It has a good concept (though the concept is nothing new). However, the clunky grammar, bad dialogue, flat characters (this might change in later chapters I'm not sure) really dragged it down for me.

Now, I'd have liked to comment about the story (which is bland for me so far, but that's just my opinion), but I will refrain from doing so until I finish all the available chapters.

===The section below is my personal preferences only. Take it with a grain of salt===

The tense... you use present tense. It's not particularly bad, but it just feels weird, considering that a good chunk of stories here are written in past tense.

The use of the so-called 'sound effects' really breaks immersion.

And the thing where you said about no yuri... yeah no that's a flat-out lie. It's borderline yuri with some of the characters.

===

Anyways I made an account just to give this a review. Good luck on your future writing, Author.

6 Likes · Like

ThomasMrSheep

Status: prologue.

Dec 14, 2022

After a lot of thinking I know the answer to your writing problem:

READ MORE BOOKS!

It is borderline torture to read this, besides the good plot idea you severely lack any depth to your story. Think of it like this, how do you explain to your reader what THIS is?

Well if you don't write anything they will have no idea what it is supposed to be! Is it alive?, can you eat it?, is it an action?, is it hard to become that?, what color is it?, and many other questions that a reader might have.

If you wish to continue this story I highly suggest you to read (heck even watch some youtube videos) a lot more good romance stories (not the love-story with teenagers and uncontrollable urges, neither the ones with sparkling vampires), but keep in mind: What makes this a good story?.

4 Likes · Like

MemeDarg

Status: fervina’s journey: setting out...

Apr 7, 2023

Grammar is kinda spotty, a higher than average amount of spelling errors as well.

besides that, the story is alright, not the best thing ever, but it's enjoyable

if you like OP characters having cute moments, give it a read

MC is a dragon, but spends most time in a humanoid form, if you're looking for just dragon, this isn't the one for you

2 Likes · Like

TheMustardMan

Status: c0

Nov 12, 2022

I haven't really read that far in honestly, but just gonna throw in my opinion of what I've read so far (about 6? Chapters). You really need to like the kind of story it's going for right now, that being "overpowered from the get go". MC starts off relatively strong but not too much, but 2 chapters later finds a library, sees books do stuff, panics like an idiot several times, then evolves straight to an elder dragon (overpowered), skipping through what other stories would use as growth, and making it just not exist. Then, there's the fairy, an annoying little girl who doesn't understand a f**king thing MC says about his pet self (i.e "I don't really get the 'I was a man before' part") and is annoying and stupid, same goes for MC. What I'm trying to say is it's not my cup of tea. The grammar and spelling is okay, but the writing is enough for me to be disappointed after finding another dragon story that has very boring or annoying character interactions.

2 Likes · Like