The premise is very interesting, so points to the writer for creativity
However, the story fails to keep you interested, with too short chapters (800 words), the MC protagonist syndrome and the amount of stuff that is thrown at him for nothing. More importantly, the protagonist doesn't make any sense, by that I mean his personality, which is a huge series of contradictions
I like, it the MC seems smart but not overly so, hes not arrogant like most MCs and he doesn't flaunt the intelligence he does have over everyone, it's a bonus as he wasn't placed in
Spoiler
Ravenclaw
[collapse]
as most do, he is also muscular which is a delightful surprise for a Harry Potter flick or any flick, so plus 1*.
A muscular MC will always get a plus 1* bonus, too many string beans able to lift cars.
Another plus 1* will be from actually caring about the cast of the original as well also not caring if the story changes.
The world certainly seems full of life and other characters interactions are taken into account so plus 1*
This last star is for making things interesting with a system that you actually have to work with rather than getting everything just from points 1*
Thank you Loskro1 for making this.
Edit: as of now I have lost interest in it, it was fine for a while but once it reached the starlight crafting I just lost interest, overall it was good, though I guess I don't care for adding more than needed, so farwell.
Only liked the idea. No real story and inconsistent charcters. It was a pointless ego boost for the MC who had everything given to him and was wayyy too perfect. Dropped.
Fun story but the ignorant Dumbledore hate puts a damper on the story as a whole. Seems like the favorite plot point of every generic Harry Potter fanfic out there. Ill keep reading and change my review if the story is deserving but as of now its just average.
- the crafting aspect is very interesting and the author expands on the magic of the world a lot to make it interesting. Not to mention they are breaking away from canon so it's not just another 'harry potter + random guy' it's an actual story in the universe that the changes have started to slowly build up.
Bad ish things
- while the grammar isn't horrible it has a lot of small grammar mistakes that are noticeable. Such as there, their, they're and where/were. Just a minor annoyance rather than anything substantial.
- It's a fairly generic ff, the MC is a bit of a mary sue and the story constantly needs to remind you about how unique and special the MC is following just about every trope for HP ff it's to the point of the MC has a noticeable scar on their face and bright defining eyes and has an extreme talent with brooms... he's just Harry but better. But it's written well enough that it's still interesting to read.
Really good story with some mystery. The characters are fleshed out and don't feel two dimensional. Storyline somewhat follows the canon, with the difference that that the existence of MC alone makes minor and major differences here and there. Im very exited what comes next. Also while the breakneck speed of 2 chapters a day feels like Readers wettest dream, I hope the author doesn't burn out...
One of the biggest mysteries of scribble hub is why this author made the MC a child. There is no point in this story where him being a child is better than him already being an adult when the canon timeline started. It really ruined a book that could have been great. He does not act like a child, the other characters don't treat him like a child,
Spoiler
hell he doesn't even attend class. Most of the time he is either not in them or teaching/teaching assistant.
[collapse]
Let's not even go into the fact that interactions between the MC and Dumbledore are mind blowing. Even if he wasn't a child I would still find it weird. Not to mention one of the greatest wizards, schemed Voldemorts death and Harry Potter's entire life somehow can't make amends with a child?
Anyway there were a ton of problems with this novel that would have almost all been solved if the MC was not 10 years old.
P.S. Ignore the "calm protagonist" tag, at points I wondered if MC had mental problems or under some influence because he was so extreme in his emotional breakdowns.
[Posted on Royal Road, Scribble Hub, and previously on Webnovel]
My name is Zeref, a transmigrator who found himself in a Universe filled with many dangers and world-ending crises and beings of unbelievable power.
Oh, yeah. Did I ment
I do not own anything from Marvel or Naruto. I just enjoy both universes.
So content warning first, this is a fanfic of hot steaming garbage. I hope you enjoy it. I will most likely put in bad words, fights, gore and maybe some smut. Or may
Afterlife wasn’t something that he had thought about, or maybe he had, the downside of being thrust into a new world with your memories wiped and having no recollections of any dreams was disorienting.
