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/ Series / Fantasy Evolution
Fantasy Evolution
Fantasy Evolution
239.6k Views 9788 Favorites 403 Chapters 6 Chapters/Week 954 Readers
3.4 (51 ratings)
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Total Views (All): 239,558
Total Views (Chapters): 192,333
Average Views:477
Word Count:429,998
Average Words:1,067
Pages:1,564
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Table of Contents 403
Reviews 4
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    Ov3rseer
    Status: chapter 30

    Author needs to work on his grammar and sentence construction. Over all a good idea for a novel but, the way it is written makes it hard to read.

    I cringe everytime something is described  like really dude do you have someone to proofread before you publish? 

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    8 Likes · Like
    UPineapple
    Status: chapter 100: returned to reality, shocking...

    The story is going well, but the chapter layout just hurts. But I do like the direction the story is going aswell as the attitude of the MC.

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    4 Likes · Like
    TDM
    Status: Chapter 153: Roanapur, Yellow flag bar

    The protagonists hidden name must be Gary Stu. This Terror Infinity style story caters to overpowered self-insert readers. My deleted comment from the last chapter I read was... (not really a spoiler, from first few chapters)

    Spoiler

    Wish fulfillment is one thing, but really? Why not just give him magic nanites that can do anything if you want to go this far. He doesn't even NEED to be smart or have the other advantages you gave him if you keep giving this Gary Stu everything at every turn. You can't, in one breath try and convince the reader that this is a hyper realistic situation, where the supporting characters "health bars" are irrelevant, because everything works so realistically, while elsewhere, your self-educated orphan anti-mercenary pirate hero protagonist, respected by nations, feared by bad men, and unknown to anyone that doesn't need to know, before even encountering the system, creates a one-of-a-kind supercomputer megadatabase handheld smartphone loaded own with hundred year old global street maps and a super gun made out of special alloy, that fits in a backpack, shoots sniper rounds, with a silencer, and can be converted to shoot ANY round and needles (a railgun). Yes, that was a long sentence, butohmyfreakinlordwhattheheck!

    ... not even going to address the inconspicuous backpack that luckily happens to also (in addition to phone gun and bullets) have had at least water, snacks, spare clothing, a bulletproof vest, elephant snare, eye-stabbing tool (maybe, unless his super martial arts prowess let him do this with his finger), a mask... or the ready-made magic paper contract that appeared from thin air, ready for Faustian bloody thumbprints.

    You may not like racists, but making one group in a story ridiculously racist can also be racist if you are consistently using the same race as villains. Example: making someone throw around racist comments, and immediately use racist insults when speaking with the first authority figure they see, someone who descends from a magic portal onto a podium, is both unrealistic and insulting to readers from that demographic and/or anyone with half-a-brain. Im going to bet that these exceptional people, chosen from all of humanity, when they meet a godlike being, if "god" is a different race, aren't going t ask for a ticket to hell just because they were previously intolerant.

    [collapse]

    Edit: Story gets momentarily better after around chapter 20, but character remains OP and blessed by luck with ridiculous advantages. And The harem, the stupid harem, added two or three at a time grows meaninglessly, each girl buys his cheap "love" protestations minutes after meeting them. It's dumb, and unnecessary, and detracts from the hidden good qualities in the story. As of Chapter 153 he has...

    Spoiler

    Never been struck by a fist or weapon once; he is so overpowered everything he encounters is trivial. He has more chaos points than he could reasonably spend, acquired effortlessly because he can repeatedly see the future, he can buy skills and gene elixirs to get stronger. He has more women than he could ever bed in a day, even if he did nothing else and played two or three at a time. He isn't in danger, or even the threat of something bad happening someday. He, goes on missions because he wants to get stronger... just because he can (no requirement that he couldn't instantaneously and permanently buy his way it of). The story is already pretty meaningless.

    [collapse]

    Good luck with this story. There are another 150 chapters that I can't make myself read. If you ever edit, no harem... even acquiring women friends, because he doesn't trust men (or some other excuse) is better; remove the miracle gun and phone, give him less ridiculous starting stats and dump the part about governments and warlords everywhere fearing him; totally unnecessary and detract from the story. And, for goodness sake, give the guy a purpose beyond collecting women and stealing money.

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    MannyValdez
    Status: c159

    The writing style can take awhile to get used to but once you do, the story is pretty good. Definitely worth a read if you are into fanfics. 

    I really like the MC and at first its a bit cringe when he "flirts" with women, it gets alot better later. Honestly almost everything gets better writing wise as the story progresses.

    I do think the first 50ish chapters could use a rewrite now that the author has more experience. 

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