I slowly slump into the cool shimmering pool, unplugging the drain to get some fresh hot water flooding in, moaning softly as my tense muscles slowly de-knot in the extreme heat. Right. If I'm going to get the Demon God to be on my side again, I can just do something big and fancy!

... I have absolutely no idea how to do that, though. I mean, who can just casually come up with something to impress the God of Demons? If someone could have impressed him, it would have been done a bajillion years ago.

Right? I blink a couple of times, pondering over a couple of more options before an epiphany comes, gasping in surprise as I nearly hop out of the bath. That's only if someone knew how to do it before! I could-

That balloon deflates almost immediately when I realize something, my body returning to the hot bath in frustration. If I know it, then the other Demon Generals could know it, why wouldn't they be doing it, then? Doesn't that mean it's just impossible?

... But what if they just don't want their positions to be taken from them? Absolute power is only absolute when you're the strongest one around, they wouldn't want to risk their position over something so silly, right?

The six primal sins. Technically seven, but we don't count sloth. They're the original Demon Generals that have long since been sealed away by the Goddess directly, rather than sending heroes. I feel like that is a pretty good sign of how strong they were...

The Demon God is probably really sick of how useless the current Demon Generals are since we're losing anyway, so what if I bring back the ones who the Goddess had to deal with herself?!

Easier said than done, though! I don't actually know where or how they're sealed, I just know they exist somewhere in the Human lands close to the capital, at least that's what the texts said. I didn't once read a ton of books in the Demon King's palace for nothing!

Let's not think about what was in the content of the rest of those books, I feel like I've repressed it for a reason... Shaking my head, I glance around the bathroom, sucking in a couple of slow breaths to calm myself down, getting ready to consider where they might be.

If I were the Goddess... I would probably put it somewhere the seal can be observed, right? So maybe a church somewhere or... I don't know. Maybe even under this very castle?!

Despite my excitement, that thought immediately tanks it. If it's under this castle, then it's completely hopeless, I'd never be allowed or able to walk around freely enough to find it, it would probably be extraordinarily heavily guarded as well.

... I just need to hope it's nowhere around here! This plan definitely isn't ram-shod at all, no way. All of it is based on a vague assumption and a pipe dream, is that really all I've devolved into? Is that really my only hope left?

I lean back, sighing as I stare up at the ceiling. Maybe I could convince someone to take me to the library here and I could search for references there? That sounds like an almost even more hopeless plan!

Even if it's a false hope, though, I still need to try! If I don't do this, I'll be dead in a heartbeat the moment the Heroine stops liking me again.

I take a few deep breaths, trying to ignore the hundreds of thoughts telling me how impossible it is, how much I'm not going to end up succeeding... If I do though, the Demons will get the advantage! That has to be enough for the Demon God to take me back, it has to.

My heart wavers at the daunting wall before me, causing me to bite my lip in frustration. Am I even sure they actually exist? I don't know, it just feels a little weird that barely any demons know about them. Couldn't there have been, like, an organized effort to rescue them at some point, at least?

Maybe because they're so close to the capital, it was deemed as an impossible feat? I don't know. I just really hope it isn't anywhere inside the capital so I can rescue them without having to do some sort of heroic life sacrificing act.

As for the library, would humans really just leave documentation of where their greatest enemy is sealed just lying around? Probably not... I groan, tossing and turning in the waters in annoyance. Why can't impressing the Demon God just be easy?!

If I can get him to like me though, maybe I can even look forward to more than just a fresh start? Maybe... Maybe I can go back as a hero and then Greed will be like 'Oh, I didn't know you were cool like that.' and waive my debt!

... Okay, maybe not that last part, there's no way he'd ever do that, but maybe I could get the Demon King to pay off my debt for me! Then maybe I'd become, like, Royal Advisor or something for my amazingly strategic plans?

Before I get too lost in thought, I shake my head, smacking my cheeks. No! First things first, I need to find and figure out what kind of seal they have.

Um, there's no chance I could just punch my way through it, right? Probably not... What if it needs a key?

I stop there, letting out a long groan. What if it needs a key?! What am I supposed to do then? What if they're all imprisoned in seperate locations too?! I sigh, whining while I splash around in the water for a while.

