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The Envoy Of Darkness
The Envoy Of Darkness
8.6k Views 137 Favorites 38 Chapters 0 Chapters/Week 113 Readers
4.2 (9 ratings)
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Synopsis

"Everyone loves a good fantasy, but my life was turned upside down by one."
What would you do if you had the ability to control the air? How about if you were suddenly brought to a world where, despite your powers, you’re at the bottom of the food chain? On a fateful night, Max Walker finds himself summoned to Asterisk and contracted to Liliana Lockwood as her familiar.
Forced to leave behind his life on Earth, Max begins a precarious journey into the unknown world of magic. Training as a knight, learning to control mana, battling rogue necromancers and even being mistaken for Duke Walker's son... it's just one thing after the next.
But as if that wasn't bad enough, Asterisk, a world which subverts reality as you know it, may just have something to do with Max's own heaven-defying origin... and a secret that could leave the universe hanging by a thread.

By the way, this entire book is available on AMAZON KINDLE.
If you like what you read, please consider buying it. Your support would mean a lot. Plus, you will get to read all the way to the end weeks before the last chapter gets posted here.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08816QJND
https://www.amazon.in/dp/B08816QJND

This is Book 1 of a projected Trilogy titled "The Legacy".

Schedule - Chapters will be published once a week, around Sunday. Bonus chapters might come in occasionally now that I have a stockpile.

P.S - Feel free to comment, especially if you have any advice or criticism to offer. On that note, if you could leave a review/rating or state your thoughts about the novel as a whole that would be awesome too.

Finally got the cover designed!

Genre
ActionAdventureFantasyIsekaiMartial ArtsSlice of LifeSupernatural
Tags
Academy Accelerated Growth Battle Competition Bloodlines Elemental Magic Empires Familiars Female Protagonist Kingdoms Knights Magic Male Protagonist Mythology Nobles Possession Sword And Magic Transported into Another World
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      dosithee
      Status: c16
      May 25, 2020

      A really good foundation and clearly good abilities, but awkward and simplistic execution.  Feels a lot like a partially filled in outline rather than a fleshed out story.

      Let me be clear about my criticisms:  I give them as I think this author has a ton of potential! I'm harsh because I'm disappointed that this story which has all the parts nessicary to be great, doesn't quite make it.

      The writing is mostly there. Some weird word choice here and there and a tendency to choose complex words rather than their simpler equivalents.  The author also uses a bit too many adj and adv.

      The setting is very vague, there are cars and guns, but there is very little explanation or questioning of the rest of the world so it's unclear to me if the rest is medieval or more modern. It seems like it's just medieval world with guns and cars randomly since there has been no mention of other electric appliances, phones, lights, etc.

      The plot seems like it was planned out fully from the start. Unfortunately it is rushed and much of it is forced.  One of the first chapters has the MC make quite a few decisions that seem to have no reason behind them. 

      Characters are thin, but that's OK.  I am disappointed by the MC and his summoner's relationship though.  She pulled him into this world forcefully and he has been following her with no explanation as to why he doesn't just go off on his own, nothing has been shown about the function of the familiar contract as he doesn't seem to be her slave but just a person with his mark on his hand for all we've seen. She acts as if he owes her and he accepts it despite having no reason to.

      An other issue I have is that very early on the mc's background is revealed and we are told that people have certain expectations for his growth. Personally I find this kind of development, just like prophesies, heavily detracts from the joy in seeing the MC get stronger since we already know he is expected to easily grow to  pinnacle, whether he works for it or not.

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