…but then again he chose th
Summary: A darker, older Harry Potter travels back in time and lands in his Fourth Year, returning from a future where things have undeniably gone to shit. But it’s alright. He has a plan.
(Originally Started in February of 2023 on ot
The opening of Pandora’s Box changed the world, giving rise to an age of superhumans and monsters. Yet mankind was not safe from its own hubris, and in the end, it destroyed itself. It’s the end of the world, but Sonya Chernovna has be
I enjoyed the smithing and LotR parts.
I beared with the Harry Potter self insert.
I can't bear the "and everyone clapped" bit.
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The premise is very interesting, so points to the writer for creativity
However, the story fails to keep you interested, with too short chapters (800 words), the MC protagonist syndrome and the amount of stuff that is thrown at him for nothing. More importantly, the protagonist doesn't make any sense, by that I mean his personality, which is a huge series of contradictions
Read More
I like, it the MC seems smart but not overly so, hes not arrogant like most MCs and he doesn't flaunt the intelligence he does have over everyone, it's a bonus as he wasn't placed in
Ravenclaw
A muscular MC will always get a plus 1* bonus, too many string beans able to lift cars.
Another plus 1* will be from actually caring about the cast of the original as well also not caring if the story changes.
The world certainly seems full of life and other characters interactions are taken into account so plus 1*
This last star is for making things interesting with a system that you actually have to work with rather than getting everything just from points 1*
Thank you Loskro1 for making this.
Edit: as of now I have lost interest in it, it was fine for a while but once it reached the starlight crafting I just lost interest, overall it was good, though I guess I don't care for adding more than needed, so farwell.
Became slightly like a cultivation novel -1*
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Only liked the idea. No real story and inconsistent charcters. It was a pointless ego boost for the MC who had everything given to him and was wayyy too perfect. Dropped.
Read More
Fun story but the ignorant Dumbledore hate puts a damper on the story as a whole. Seems like the favorite plot point of every generic Harry Potter fanfic out there. Ill keep reading and change my review if the story is deserving but as of now its just average.
Read More
Interesting story so far and well worth a read.
Good things
- the crafting aspect is very interesting and the author expands on the magic of the world a lot to make it interesting. Not to mention they are breaking away from canon so it's not just another 'harry potter + random guy' it's an actual story in the universe that the changes have started to slowly build up.
Bad ish things
- while the grammar isn't horrible it has a lot of small grammar mistakes that are noticeable. Such as there, their, they're and where/were. Just a minor annoyance rather than anything substantial.
- It's a fairly generic ff, the MC is a bit of a mary sue and the story constantly needs to remind you about how unique and special the MC is following just about every trope for HP ff it's to the point of the MC has a noticeable scar on their face and bright defining eyes and has an extreme talent with brooms... he's just Harry but better. But it's written well enough that it's still interesting to read.
Read More
Really good story with some mystery. The characters are fleshed out and don't feel two dimensional. Storyline somewhat follows the canon, with the difference that that the existence of MC alone makes minor and major differences here and there. Im very exited what comes next. Also while the breakneck speed of 2 chapters a day feels like Readers wettest dream, I hope the author doesn't burn out...
Read More
I'm too lazy to write a full review, but this story is pretty neat. Even grammar isn't atrociously bad, so it's easily readable. Just give it a try.
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I think it's very well written, I'm bad at reviews but this had my seal of approval
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One of the biggest mysteries of scribble hub is why this author made the MC a child. There is no point in this story where him being a child is better than him already being an adult when the canon timeline started. It really ruined a book that could have been great. He does not act like a child, the other characters don't treat him like a child,
hell he doesn't even attend class. Most of the time he is either not in them or teaching/teaching assistant.
Let's not even go into the fact that interactions between the MC and Dumbledore are mind blowing. Even if he wasn't a child I would still find it weird. Not to mention one of the greatest wizards, schemed Voldemorts death and Harry Potter's entire life somehow can't make amends with a child?
Anyway there were a ton of problems with this novel that would have almost all been solved if the MC was not 10 years old.
P.S. Ignore the "calm protagonist" tag, at points I wondered if MC had mental problems or under some influence because he was so extreme in his emotional breakdowns.
Read More