I'll just focus on finding where it is first, then deal with whatever comes after. ... Is what I would say, but how in the Hells am I even meant to find that? 'Near the capital' is like, the worst description I could have ever gotten, do they not know how fucking huge this place is?!

It's really... Really hopeless, isn't it? My body lifelessly sinks into the water, all my plans seeming to have come to naught almost immediately. When she starts hating me, what am I to do then? Maybe I'll just find a cave to live in and seal the entrance and stay there forever in the darkness...

Wish I could be a half-demon, then I could just detect where they are... Wait, could I kidnap a priest or something and-...

No, that wouldn't work, they'd just constantly detect me, I'd need to kidnap a really strong priest if I wanted to distinguish between demons, and then that priest would probably just murder me, if we're honest.

Ugh. I mean, I could probably take a really strong priest in a battle, but even if I could force them to tell me what they're detecting, the moment my back is turned...

I shiver, the sensation of holy magic immediately brought to mind. Yep, it's hopeless, pack it up and let's start house shopping for a good cave. I'd like one with a fair bit of substance, something pretty deep so I don't feel super confined. One with water, too, so I can take baths!

... I wish I knew fire magic. How am I supposed to warm up the bathwater if I can't make fire? Or collect wood?

Cold showers for the rest of my life? I shudder in horror at that thought. It's what I need to do, though, if I'm going to survive! Survival means basic comforts are cut! I need to get used to being cold, because I'll be cold forever!

Doing my best to ignore the unhappiness swelling in my chest, I cycle the bathwater once more, deciding that I will only take the hottest of baths until the Heroine hates me.

I focus on the heat of the water in every limb and pore, doing my best to ingrain every single second into my mind so I can fondly look back on it.

Wait, hot springs are a thing, right? Couldn't I just find a cave with a hot spring? Then the water would be forever hot!

I will settle for nothing less, I'm going to find out if anyone knows of a hot spring cave I can move into eventually!

... Maybe I'll steal some furniture from the Heroine too when it's time, and drag it all the way there. This all rules out anywhere in Demon territory, though. Water is so contested there, someone would probably dig up my home just to lay claim to it.

So I'll have to ask a human for cave advice, but... Who would know that? Fluffy? Probably not. Killa? Definitely not. ... Julia? Nope.

That's all the humans I know! Well, besides the servants I'll never see again. I don't recall taking a surveyor on as a servant, though, and I was pretty well learned of their previous occupations.

Fuck. Fuckfuck. Is this the end of the Hot Spring Home idea too?! Why?! I surface from the water, taking a deep breath to whine some more as I slowly climb out of the bath completely. Why? Am I just not allowed to have anything good? Is that why I've been cursed to live this life?

Maybe I can ask the crazy horny elf-maid or something. I begin drying my hair off, opening the door to my room once again, my mouth hanging open as I realize that very maid has disappeared from my bed, everything set back where it once was.

Fuck! Really?! I was just... Ugh...

I sigh, half-heartedly walking over to the bed, flopping over onto it with my still damp body.

Life is over, life is over, life is over, life is over.

Should I just be working to make sure the Heroine likes me, then? If I keep her affection then she can't leave me! ... She can't leave me.

No, she can always leave me, that's why I was planning like this in the first place! We're talking about the Heroine here! The Heroine! Marill! She's crazy! She'll dump me the moment I act out of line, do I really want to live like that for the rest of my life?

Do I have a choice? I don't know anymore...

+Ilvia.+

(... Yes, ma'am.)

+Ilvia...+

(I'm sorry.)

+No, I'm not trying to get you to apologize, I'm just wishing I could actually read your mind like you assume, that way I can figure out when the hell you're... Being like this.+

(I'm not sure which is worse?)

+Well, you're the idiot I fell in love with, and you're the idiot I'm still in love with, so it's fine. I'm not going to leave you even after seeing this, despite what you're probably thinking.+

(... Are you sure?)

+Yes, I am absolutely positive. It actually makes me want to stay by your side even more, just to keep you from worrying about stuff like this. I don't want you to worry about stuff like this.+

(... ... ... Okay.)

+Hey, don't turn away from me, I can see you trying not to smile!+

Author's Note:

Sorry for the extreme delay, learning a new language, while job hunting, and planning to move is really taking up a lot of my mental space, but I promise to be better about it soon. :)