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/ Series / The Raptor of Life
The Raptor of Life
The Raptor of Life
551.1k Views 8519 Favorites 54 Chapters 1 Chapters/Week 3218 Readers
4.6 (313 ratings)
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Total Views (All): 551,055
Total Views (Chapters): 358,607
Average Views:6,641
Word Count:651,511
Average Words:12,065
Pages:2,370
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8 / 54 Mar 28, 2024
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Table of Contents 54
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  1. Chapter 30Mar 23, 2024
  2. Interlude 19Oct 11, 2023
  3. Interlude 18Sep 25, 2023
  4. Interlude 17Aug 31, 2023
  5. Chapter 29Aug 14, 2023
  6. Chapter 28Aug 14, 2023
  7. Chapter 27Aug 3, 2023
  8. Interlude 16Jul 7, 2023
  9. Interlude 15Jun 16, 2023
  10. Interlude 14May 31, 2023
  11. Chapter 26May 19, 2023
  12. Chapter 25Apr 28, 2023
  13. Chapter 24Apr 5, 2023
  14. Chapter 23Mar 24, 2023
  15. Interlude 13Mar 20, 2023
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      Ariadne
      Status: c0

      I am going to be writing a hot take on the story; please take this as constructive criticism of the story so that it can be improved. 

      The author has a big problem; their main character is unlikable. She is in a way relatable; pointing out the hypocrisy and convolutedness of the cannon source material. What makes her unlikable, is that she turns around and does it herself; she's a hypocrite. This precedent is established in the very first chapter. Also having a bad personality does not help; she is kind of rude and manipulative. She is borderline sociopathic. 

      1.) She criticizes the professor for being mind rapey and having a trust me field. She does what could be described as mind rape (undermines their free will) to 3 people in the chapter. The child molester was justified in a way, but she implied that she is punishing him by not allowing him to feel attraction at all rather than simply fixing his issue. After than she does it to 3 girls, to deescalate a bullying situation, however this was totally unnecessary because the situation could have been resolved with words alone. Finally, she alters Flash's mind for the equivalent of school bullying.   

      She also states that she learned the 'trust me' field from the professor then implied that she used it on Jessica.   

      2.) She is a type of Mary Sue because the author is focusing on how awesome and powerful she is, while the consequences of her actions don't apply to her. 

      3.) She's a villain; this section will get into spoilers for later on. She literally murdered a good portion of the world's population and no one questioned it. The authorities didn't try to book her, not even a word of recrimination. I know it was established that the main character is so powerful that the authorities can't do anything about her, but these are heroes we are talking about. Peggy would absolutely tear a strip out of the main character. Not only that, but she admitted in the first chapter that she didn't know what universe she was in; there could have been a cure. Let's face it, anything can happen in a comic book setting and people pull miracle cure from their ass all the time (sometimes in time limited situations). 

      A side note: you tend to villainize characters completely; there is no room for in-between. There is no good and evil, which makes characters uninteresting. You villainize the professor, so that he can only do wrong in the eyes of the main character and the audience. 

      A similar example of a fiction that has made a lot of the same mistakes as this story is "Magical Marvel (HPxMCU) " by athass_prkr on Scribblehub. The only difference is that their main character is more likeable, thus the story is more cathartic. Not good, just cathartic.    

      Ultimately, I think the author does know their source material and they are trying to point out the issues with it. Where they fail and their story suffers is that they fall for the same issues, undermining whatever point they were trying to make and any catharsis you may get from pointing out the flaws in the source material. The author needs to reexamine their characters; their main character is unlikable, their villains are flat and uninteresting, the other characters just seem like they are their to prop up the main character and justify her actions/existence. 

      There is a disconnect between comic book logic, real world logic and the writing style of a book, helping the author. We all have to suspend our disbelief to enjoy stories like this, but I had to suspend mine a little too far to actually enjoy the story.

