings)
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This novel is incomplete and there won't be more chapters for it. Later, there will be rewrite of the series and I will post the link when I start publishing it.

Erin was a boy, who loved playing fantasy games.
One day, he saw a new fantasy game, so he chose to check it out.
He created his character, a female vampire.
And then everything went wrong.


Follow the struggles of Erin in a different world as a vampire girl.


Editor: TwilightForest

Cover artist: nothingisit4me

ActionComedyFantasyGender BenderPsychologicalRomance
Antihero Protagonist Gore Loli Male to Female R-15 Transported into Another World Vampires Wars
  1. AnnouncementJan 30, 2020
  2. Chapter 124Jan 6, 2020
  3. Chapter 123Jan 6, 2020
  4. Chapter 122Jan 6, 2020
  5. Chapter 121Jan 6, 2020
  6. Chapter 120Jan 6, 2020
  7. Chapter 119Dec 30, 2019
  8. Chapter 118Dec 30, 2019
  9. Chapter 117Dec 28, 2019
  10. Chapter 116Dec 28, 2019
  11. Chapter 115Dec 28, 2019
  12. Chapter 114Dec 28, 2019
  13. Chapter 113Nov 12, 2019
  14. Chapter 112Nov 10, 2019
  15. Chapter 111Nov 8, 2019
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      Status: chapter 84
      Apr 14, 2019

      I would say it's not a bad series. However, it is nothing really amazing either.

      The writing, the planning, just about everything about this series is just good enough to carry the premise. It is a fairly good premise, and the author does a good job not getting distracted from it. However, I take some issue with the characterization. The MC is kinda annoying in terms of her backstory, and it's quite irritating near the beginning. Thankfully though she grows out of it quick. She grows out of her bad characterization and grows into a bland character.

      I also rather agree with the reviewer who gave this 2 stars that Richard's character is really not written faithfully to his characterization. It strikes me that the author is facing a major issue with Richard where he has made a character that is just too strong, and so he has to hand-fistedly force in scenarios to remove Richard from the picture in order to create threats.

      Another issue is that all the author falls too easily into relying on "threat to life" as the principal source of conflict in the series without really ever exploring the deeper sources of philosophical conflict that could easily be found given this scenario.

      There is also no real sign that the politics of this world are very well thought out or developed, and the world building mostly consists of the bare minimum necessary to tell the story and there is no sense of it being a full world.

      All in all, I would say it is just  a fun little series written for cheap entertainment. It is certainly enjoyable, and I would not fault anyone for liking it. It doesn't take many risks, and so as long as you are not too critical a reader to notice the shortcomings it should be pretty good for a quick bit of light reading that you will likely enjoy.

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      Status: c81
      Nov 6, 2019

      For sites like Scribble Hub or Royal road, I try to leave constructive criticism because the author can read it. I really do. This story, however, has so much wrong with it that I don't even know where to start.

      But screw it! My night is free and I have alcohol to spare, so let's binge this sh*t and I'll give my worthless opinions every couple chapters.

      • 1 - 11

      Alright, so far this has just been painful to read. This is like a badly written fanfiction that's been poorly translated by someone who thinks English is a kind of muffin.

      Author, if you are not a native English speaker, I apologize for what I just said. Thank you for learning our language. Please do no let my harsh words discourage you. I know our language can be difficult at times, but please do keep up the hard work.

      Author, if you are a native speaker, then I think you should be burned at the stake for crimes against your mother tongue. I have literally read things written by Chinese middle school students that have less grammatical errors than this blasphemy you call a web novel.

      Right, so constructive criticism time.

      You need to pay more attention to your verb tenses. Having a past tense verb and a present tense verb in a single sentence is very jarring, and really breaks the train of thought when trying to read. That's just simple grammar.

      In chapter seven you wrote:

      They dig a grave and buried his corpse inside.

      That should be:

      They DUG a grave and buried his corpse inside.

      Also, you've got a bad habit of reusing words too many times too quickly.

      In chapter 10 you wrote:

      The guy in front of him tried to jump back and avoid him, but Erin stretched his hand forward and his hand pierced the hunter's stomach.

      Technically, this is grammatically correct, but it still sounds weird. You shouldn't have used "his hand" twice in a single sentence. Try not to use it twice, even in a single paragraph, unless the repetition is there to make a point. It works in some languages, but it sounds very off in English. Try replacing the second "hand" with something like "claws" or "fingers." It's much more descriptive that way, and just sounds better.

      Speaking of things sounding off, the dialogue is just unnatural. Characters are speaking out loud when they should be thinking, and even when they should be speaking out loud, it doesn't seem like anything someone would actually say.

