To lighten the wrath of his blackened readers, Frozen Milk was forced to transmigrate into his own novel to witness what *** he wrote.... more>>

What's this? One plothole, two plotholes... plotholes everywhere!

How do you counter a novel full of plotholes?
Of course, with constant bullshit, constant crap and constant nonsense!

It shouldn't be working but the result?

Terrifying!

Long live holy creator Frozen Milk!

"Damn! What the hell is this?? Wasn't this supposed to be a comedy rip off? A parody? So, why are all my characters leeching onto me? Do I look like a bamboo stick to climb and eat? To stick in between your cheeks?"

"Hello? System help?"

"System is currently on holida- undergoing maintenance, host."

"%$@#!"

Frozen Milk was nearing his despair. Bent, straight, bent, straight, bent, STRAIGHT!!!!

Be ready to have your brains fried, your life questioned and above all your integrity disappear!

-----------------------
Disclaimer: profanities and innuendos
Has elements of BL
This book is pure comedy with some serious elements, if you get offended easily, please don't read

First book in the 'Scum Series' <<less

Sammaël, Accuser, Destroyer, an eldritch entity older than space and time itself, roams the universe, looking for a way to alleviate its boredom.... more>>

When down on earth, Abe Douglas dies alone, drunk and angry in an alleyway, Sammaël seizes the opportunity and takes his body, unaware of the strange and impossible journey it is about to undertake. <<less

// Not currently being updated.... more>>

Riko is an ordinary girl in an extraordinary world. Among the human population it has been discovered that there are individuals with psychic powers, a vast and dazzling array of abilities, of which Riko has absolutely none. That's right, she's just a girl. No, she can't even nullify psychic abilities, they work 100% as well on her as they do on any other normal person.

How is she special, then? Well, she dreams big. She knows what she wants. What she wants is Aimi, her classmate, who is every bit the powerful esper that Riko is not. Of course, Aimi would rather not give Riko the time of day if she could help it, but that's not stopping Riko. Riko's determination is too strong to let a little ambivalence bordering on outright dislike stop her. Besides, they're both in the parapsychology club, so they're going to be seeing a lot of each other.