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      16 Likes · Like
      bigbootyboy
      Status: chapter 14 part 1

      very good. Story is nice and chapters are super long. Interesting plot and nice romance. 5/5 binge in 1 day

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      13 Likes · Like
      mon5y-san
      Status: chapter 13

      let's get to what I don't like first.

      it feels, lore and worldbuilding are trying to faithfully follow comic books, really horrible for non-comic reader like me. b-rated wuxia novel is more consistant than this sh*t. filled with pseudo science jargons that craft from buzzwords and sound really stupid even if you only has tiny bits of knowledge of that particular field. and  worst part is it always make contradictions at every corners.

      then you have these startrek geniuses who instanly understand everything only when it is convenient. can outsmart everyones with their jargons and never intellect. you know, something like good stragies and deception from disanvantage point.

      and for jean gray....

      as scale get bigger, battle turn from 'use cheat (marvel comic) knowledge to change future and live happy' to 'use cheat (buzzwords bullsh*ts) knowledge to change future and live happy'

      and why it still got 4 stars?

      because goodness it has done. anti hero with no sugar coating, good pacing, and feeling of underdog that it can keep, no matter how inflate power scale is.

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      7 Likes · Like
      Salokin
      Status: chapter 19

      Its really good, I think the GL harem/potential pool might be getting a tad large.  Any Harem fiction where the harem-members start fading into the background is usually too large.  This rule of thumb seems to apply to characters in general but romantic interests are expected to be of more concern to the MC, so its a bit more to the fore front.

      Also, it seems to be in a definitely grosser and more misogynistic version of the MC than what I'm familiar with (having only really watched the cartoon shows or seen the movies).  I'm just saying heads up when you get to the Xavier Institue...

      But yeah this is a good story and worth your time.

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      4 Likes · Like
      majimew
      Status: c21p2

      I mean everything this author magically sh*ts out is a pot of gold.

      Everything is done well, no faults I can really find. Characters and well built and chosen. Relationships seem realistic for the most part and everything is accounted for.

      Only complaint I would have is I guess I'd rather a few thousand word chapter every couple of days instead of a 40k word chapter every few months. Sure it takes a while to read but gotta remember where I am in the story and it doesn't leave on a cliff hanger if you suddenly reach the current final chapter. Probably a reason why this isn't more popular also, people tend to look for things with more chapters instead of word count on here. Probably?

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      2 Likes · Like
      Deltazelda5252
      Status: interlude 10

      I love this book a lot I have been waiting for a Jean Gray book I also like that is takes after the comic's and I have been waiting for a book like this for a long time one where she knows how to use her abilities and her Phoenix Force Powers and Is a Yuri Harem Novel that makes sense and is not total garbage ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for you and this book I just wish the new chapters were more consistent thank you for writing such an awesome story 

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      2 Likes · Like
      alliterativearts
      Status: chapter 23

      4.5 / 5.

      tl, dr; Starts off solid; remains fun and generally high quality despite the plot starting to meander somewhat once she starts on her Fix The World World Tour of the World. 

      Overall, "It's a Fanfic!" (tm) but a good one of those. So, if you like watching a self-insert-type-MC with meta-knowledge get isekai'd and grows into an aggressive demigoddess that steamrolls through the random Marvel Big Bads that, for the most part, get arbitrarily thrown in her way, all while catching Pokemon (err, I mean, gaining a supporting cast of characters) and fixing misc nonsense aspects of Canon than this is one for you!

      ~

      The plot does eventually become unrestrained. Around the mid-teen chapters I noticed things start to bounce around from arc to arc without much logical sense of what'll come next. The consequence of this is that many characters introduced in one arc, while potentially still "around", don't get much screen-time when they're not the immediate focus of the current arc (the exceptions are girlfriend (s) of MC and 1-2 staff members which feels like a pretty small supporting cast). 

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      1 Likes · Like
      Joss
      Status: chapter 11

      Awesome story, great plot and well explained and linked events...

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      1 Likes · Like
      Wenig_IQ
      Status: c19

      Really a great story with incredibly long chapters and the perfect mix between action and characte building. I loved the romance in the first chapters between MC and Silk but dropped it becaused it just had to be a Harem. Thats also why I give it 4 stars. It would have been a perfect story without the harem but whatever. Still good tho. So if you like harem you should 100% read it. 

      much love <3

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      0 Likes · Like
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