      When you write a line of dialogue, try saying it out loud. If it sounds like something you'd hear in a bad stage play, then it probably needs to be rewritten. If it sounds like a normal conversation, then you're good to go.

      And finally for the first few chapters, what's with the chapter length? Five hundred word chapters? Six hundred words? Those are two and a half page long chapters! At most! You might as well be publishing on Twitter if things are going to be that short.

      Suddenly, these 100+ chapters don't seem like much of an effort to read.

      I'd much rather read two thousand words once a week than six hundred words a day of nothing.

      • 12 - 39

      This hasn't gotten much better, and I'm continuing to question whether or not the author is fluent in English. There are still a ton of grammatical errors, and verb tenses are constantly being used incorrectly.

      The level of detail is abysmally low. There's nothing to help the imagination, and nothing that makes the scenes feel alive. What does the castle look like? A castle. What does the forest look like? A forest. But what kind of castle? What kind of forest? So far we've gotten a better description of a sixteen year old girls ass than we have of anything else!

      The story is written in third person, but the point of view changes so often that it's hard to keep track of who it's following. If you're going to write in third person limited, pick a point of view and stick with it. Don't switch back and forth three times in the same number of paragraphs. If you're going to change the point of view, put a page break, and write enough from that viewpoint to justify the switch.

      Plot wise, it was actually going alright so far. It felt rushed, and the dialogue sounded unnatural, but still generally believable. But then the werewolf war arc ended and WHAT THE f**k HAPPENED TO ERIN'S BRAIN?!


      Richard throws Erin into the middle of a battlefield that he knows she's not ready for, leaves her on her own for a while, and then when she's about to get raped and killed, he swoops in to save her, and she's just like, "Richard, you're my hero, but how dare you steal my first kiss."

      What the f**k Erin?! Do you have stockholm syndrome or something? If someone purposefully puts you into a dangerous situation, they are not a good person just because they got you out of it! Someone who holds a gun to your head is not a nice person simply because they decided not to pull the trigger.

      If that's not a clear indication that this person doesn't have your best interests in mind, I don't know what is!


      And then there's this whole hypocrisy of their "kill or be killed" mentality. When the MC kills people, it's, "Only the strong survive, " but when other people attack the MC it's, "Why would they do something so horrible? Don't they know that murder is wrong? Truly humans are the real monsters here."

      And what's up with how Erin's treating Anna? "Hi Anna, I know you just almost died and you were probably in a lot of pain, but I want to take a bath. Come help me clean up."

      Seriously? Seriously?!

      • 40 - 65

      I must be pretty drunk at this point, because I just left a comment on chapter 65 rationalizing Richards teaching methods.

      As far as grammar and formatting has been lately, f**k that has really improved. Good job author! The prose is still lackluster, but at least it's not painful to read any more. Seriously, compared to the earlier chapters, this is so much better. Congratulations, round of applause, and keep up the hard work!  Even the word count has improved and I can read for more than three minutes before pressing the "Next" button. I'd take back the words I said earlier, but then you wouldn't understand how much I genuinely think you've improved.

      There are a few contrivances here and there, the dialogue still seems pretty unnatural, and Erin and Richard's budding romance seems forced, but the plot is still decent, and the pacing has improved as well.

      Still. You need more detail. A lot more. The readers need more information about the scene than just what clothes people are wearing the first time we see them. We know that they've been in the inn fairly often, but what does this inn look like? Is it made of stone or wood? How many floors does it have? We don't need to know exactly how many tables and chairs there are in the common room, but at least tell us what the bedrooms look like. If one of the chapters hadn't mentioned a window breaking, I'd be ready to believe that they were all sleeping in a basement.

      I'll repeat something I said before. I think that most of the readers would be more than happy to get chapters less often, if they had a higher word individual word count and more detail. That may result in less words per week, but if those words are of better quality, it will improve the story as a whole.

      Another thing I want to bring up is Erin feeling like he's acting "like a girl." Just because he's a girl, doesn't mean he/she has to go all soft and deredere just because Richard bought her a necklace. Gender bender stories like this are the perfect chance to question gender roles, so reinforcing them just makes it seem fetishistic and vulgar. I'm not gonna accuse you of being s*xist or anything, but the story kinda is. Just because Erin's in a female body doesn't mean he suddenly needs to start acting as stereotypically feminine as possible. Getting uncomfortable and in a bad mood because he suddenly started bleeding from his crotch? Totally believable. But getting all blushy and awkward just because some guy she's known for less than a month looked at her? If the sixteen years Erin spent living as a man mean so little, why is this a gender bender story in the first place? Even if Erin had been a woman on earth, this poor excuse for romance would still seem weird and forced. I have read porn that gave better reasons for romance than this has.