Plus, maybe she really does have a special ability. <<less

CW: Abuse, mind control, sexual assault... more>>

T̶̳̠̈́̅̅h̵̯̄ḙ̸̅͒ ̷͚̳̼̕s̷̛̙e̸͚̐̇͝ṛ̶̬̫͆̑̆ỉ̵̞̩̐o̵̳̅̽̃ȗ̴̺̳̾ş̶̔ ̸̨͒ċ̸̜̩̪͌̔l̷̼͖̒ã̴͈̦̠̉s̴̺̾͆͘s̴̻̣̾ ̶̹͍̘͝p̵͉̿r̸̫̘̗̈e̷̘̼̋̈́̄s̴̥̰͈̕͘i̷͉̬̅͛͝d̸̎͜e̶̳̦͈͊n̵̡̗̗̾t̶̮̬̚ ̴̣͇̻̆a̴̼͖̎[Help me]n̶̎͋̉͜d̶̥̳̏ ̶̩̂͘I̶͚̙͆̚ ̴̺́̚t̸͍̾̔r̷̮̹͗ị̸͆̎̓͜p̸͙͙̘̾ṗ̶̯̗̓͝e̶̝̟̤͛̔ḍ̸̮͐ ̷̞͇͒a̸̻͔̅̾n̵̡̛͚͌̅ḓ̵̖̤̔̐ ̶͈͇͈͊͝ḟ̶̹̗͎͂͘ě̵̫l̵͇̞̩̀ḻ̸͒ ̸̧̠͍́̈́͊d̴̜̗̲̈̒͠ó̴̳̳͑̚w̶͚͐̅̚n̸̒̓͘͜ ̶̨́̍͝t̵͔̆͘h̶̰̣̲̆̔̈́e̷͚̭̭̽͌̅ ̵̖̹̅s̸̥̀̓c̷̨̠̻̆͝͠ḫ̴̝̌̐̈́ǫ̴͕̑o̷̙̚͘l̶̩̺̟͋͆̈́ ̶͙̒ṣ̵̑ṯ̵̨̇a̵͓̝̲͐í̷͓̲̮͆r̶̦͂ŝ̶͔̍̕͜ͅ.̵̛̻̪̅͒.̶͚̞͍̿̇.̵̨̄ ̴̹̤̹̈́́̕n̴̡̤̈́e̶͉̤͆x̷̡̅̂̏t̵̩̃ ̸̥̥̱̉Ǐ̴̀̎ͅ ̸̣̰͔̾͛̚w̷̹͐͐͛ǒ̸̼̘̦k̶̯͆̈̚e̶̫͙̱̚ ̶̥́u̸͓͛p̴̣̗͊́ ̷̻̽̒à̶̢̤͖͑̕n̷̢̼̎̂͌d̸̰̑͐̍ ̴͕̯̊͊̀f̷̢̞̼̾o̷̲̟͚͒͊̊u̵̻̤͐n̸̳͂d̴̢̠̩̈́ ̴̝̳͔̋m̶̧̼͙̓̂͠y̸̨͚͈͆̾͠s̶͈̻̲͛͒͠ẹ̸̩̲̑̆̈́l̵̫̉̀̾f̴̛̥͈̿͠ ̶̼̓̔̈h̵̠͕̏̀͛ė̴͕̞̝̑ŕ̸̨̝̘ë̸̙͕́̾?̷̛̩̳͋̉!̴̧̬̮͂ ̸͓̎B̴̩̩̝̄̕ŭ̷̜͙̅t̷͇͖̓͠ͅ ̷͉͠Ğ̶̩̩͙o̷̾͜d̸̡͙̜̿̕͝d̴̘͇͐ͅȩ̴͔̫̀͋s̴̗̆̐̅ŝ̵̢̀̀,̴̣̌̈́ ̴̨̀̚w̷̹̔͆̓ͅḧ̶̨̢̬́́̄y̵̪̾̋ ̷̜̳̠̐d̵̟̙̀ḭ̶͍̽̈́͐ḍ̴̉n̸̻̪̈'̷̨̜͓̄͗t̸̛̥̜̹̉ ̷͔̾͜ỹ̵͈͘o̷̗͎͋͌̃ͅȕ̴̙̕ ̸̦̪̪̕ṃ̸͈̀̄͗à̸͙̭̺̋k̴͙̝̪̐̇è̷̳ ̸͇̞̂̇̄m̴̮̭̿̆e̷̫̲͊̈́͐ͅ ̴̹̈́ẗ̷̞̥̳́̍͆ȟ̴̪̽͝e̵̺̣͐ ̴̫̎h̵͓́͆͝ȇ̸̯̩̘r̴̹̔̒o̴̥͚̒̔?̴̝͐̐͑!̷̳̌̄

(To be clear, this isn't an actual cry for help or a weird attempt at clickbait. The title and image change are part of the ARG metanarrative that is the actual point of this story. The actual story was my attempt to write an isekai as weird and bad as possible, really exaggerating things to the point that I thought it was obviously satire, but I guess Poe's Law strikes again. The f*cked-up stuff with the way the "Hero" treats the main character is meant to be extremely objectionable and a heightened version of existing isekai protagonists, because I'm bothered by how people seem to think to stuff like slavery is okay if it's, like, the main character buying a cute elf girl and being nice to her. <<less

One day, Cale wakes up in the body of an unfortunate cannon fodder character that appears in the popular novel 'Fire & Ice', a world in which everyone has some kind of elemental magic. The character whose place he's taken is Calla, a young male that has ice magic and a history of illness. Also, the character that ends up dying in one of the villain's schemes to kill the main protagonists.... more>>

***

This page contains all the info about Thin Ice's revising process, including exactly what I'm changing and progress reports: https://thiniceinfo.carrd.co/#about

excerpt from thin ice (version 2) on pillowfort, in case you're interested: https://www.pillowfort.social/posts/2410646

Join me on Patreon to read the revised version~ <<less

Ming Quan has been put under a terrible curse, one that will claim his life after seven days of suffering. There is only one way to escape this fate, and that is to be mated to a beast of the Silver Serpent Clan. The cold and aloof Yin Xue is just such a beast and has been under the service of the prestigious Ming family for millennia. If ordered, he will have no choice but to take the young master of the Ming household as his mate.... more>>

But refusing to take advantage of Yin Xue in such a way even for the sake of saving himself, Ming Quan instead prepares to live a leisurely life until his death. However, as Yin Xue takes care of Ming Quan during his final days, will the frost in his heart finally melt? <<less

Whether it's fate or bad luck, Liu Yong is poisoned by a snake demon that he is now keeping as a pet. Even with his new companion, Liu Yong is determined to finish his mission of bringing down the wanted man, who is killing snake demons through cultivating their life essence. ... more>>

As the mission progresses the danger Liu Yong finds himself in deepens and he has to choose between the safety of his lover or the mission.

