At this point, I just have to face the facts. This story is a Dark Comedy. The two crazy protagonists keep getting themselves into absurdly morbid situations as they fumble their way through a fantasy world. I love camp and melodrama, so expect plenty of that.

Synopsis:

This is the story of a failed god.

Oenus the Thief separated his territory from the starting realm long ago, creating an individual world of his own. While obsessed with immortality for both him and his citizens, he never expected Miss Death to actually show up expecting back dues. Unable to come to terms with Her, he lost his mind and mismanaged his world to ruin, futilely attempting to flee.

This story is also about a bedbound retiree.

Eta is the last resident of Oenus' failing world. She'd been cooped up in a retirement home longer than she'd realized possible, slowly forgetting how to live life in her obstinacy. Daily life always appeared normal to her, despite all signs to the contrary.

In fact, knitting and sex were the only thoughts on her mind anymore and not necessarily in that order.

Her only visitor was a quirky janitor. She'd resigned herself to withering away with only the janitor's zany antics for company, such was life.

Oh, how wrong she was.

Oenus the Thief and Eta the Bedbound escape from Oenus' world to rejoin the starting realm and begin the game to godhood all over again. Only, this time, Oenus's goal isn't his own ascension, it's transforming his blue-haired muse into a godess.

It shouldn't be too hard, right? After all, he asked a dragon for help, and dragons are best at saving fair maidens from the clutches of the evil knights.

'Eh? Eta's crazy, too? At least she's not answering herself'

'That'd be nuts.'

'Right?'

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I'm going to go against the grain here and post this story by the arc. I hate reading a story snippets of a chapter at a time, so I have no choice but to obstinately assume everyone else is the same.

Despite the content, I'm really not trying to be morbid just for the sake of it, this story simply exaggerates whatever bizarre situations that crazy couple get themselves into.

It's going to be a portal fantasy where I mash up all the campy tropes I love, doubling down on the melodrama and absurdity every chance I get. I've certainly read enough of the genre to know what I don't like; hopefully, I can use that to write a story I do.

Don't be shy with any critiques or criticism. It's a fine line between blunt and incomprehensible, and I typically end up on the incomprehensible side of things, so let me know if scenes and characters don't make sense. I have a bad habit of filling in the blank spots in my writing as I go and the only way to fix that is with reader input. Hopefully, RoyalRoad is the platform for that.

This is my first attempt at a novel. It's basically an outlet for all the half-finished short stories and ideas I've never completed.