      Really, most of these conversations feel like they were written by a bad chatbot that was rejected before it even took a turing test. What is it that these two actually see in each other? For Richard, it at least makes a little sense. He knows that she's his only option, and he's hoping to shape her into his perfect waifu. But Erin? She spent sixteen years as a male, and suddenly she's tsundere for a guy she barely knows? He's a Demon Lord, and he's training her. What else does Erin know about Richard? Nothing. She knows absof**kinglutely nothing about him.

      The single best thing this story could do so far, is for Erin to tell Richard, "Screw you. You're a manipulative asshole. I'm gonna go find my own way of doing things. Maybe I'll come back if I can't find anyone better to make babies with, but I want full custody." This feels like one of the most forced romances I've ever seen, even compared to harem anime.

      • 66 - 80

      Ok. Lyse's stuttering is starting to get annoying. Why is it always on the first syllable of each word? That's not how a real stutter works, and it doesn't at all make her sound like someone unused to talking. At this point it just feels like moe-bait pandering. 

      On that point, stop introducing more characters when you've hardly developed the ones you have! Aside from Erin being a pushover, that's about all we know of her. Give her a bit of depth before adding new people to the roster. And Anna? You pretty much skipped over her entirely in your rush to bring a loli into the cast.

      And... unfortunately it looks like there's been a drop in quality. The grammatical errors have gone back up and the details are still so low that I can't tell if they're fighting in a courtyard or just a large room. It's not like it matters either way though, because the author doesn't seem to know the difference between the setting of a story and setting a table for dinner. Words are again being repeated so often that they're starting to lose their meaning.

      And another thing! This isn't Dragon Ball f**king Z! The characters don't have to have a conversation where they lay out their ideologies before each fight. How often do you see John Wick pause in the middle of a fight to have a verbal sparing match where he debates the importance of his motivation? Never! He goes in there and kills people one after another like he's on a goddamn factory line of corpses, and that's why he's a f**king badass! Leave the battle of banter out of the fights, because we already know how the action scenes are gonna go.

      And yet another thing! Try to have some consistency between power levels. This entire story, Erin has gone from strong to weak to strong to weak. Back and forth, back and forth. Pick something and stick with it! She shouldn't be having so much trouble against slaver trash mobs, even if they are the toughest of the bunch. These fights just seem like artificially inflated difficulty, and I don't believe a word of it. The action chapters are some of the least interesting to read, and have so far been entirely skipable without missing anything,

      And now that we're back to this "hero, " is he just an idiot or something? He's seen that the vampires are protecting a slave, and he doesn't stop to think that maybe the band of murder-happy slave-taking thugs are the bad guys here? And what's with this sudden "I will catch you" attitude. As far as he knows, there's only one real vampire left in the world, and he just ran from that guy's castle without even trying to put up a fight. Where did all of this confidence suddenly come from? And these knights are so great, why didn't he bring people like that along that last time he went to fight a frickin demon lord? Oh, but he's got a magical MacGuffin now! Well where was that fifty chapters ago?

      And... We're getting more unnatural dialogue when inner monologue would have worked just fine.

      Alright. This is just getting confusing. What is Erin's s*xuality? At this point we all know that she has a thing for Richard (for reasons nobody can explain), but is she in to girls too? Is she a heteros*xual female, or a bis*xual male or what? Typically, I'd think that his is still a bit to fast for her to figure it all out, but with how hard the Richard/Erin romance is being pushed on us, I'd expect a few answers by now.

      81 - No. No more. There is not enough alcohol in the world to keep me reading this any more.

      At this point I just feel like a broken record. All of the problems from the beginning are still here, and only the grammar has shown even the slightest improvement.  

      The prose is still awful, and the most descriptive scene so far was about Erin's ass. The characters have received no development, but the cast keeps increasing, and the romance just gets more and more forced. The pacing is too fast, and the plot shows no signs of actually going anywhere while at the same time becoming more and more contrived.

      Author, if you're still reading this review, please try to improve, but don't take this as anything more than the rantings of a drunken man. You wouldn't have published 100+ chapters on here if you didn't enjoy it, and I don't want to ruin your fun. Don't let my harsh words scare you off, because I know that you do have a lot of readers who genuinely enjoy your work. Even popular series like Overlord were sh*t for the first few volumes.

      This story is like a diamond in the rough. It needs a lot of pollishing, but I hope you can bring out it's potential some day.