Caution: Smut scenes.

Original Story <<less

Ever since they were little kids in kindergarten, Nola would not use the bathroom without her best friend Elon next to her because she was too afraid to go by herself. Even now, as high school students, she STILL can't go the bathroom without Elon beside her. He's getting fed up with it.... more>>

NOTE:
Due to the subject matter, it may contain some mentions of human waste, but I try not limit the toilet humor as much as possible. There are mentions of it every now and again, but this is not the purpose of the story so it is kept to a minimum.

Update:
...that was until Chapter 59 when it's starts becoming a bit more prominent. It is still being mitigated to be mentioned as less as possible, but do be aware.

I swear I'm not into scat play or golden showers. <<less

A forbidden relationship with the most popular girl in school is the last thing Chloe Lee expects when she begins bartending. Especially when she doesn't even realize she's gay herself. ... more>>

Desperate for money for her mother's surgery, Singaporean student Chloe Lee illegally serves drinks at a local bar. When equally underage RJ Shin--the richest and most popular girl in school--shows up as a customer, they already have something in common.

Their fateful encounter sends both their lives out of control. Chloe's money-making plan is soon derailed by RJ's insistent involvement, a growing hostility at work, and an unfortunate entanglement with RJ's family's politics. Worst of all, Chloe is slowly discovering her sexuality as she falls for RJ. Hard. Suddenly, sacrificing everything for money is no longer an easy choice to make.

As secrets unveil and feelings surface, Chloe is forced to reevaluate her life goals and decide what she is willing to sacrifice for love--and what she must sacrifice for herself. If she holds on to more than she can take, she might end up losing everything she values.

Life is hard, but love is harder.

***
Also published on Wattpad, Tapas, and RoyalRoad
Word Count: ~65,000-70,000
Cover art by @chomk.art on Instagram <<less

Pining Peak Lord Jiao Ziyu attempts to help out his friend and long-time crush, and quickly stumbles upon...... more>>

- a 'Little Hermit' with a seeming interest in horticulture and an extensive knowledge of poisons
- a ‘Red Devil’ with a keen interest in bullying the elderly
- a series of surprising secrets and revelations

This ultimately gets him pulled even deeper into the collective bullshit and drama of time travellers, transmigrators, Systems, and Demon Realm politics.

NOTICE: This story features some depictions of and references to mature themes.

Is it dark though? Not particularly. This is largely a comedy, not a tragedy. <<less

the future marquise is unfairly prosecuted by her fiancé the prince and was going to be sentenced to a life of slavery if it were not for a shy young nobleman who asked for mercy, which as a twist of fate they accepted his mercy sending him and her as spouses to administer a ruined land on the borders of the kingdom.... more>>

"I will be posting this story on RoyalRoad.com too"

"I will be posting this story on webnovel.com too" <<less

"You're not about to carry me out in bridal style again, are you?"... more>>

"Do you want me to?" He couldn't help but smirk. Her face from their date surfaced in his memories. He found it just as amusing as back then. Revenge never tasted sweeter. Would she make the same reaction right now?

It was tempting but the venue wasn't the best place for it.

"No!" Eve protested a little too loudly. She pressed her fingers against her mouth and scanned the premise. As she predicted, hundreds of eyes watched them. A groan escaped her lips. She buried her face on the side of his chest, inhaling his cologne.

"Are you sure?" Ambryan asked, genuinely concerned now. He held her chin and raised it. His violet eyes met her hazel ones. The blush on her cheeks had magnified in saturation. He couldn't tell anymore if it came from embarrassment or the alcohol.

Either way, it intrigued him on how much redder she could possibly be.

He leaned down and whispered in her ear. "I'd be gentle this time."

==============

Eve faced the most difficult decision in her life when an opportunity landed on her desk. And that is? To join a special dating site for the most eligible bachelor of the country,

Her boss.

As a secretary, Eve knew affiliations between her and her boss were forbidden. She must stay in his shadow where she didn't pose a threat to his lovers and his admirers. She had taken measures to fit the job, even changing her style of appearance.

Ambryan Hathaway, CEO of Eros Productions, disliked false information. The only ones he allowed were the ones he initiated himself. In order to please his mother, he had participated in the game of love with a string of flings.

Unfortunately, his mother had enough. She must find a way for him to open his eyes and his heart to meeting the right girl. That one spark would be enough for her son to consider marriage.

And who would be the better candidate than his own secretary?

