The legs of the wooden table, placed at the center of the room, had been eaten by the unseeable termites, and --> The legs of the wooden table, placed at the center of the room, eaten by the unseeable (surprised to see this here as most people go for invisible) termites, = This meant to avoid using passive voice on a description, you usually want to use it to undermine an action that you do not wish the reader to take as revelant.mold, it had become the warm nest of dark worms and, perhaps, the resting place of unlucky bugs. -> mold. It had

falling apart just -> falling apart, just

were finely aged -> passive voice The rock walls of the house were also covered in thick threads and vines, so much -> passive voice something like, *The rock walls of the house were full of thick threads and vines, *But, because it was a moonless night, there was little to no light coming from outside. -> but because it... = unnecessary comma (usually comes before a but, not after.) And, on top of the cabinet, covered in dust all over it with the exception of its glass front, -> it, with (when changing to another section or delving deeper into the description.) of practicality but -> of practicality, but = as mentioned above, a comma goes before the butNot a big fan of these extra spaces between the sentences as that grammatically speaking usually refers to a change of pov, thus if you ever need to swap it, would you make it double? Seeing as it is a first person story, you most-likely won't need to, but a good tip nonetheless.I'm by far no genius in litrpg, thus when someone mentions: [Grade: Relic][Level: 1 | F-Rank]

As a reader, this is conflicting, so is it a relic grade or a F rank? Grand and rank mean the same thing. Usually what authors do is start this sentient items as F rank and through the plot they increase more and more till it reaches something like a relic rank. A nasty error that I found in the entire novel was the use of quotation marks, they are used in dialogue, and well, a camera doesn't speak, thus at the very least it thinks. For that you could italic, or even 'I'm a super cool camera.'At some point, I'm expecting someone to pick it up and use it, and it wouldn't be abnormal to hear the user speaking, whereas quotation marks will come in hand. Chapter 2: —3rd Person POV— (I review as I read, so here I got the answer to my earlier question, though, if you're starting a chapter, you don't need to mention you changed the pov.) If it's midday, that you'd need to do what I suggested.“Appraisal.” (No need to use bold on a skill usage, optional.) She sighed, “you temple dwellers... ” But then she noticed a small glass part on the back of the camera, “hm? What is this?” ->but (You don't capitalize an action between two sets of quotation marks.) I like how they don't know what it is for, a possible fantasy/pos-apocaliptic scenario.