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      Status: chapter 38: back to the castle
      Jan 23, 2019

      The pacing of the story is really good and I am going to continue reading for the foreseeable future. It would be much better if the Author could make the chapters a little longer and give more details. That would make me much more invested,  

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      Status: c37
      Apr 1, 2019

      There are some things which are interesting enough to start reading, but the entire story is forced. After long build-ups, you can expect 2-4 sentences to "finish" the build-up and throw it into the garbage.

      Richard is supposedly an experienced and strong Demon Lord, who puts a lot of importance on the MC. Which is shown by his complete disregard for the MCs life and leaving an inexperienced person in the middle of a war (with a lot of people who are way stronger than the MC).

      Richard leaves (ignoring the war and the very strong commanders) because something is happening elsewhere. He goes there, sort-of-but-not-really handles it, but OH NO! Spider sense is tingling! MC must be in grave danger! Richard speeds off to... not help the MC... He just appears back on the battle field and goes "Meh, the MC will probably be fine, even though I can't see the MC at all and have no clue what state she is in or what she is fighting. Spider sense schmider sense".  Then proceeds to spend 10-20 minutes slowly fighting the enemy commander for <insert reasons here>, not showing any of the strength of our supposed super-strong Demon Lord. 

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      Status: chapter 38: back to the castle
      Jan 23, 2019

      I want to preface this review by saying that Troll-sensei is a very dear friend of mine, so ignore the score (there's an inside joke for the score haha) and focus on my words. XD

      The Life of the Vampire Girl is a story that grows on you. The strength of this novel is absolutely in the protagonist, and Erin is the kind of character that only gets cuter with each chapter. I *really* appreciated Troll-sensei's depiction of Erin's discomfort in their new position, and the MC spends a good section of the novel continuing to think of themself as a boy at heart (even though gradually their actions become more girly). I thought this was refreshing compared to a lot of existing gender-bender out there, and I enjoyed watching Erin struggle with his/her situation and circumstances with the ML.

      This is a two-edged sword. Because Erin has a boyish view of themself, sometimes this novel can give off BL vibes. I love BL/shounen ai, so I absolutely adored this spin on gender bender. Troll-sensei himself said that he was inspired by Reborn as My Love Rival's Wife (on NU). However, if you're a BL-hater, you may not like this novel for the reasons stated above.

      In terms of writing, there is certainly room for improvement. The rhythm/pacing of the novel seems fast, and there are lots of places where description is lacking. I kind of view this story more as a draft than a finished product, and I'd encourage other readers to see this story this way too. Troll-sensei wrote almost 40 chapters in one week (!!!), so as you might imagine, it's definitely rough around the edges.

      The last comment that I'll have is that as of chapter 38, the ML isn't very likable. It feels like this a problem given that this is mainly a romance story, but Troll-sensei says that he has something big planned and up his sleeve, so I guess we can only wait for more! :Blobjoy:

      Overall, there are definitely some sweet/adorable moments in this story, although there are also very rough ones too. If you're starving for some cute vampire girls with a slight shounen-ai vibe, definitely give this a try! There's quite a lot of us following this story eagerly because the plot itself does grip you in. There's a reason why this story is #1 ranked for gender bender!

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      Status: chapter 42: a new journey
      Jan 27, 2019

      I don't know how to write expert sounding reviews.

      To the author: Im enjoying your story and ill be sure to read it till the end! 

      To readers: You sorta just gotta deal with filling in details in your head. Questions tend to get answered in later chapters. Just don't take it seriously and enjoy the ride.

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      Status: chapter 79
      Mar 21, 2019

      Overall I like it but there are some mistakes here and there made by the author which sometimes are pretty bad but nonetheless it's a good story and I'd recommend it 

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      Status: c1
      Mar 7, 2019

      I suggest that for the author to make the tag "Strong at the Start" I think the author forgot that or was deliberately made that way "😅"

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      Status: chapter 82
      Apr 6, 2019

      This is an enjoyable story. Although the MC can be a little annoying,



      is still enjoyable. The romance takes a slow enough pace, while different things happen along the way. Don't be annoyed by the missing information, as it tends to be told later in the story. The missing parts can just be filled in by your imagination. There might be some silly  decisions made by our MC or Richard, but not everything has to make sense. Overall a good read. I hope the writer will keep posting. Cheers

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      Status: c0
      Mar 4, 2019

      To see Trollingtrolls succeeding in his (first) novel makes me extremely joyful. I personally enjoy his novel very much even though there maybe be a few issues, but overall its okay. And since im biased ill give it a 5

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