[Mature Warning!] [Marvel x Multiverse Fanfic]
In death, Edward finds himself in a dangerous new world as Spider-Man with a task to conquer women or risk his life. The catch? He's in the Marvel-verse and the women he's supposed to conquer are the partners of the characters he admires. With death on the line, he must decide whether to take the girls for himself or die trying. Will he survive? Find out in this thrilling tale.
[Ways of pleasure *Wink wink*]
The author is working on another story and no longer updating this one regularly. Which is great because I can't really describe this novel in any other way than to say it's explosive vomit in word form. Completely legible words but just random chunks of nonsense. (With plenty of shameless smut along the way.)
Firstly the main character is a mess to the point it's a stretch to call him a character in the mental sense. He's not particularly likeable, relatable or understandable. This isn't helped by him being a system puppet rather than growing on his own.
Secondly, none of the character's actions are logical and none of their interactions are believable. And with all the nitty gritty the story has and the amount of times things just go wrong it does come across as a story that's trying to be serious, which just doesn't work out.
Thirdly, the author rolls the dice to have random sh*t go wrong in random ways to random characters at random times regularly. So the story has zero flow or consistency and the MC is alway reactionary and lacking proper agency.
For all my wingeing the story was weird, wacky and different enough for me to read or at least skim the whole thing but I definitely won't be doing so again. I think as long as the author takes this novel as a learning experience the next one will be fine as their writing quality is good and their ideas are original or at least have a new spin. They just need to focus more on three main things:
1. The main character needs to be more stable and have more agency. If he's going to be a bad guy just have him be a bad guy rather than an unstable oddball who has his balls in the grip of some system that controls his life.
2. If the story is going to be nitty gritty and real, then the interactions and actions of the characters need to be more thought out and logical. If it's just lighthearted then it doesn't matter as much.
3. The flow of the story needs consistency, it needs a more tangible overarching story or goal driven by the MC and the problems need to be slower and not instant plot devices that pop up as soon as the last one is solved. The current MC is like a character in a game that gets beat up instantly every time a cutscene pops up.
Lastly, as an extra, just be careful with mind control and godly characters or abilities as they tend to devalue characters, their decisions and their worth.
Pretty good, really well written with an MC I’m sure most readers will grow to like. It is a bit weird though since his attitude in c2 differs a bit too greatly to subsequent chapters. Maybe the Edward physiology started kicking in. Idk tbh but it was a change for the better imo so that’s fine. This fanfic does have specific tags so check them properly before diving in.