==============

https://discord.gg/5V89qkc <<less

General Sevei is of the firm opinion that Nobles are shady and Alchemists even shadier. Noble Alchemists are the absolute worst.... more>>

He is not looking forward to partnering with one to guard the border. Upon their introduction, though, it would seem they have already met... under very intimate circumstances.

Oh...,****

Medieval fantasy-world sword and sorcery, but make it gay.

This wholesome, happy-endings-all-around, smutty queer fantasy romance features an M/M main couple along with a host of supporting characters bringing some trans rep, some pan rep, some sex worker positivity, and even a straight ally who tries his darndest, bless his little puppy heart.

Plenty of fluff, plenty of sexy times, a few funny bits, and our gang do all make it through the Horrors - but there is a war on, so there's also plenty of angst and a bit of bloody violence along the way.

CW: Violence, violent death (no main characters), homophobic society, internalized homophobia and closeting, internalized transphobia (supporting character), war veteran ptsd, slavery (supporting character - no abuse of this character is depicted and sentiments are anti-slavery), strong language. <<less

With much effort Xi Lang finally obtains a marriage decree allowing him to wed his lover, Prince You Jinfeng. However, the court astrologer’s vagueness about... more>> their compatibility has You Jinfeng obsessively searching for auspicious signs in the days leading to their wedding. To put his beloved’s mind at ease, Xi Lang decides on a very reasonable solution: stealthily creating his own auspicious signs. <<less

Reimagining xianxia in the context of medical conditions. A short, enlightening tale. Read attentively.

Pierre Havelock is an author, atleast now he is.
In truth 3 decades ago Pierre was dragged across space & time only to land on our boring old earth.
So when one of his 'characters', a girl based on someone he once knew in his past life, appears before him - Pierre is less than best pleased.... more>>

He is even less happy when said girl decides to make his house her new home!

__
Now on Scribble-Hub!

‘The Girl he Used To Know’ began life when I came across a rather silly prompt on a web-novel site I was using;
"Theme: My 2D waifu is now my real life Valentine's!?"
Well with a title like that I couldn’t help but be interested by the idea of leaving my usual writing niche and trying something a bit more novel.

Tying it loosely back to my main series ‘UnderCurrent’, ‘GUK’ was born as a standalone romance novella which you are now holding, styled with Japanese tropes in mind from a more western perspective.
I hope you will find this to be an interesting and fun read - Designed with the intent of being a somewhat contemplative and ‘cosy’ story - Whatever the case I thank you for picking it up and giving it a once over.
- Momentie

__
I adapted the earlier Draft 2 to audio - I can't voice act, or edit, yet I kinda like it & find it personally the best way to enjoy the story😂 - https://youtu.be/kNWiSiZU53U <<less

A tale of betrayal, lies and love. SeJun University is like a jungle. Everyone belongs to a clan, a group or club. The groups leaders hate each other more than anything and it's obvious to guess why.Their one mission , conquer the school and make everyone obey them. The question is how far are they willing to go to achieve this goal... more>>

Falling in love is easy even with your enemy but choosing your heart when things go south is probably the thin line that defines true love.

When you come to this school, one thing is for certain. Trust no one.. Even close Friends tie hatchets over each other's heads . Lovers break their own hearts just to survive.. Being a someone in this school is like walking around with a dart board when everyone is trying to hit the bulll s eye.. <<less

Within the vibrant colours of a lonely and sombre mountain stood an all-white peacock who had searched endlessly for a mate, seemingly reflecting the solitude of the hillside it lived on. ... more>>

This short story is about a beautiful and overly dramatic peacock who mistakes a silent and reclusive pheasant for a peahen and its attempts at pursuing it. <<less

Odette Ferguson, an eighteen-year-old transfer student arrived at Wolf High with the words, 'slut', 'bitch', 'whore' and more engraved into her skin and it frightened... more>> anyone who looked her way but to their surprise, Odette was as bubbly as a human could be. She wore her heart on her sleeves but it came with the price of having bipolar disorder. <<less

What Am I?... more>>

What Are You?

No...

What Are We? <<less

A short story of choice, love, pain and consequences.

Aelia was at war. A maidens sacrifice brokered a fragile peace. Lord Stilwater was a cold, monstrous man: Never removing his silver mask. Now, Mina has one year. She must do her duty, or see her homeland engulfed once again in the flames of war.... more>>

"Some people just wanna watch the world burn... but Me? My dear, I'd prefer to Strike the Match."-Lord Stilwater to Mina.

Series updates will be slow, and uploaded as I write them. <<less