I finally finished my character to start playing the first ever, full drive, vrmmojrpg, but when I was initializing, my game crashed and everything goes dark. When I came back, I was in middle of a forest, I have my character and my starting Items... Why is a Devil Fruit inside my dimmentional storage? There is another rainbow colored fruit and a seed, along with the normal stuff like the water bottle... What is going on...
*I don't own the picture just look the net for one that looked like my main character, turns out that the looks for my mc is basically human Monet from the same anime that my fan fic is based off. The picture was found on
https://www.pinterest.com/pin/751116044079499061/?nic=1
Just imagine her with a green robe made of sleek dark green leaves that has a hoodie and that shows her arms bellow her elbows and most of her legs
It feels forced. The early chapters had issues with protag and Bonney having caution blown to the wind along with short term memory. And then rather than fleeing what is probably a search zone or keeping their heads down is abandoned for growing a precious resource of significant size over a significant time period. After that, they go past the calm belt with no guarantee that they are strong enough to do so just to go to Amazon Lily. Because they want to get stronger. Later chapters have developed some of the worst english I've seen, but thankfully, the cringe has subsided to where a fanfic should be.
My recommendation: Rewrite the early chapters. I don't care how as long as you can establish believable short term memory.
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I really like the concept of an One Piece isekai and I think it's really original. But the MC starts off with cheat items that just take the weight of the story, I can't find one moment where something bad happens since she's just too overpowered.
The interactions between the MC and Bonny are really cute and fluffy in the beginning, but these interactions keep becoming rarer and rarer when others keep being introduced and more time and attention is focused on them. (PS: What happened to the surprise Bonny and Lex where preparing?)
The s*x scenes where kind of dull and don't have allot of details but they are okay for someone who never made any. It also annoying that Lily just lets others force her to have s*x with them while the romantical interests have been left untouched s*xual and romantical.
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I want more of this story! This story is about the protagonist Lily who wakes in the world of One Piece with only her anime knowledge! You see Lily's views change over time and her interactions are so enjoyable! The author does a great job incorporating the One Piece timeline and gives life to the characters of One Piece. If you like character building and a story of your favorite Anime this is one of them!
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